FeeFiFoto Blog

FeeFiFoto Blog Joins The Party

My name is Sharyn and I operate a personalized gift web site I recently renamed FeeFiFoto.com.  I have decided it's time to come to the blogging party that I have been reading about for so long and have started the Fee Fi Foto blog.

I bought this site a year ago from some guys who did an outstanding job designing it, but marketing it and making it pretty, not so much.  For the past twelve months I've been:

• Learning my way around the site, products and tech people
• Pounding a temperamental "v" key on my laptop
• Learning my way around Google (well, actually I'm still lost on that one)
• Rewriting FAQs and product descriptions
• Confiscating everything (almost) our puppy has dragged off the kitchen table and carried away to destroy
• Slogging through the swamps of customer service
• Creating and monitoring email blast marketing (still have a ways to go on that one too)
• Inspecting my seven-year-old's hair to see if she managed to wash out all the shampoo
• Orchestrating the site's new design so it no longer looks like a 1950s science textbook
• Trying to convince my father, a financial genius, that he will never teach me math or make me interested in accounting and he might as well give up

Are we there yet?

Why Would Anyone Go To All The Trouble Of Repairing Crocs?

Because they cost thirty dollars, that's why!

See the difference?

Last year I bought the kids Airwalks on Ebay for about half the cost of Crocs, because really -- who's foolish enough to pay thirty dollars for glorified flip flops for kids? Well actually, lots of people, but nevertheless, I didn't want to be one of them because I'm oh-so-careful with my money. BWAAHAHAHAH!!! I know, I know -- sometimes I can be so darn funny!

Anyway.

Robey would have worn them to bed if I'd let him (he's impulsive that way), except that he broke off one of the straps less than a week after they arrived. He still wore them broken but their usefulness was seriously limited, especially for a significantly pigeon toed kid who wears his shoes on the tops of his feet almost as often as on the bottoms.

So this year I bought him the real thing, because he'd demonstrated his irrevocable devotion to the Crocesque Airwalks, and I figured the Crocs might be a bit sturdier, right? because EVERYONE wears them so they must be good, right?

They lasted a week.

One of the buttons popped off and I was getting dirty looks from strangers and vehement lectures that my son was in EXTREME DANGER of -- well, something, maybe tripping or something. I couldn't throw them away after only a week. If I threw away everything my kids dinged or scratched or cracked or whatevered I'd have to have a landfill on retainer. So I fixed it by sewing a black button on the outside and a brown one on the inside to anchor the black one. Proud of my fixing prowess I sent him off to Sea World Camp secure in my insistent and somewhat shrill promise that as long as nobody looked too closely they'd never notice the difference between left and right.

My repair lasted a week.

Meanwhile, the shoes were still a size too big and would've lasted him another year if I could just keep them on life support long enough.

This time I used black button thread twisted with very fine nylon thread, coated in fabric glue and anchored with a liberal application of Gorilla Glue. Robey's just going to have to get used to the brown button.

I suspect my son has a future in product testing.

Halloween Already?

Are there advantages to planning your Halloween costume months in advance?

Cleopatra's been mulling over this year's Halloween costume since the day after Halloween last year; she and Robey also usually begin planning their birthday parties the day after their birthdays. A few months ago she decided to be Lola from Hannah Montana ("Lola" is the alter ego of Miley's best friend Lilly, who dresses in disguise whenever Miley's disguised as Hannