FeeFiFoto Blog

March, March, March!

Making personalized calendars even more personal with the addition of memorable dates; here are some for March

FeeFiFoto was one of the first web sites to offer a service for customers to upload photographs, design, create and edit their own customized calendars.  This was a vast improvement over relying on Kinko's to:

• scan your photos
• crop your photos
• add your captions
• create your calendars
• call you for pickup
• miss some knuckleheaded mistake requiring them to rerun the entire project
• repeat until you finally gave up because you were tired of driving to Kinko's

Creating your own photo calendars online is so easy that you could make a different design for each recipient, leaving out the birthdays of yucky in-laws on calendars for all other relatives. 

You want your personalized calendar to be such an entertaining memento that the reader not only will keep it but will refer to it over and over just for its entertainment value?  We're making that part easy too.

Did you know March 20 is Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions Day?  How could you not make this special event a centerpiece of your annual gift calendar?

See below for other interesting March dates:

March

1

National Pig Day
Peanut Butter Lover's Day
Harry Caray, b. 1914

2

Old Stuff Day
Dr. Seuss, b. 1904

3

I Want You To Be Happy Day
Peach Blossom Day
National Anthem Day
Alexander Graham Bell, b. 1847

4

Holy Experiment Day
Knute Rockne, b. 1888
Antonio Vivaldi, b. 1678

5

Multiple Personalities Day

Shouldn't multiple personalities be entitled to more than one day?

6

National Frozen Food Day
Lou Costello, b. 1906

7

National Crown Roast Of Pork Day
Maurice Ravel, b. 1875

Defrost your crown roast on the 6th; see above

8

Be Nasty Day

9

Panic Day
Amerigo Vespucci, b. 1454

10

Festival Of Life In The Cracks Day

11

Johnny Appleseed Day
Worship Of Tools Day
Ralph Abernathy, b. 1926

12

Alfred Hitchcock Day

13

Jewel Day

14

Pi Day

Can you guess why?

Albert Einstein, b. 1879

Big hint...

National Potato Chip Day

Has nothing to do with the two previous dates

See also National Tortilla Chip Day

15

Ides Of March
Everything You Think Is Wrong Day
Buzzards Day

This one makes complete sense:

• On the Ides of March Julius Caesar thought he was safe. 
• He was wrong. 
• Consequently, he was consumed by buzzards.

16

Everything You Do Is Right Day
James Madison, b. 1751
Henny Youngman, b. 1906

My mother sat next to Henny Youngman at the Carnegie Deli once.  True story.

17

Submarine Day
Nat "King" Cole, b. 1919

18

Supreme Sacrifice Day

19

Wyatt Earp, b. 1848
Poultry Day

In honor of Poultry Day we all do the Chicken Dance

20

Proposal Day
Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions Day
Fred "Mr." Rogers, b. 1928

21

Fragrance Day
Johann Sebastian Bach, b. 1685

22

National Goof-off Day

23

National Organize Your Home Office Day
National Chip And Dip Day

24

National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
Harry Houdini, b. 1874

Here's a hint: don't feed chocolate covered raisins to the dog.  Just a hunch, but I suspect you'll be cleaning up after her for a couple of days.

25

Pecan Day
Waffle Day

26

Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
Spinach Festival Day

27

National "Joe" Day

28

Something On A Stick Day

29

Festival Of Smoke and Mirrors Day

30

I Am In Control Day
Vincent Van Gogh, b. 1853

Definitely wasn't in control

31

Bunsen Burner Day
National Clams On The Half Shell Day

What do you do in observance of Pi Day?

See also: February Strange Holidays

Visit FeeFiFoto to create personalized photo calendars with all kinds of unusual holidays.

I Must Be Good At Something, But It's Not Graphic Design

I know I have talents.  I know I have abilities (but probably not far beyond those of mortal men).  I'm a decent writer; for example, I know not to use a preposition to end a sentence with.  I can knit.  I can cook pretty well, and even better if I pay attention.  What's more, I can sometimes make people laugh, even without having to slip on a patch of grease on the floor.

But -- as much as it distresses me, I cannot produce these or anything like them:

 

I love design magazines and blogs; these logos and more came from webdesignledger.com

Can you produce anything like them?  If so, don't tell me because it'll just make me feel sad and inadequate.

Love Hate Relationship

Many commentators agree that the Number 1 advertising campaign of the 20th century was Doyle Dane Bernbach's Think Small campaign for Volkswagen, begun in 1959.  Advertising Age describes this campaign as "a watershed, discernibly changing the culture of advertising or the popular culture as a whole."  Think Small is cited regularly by advertising analysts for its simplicity, minimalism and cleverness, which defied generally accepted standards of the time that ads should be packed with words, garish images and exhortations to consume conspicuously.  It's difficult to reproduce the print ads in a blog so as to make them readable, so click here for an excellent article about the VW ad campaign.

I remember these ads. My mother, a former advertising copywriter, still raves about their creativity and innovation.  The ads were lovable and they made the VW Beetle lovable too. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for VW Beetles because of the understated cleverness of the Think Small campaign.

But lately I'm beginning to question my affection for VW, precisely because of their advertising.  Specifically, I'm starting to hate this commercial that appeared during this year's Super Bowl: Want to know why? Because ever since this ad appeared, my kids insist on punching me, or each other, in the arm whenever they see a VW.

Even when I'm driving.  On the freeway.

Curse you Volkswagen. 

Maybe.

What are your favorite ads?

Tallis? Tallit? Oh, Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

When a Jewish boy becomes a Bar Mitzvah, he usually wears a yarmulke and a tallit during the service.  A yarmulke is a skullcap worn mostly by Jewish men, although some women do choose to wear them.

The Pope wears one too, but I'm fairly certain he's not Jewish.

There's no specific law or commandment requiring Jews to cover their heads; rather, Jews who choose to wear yarmulkes wear them as a continuous reminder to respect G-d.  As Jews we're all about respecting G-d.  Respecting G-d is the basis for everything we do.  That, and food.  We Jews are also all about food.

A tallit (or tallis) is a four-cornered garment with precisely knotted fringes attached to each corner.  Jewish men (and some women) wear tallit in fulfillment of the commandment to wear fringes at the edges of garments as a reminder of the 613 mitzvot (laws or commandments) Jews are required to follow throughout each day and year.  You might ask yourself, Why are there 613 mitzvot?

Look!  A squirrel!!! 

Generally the mitzvot make a lot of sense.  There are commandments to love other Jews and not to hate them (two separate commandments; guess this concept is important), not to be superstitious (yeah, tell that to my grandma), and not to muzzle an ox while plowing. 

I have to wonder why the prohibition against murder doesn't appear until #482.  I thought this one would be important enough to show up in the Top Ten.

What?  Shut up.

In the olden days, when my mother was attending high school with Julius Caesar (thank G-d my mother doesn't read this blog), most garments consisted of large squares roughly the size and shape of bed sheets, so it wasn't difficult to attach fringes to the corners.  These days finding an appropriate way to place fringes on men's clothing is a bit more challenging, unless you had this in mind:

I love this coat.  I might even dream about this coat.

In cases where it might not be suitable to wear the knee-length indigo denim masterpiece, men can wear tallit.

So why am I bothering telling you this?

Because I made this for Robespierre:

It's his own personal tallit.  For his impending Bar Mitzvah.

This was supposed to be the back but Robey likes it as the front.  His tallit, his choice.

I knitted it.  Each row contains 300 stitches, so if you multiply that by the number of rows you come up with somewhere in the neighborhood of eleventy-billion stitches.  In fact, I enjoyed making it so much that I made it twice.  From start to finish.  Because the first time the edges came out curly and it looked girly* so I tore it apart and started allllll over.  I had a rabbi tie the fringes but I didn't want to put it on the floor with the fringes to take pictures of it, so these are the BEFORE shots.

I'm pretty proud of it, and of Robespierre.  It looks great on him and I know he'll do it justice when he reads from the Torah in June.

Soon I have to start knitting one for Cupcake.  Hers will have pink.

*Why isn't girly in my dictionary?  Spellcheck wanted girdle or Giraldo.

Don't Judge...

until your 12-year-old son bakes chocolate cupcakes from scratch, on his own, and cleans up the mess.

Besides, who cares how they look?  They're yummy.

Where Have I Been Hiding?

Where have I been? Well, do you see that counter down there? Look down -- it's on the right near the bottom. See the thing that says "106 blah blah blah Bar Mitzvah"? I've been focusing on that stuff. For the past week I've been creating a video containing several million photos of Robespierre; eventually it'll also contain video clips, music, credits.  And it's going just swimmingly because I am a professional and talented filmmaker.

Oh.  Wait.  No I'm not.

Back to work.

Enter my Fame Contest!!

Spring Fame Contest 2010: You'll Be As Famous As Sadie The Scottie Dog

A Contest Unlike Anything You've Ever Seen

It's time once again for the FeeFiFoto Fame Contest.

You've seen contests to win candy bars. You've seen contests to win mismatched socks. You've seen contests to win cookies and treats. Now for something completely different:

Enter this contest to win FAME.  And a gift certificate.

You'll be as famous as Sadie the Scottie, and who knows -- you might even appear on The Today Show.

The winner of this contest will have one favorite photograph incorporated into a landing page on FeeFiFoto. Just visit FeeFiFoto, cruise around as long as you like, then come back here and leave me a comment about which item you'd like to see with your photo on the home page of my website.  Plus, the winner of this contest will receive a $10 gift certificate for a personalized photo gift item from FeeFiFoto.

I'll draw one name at random on February 28^th. Once the winner has emailed the photo to me, I'll put it on a graphic on the FeeFiFoto home page.

You can feature family, pets, kids' artwork or artistic shots -- your choice. A black and white photo of your house on a porcelain plate would be lovely. Once your photo is up on the site, far-flung friends and family can tune in and shout to each other: "Honey! Come quickly!  Little John/ Paul/ George/ Ringo is in an advertisement! Well lock me in an ice cream store and throw away the key!"

 

Last year's winner was JC from Castleruins, who chose to have her photo displayed on a Wooden Cherry Colored Box with Tile Inset. The image is printed permanently on a ceramic tile, which is inset into the box's lid. Great as a wedding gift or Mother's Day present.

See your favorite faces featured on beautiful jewelry boxes from FeeFiFoto. Want something funkier?  Choose to have your photo displayed on a wooden puzzle.

Any. Where. You. Choose. Visit FeeFiFoto and tell me what you where you want to see your picture. It's all about YOU.

A few simple guidelines:

• Please furnish your email address so I can get in touch with you as soon as you win; this way, your photo can be up on the site within a couple of days
• The photo submitted to me by the winner must be G-rated
• Your entry must state which item from FeeFiFoto you'd like to display your photo
• The prize for this contest is three months of FAME -- other than the $10 gift certificate, no tangible prize will be awarded
• Blog about this contest (and give me a heads up) and I'll give you an extra entry
• Tweet about this contest and I'll give you another entry

Good luck everybody!

Read more about the FeeFiFoto Fame Contest.

Well, It's Not Exactly White House / Black Market

moar funny pictures

Is There Ever A Convenient Time For The Car To Break Down?

The car.  Is four years old.  It's been hit more than once ::coughsistercough::.  The windshield has two dings.  One headlight bulb was replaced a month ago and the other was replaced last week.  The seats and floor mats have endured the insults of snow, slush, salt, and Pepsi. 

The car is not a Porsche.

Someday, Porsche.  Someday you will be mine mine mine -- and no one under the age of 30 will be allowed inside.  Nor will pretzels, chips, granola, raisins, wet shoes, wet dogs, or wet beverages.  Someday, if it survives, the car will be passed on to a Boy Who Has Received His Driver's License.  That will be the day my license goes into the shredder, except for when I feel like taking my tomato-red Porsche out for a drive.

Until then, I'll take good care of this car.  Its gas tank will be filled.  It will receive the occasional wash.  The oil will be changed within 500 miles of the date or distance scribbled on the little Colorform in the windshield's upper left corner.

And I'll continue to schlep the jumper cables.

______________________________________________________________

Cupcake and I went to the supermarket Thursday after school and before choir practice, along with everyone in our metropolitan area since snow had been predicted within 500 miles of us sometime in the next decade and that's how we roll around here.  We picked up our Super Bowl supplies (go Saints!), Cupcake had a hot chocolate and a gelato (which canceled each other out and neither of which she offered to share with me), and we left the store with plenty of snackage and ample time to make it to her rehearsal.

At this point please imagine the screeching sound of a needle being drawn across a vinyl record.  Thank you.

The battery was as dead as a coffin-nail.

Triage!Triage!Triage!  Whom to call first?  Sister at work -- can't leave.  Brother-in-law?  Office too far away.  Father, playing chess at a friend's house -- not easily reachable.  Mother at home?  Probably available; almost certainly grumpy. Car dealership?  Roadside assistance?  Gas station on the next corner?  No guarantee that any of them can arrive in less than an hour. 

In accordance with the ancient law that Anything for a Grandchild, I handed the phone to Cupcake so she could call Mawmaw.    As predicted, Mawmaw skittered to the rescue so her little darling wouldn't miss choir practice, setting in motion the following tribute to Rube Goldberg:

• Car slams into the garage door that's opening way too slowly for a grandmother in a hurry...
• Causing the door to freeze in the limbo between closed and open...
• Necessitating a 50-point turn to get the car out of the adjoining garage door...
• Requiring a new garage door which has to be ordered and will be installed within a month.

Cupcake Punctuality Issue: under control.  Sort of.

Car Not Starting Issue: not so under control.

Call roadside assistance, step out of the car (cold!) to locate the 166,143.72 digit Vehicle Identification Number, count backwards to identify the last four digits for Mr. Automatic Voice Man; when that's not acceptable, step back out of the car (cold!) to identify the final eight digits.  Finally, when a Real Person picks up the line, step out of the car one more time (COLD!) to repeat the last four digits, then the last eight digits, then the entire VIN, at which point Mr. Real Boy announces that this car isn't on the list for Roadside Assistance but they'll send a truck anyway for the low, low one-time fee of $61.

I tell him to forget it.

So. Here I am in a parking lot full of cars, adjacent to a grocery store full of people stocking up on milk, eggs, bread, vegetable peelers, batteries, donuts, snow shovels, mangoes, socks, light ammunition, fake firewood, capers, matches, roadside flares and anything else one might need to survive a blizzard predicted to dump one whole inch of snow throughout the metropolitan area. If I can match up one of the cars to one of the people, preferably a young guy who likes to show off for women, I'll be in bidniz.

Do I stalk the supermarket in pursuit of a potential victim Good Deed Doer...

and follow him to his car, or choose my subject from among the people manning the various stores lining the parking lot?  Manicure place?  No.  Yoga studio?  Definitely not.  UPS store or athletic shoe store?  Either one a possibility.

Long Story Less Long

In the shoe store I sense a good omen: two male employees, no customers, because anyone who might normally be shopping for athletic shoes is at the grocery store stocking up on sardines and Jello in anticipation of the approaching one inch blizzard.

• The first guy declines to help me on the grounds that his car dealership told him not to use his car to jump anyone else's.
• I'm like Huh?
• The second guy, the younger one, offers to try.
• The car starts, the day is saved, and Cupcake calls Mawmaw to tell her we don't need her any more, just as she arrives in the supermarket parking lot.
• A new battery is installed in the car before the end of the day.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to carry the jumper cables.

Did I Ever Tell You I Went To College In New Orleans?

 

Here's where I found this photo.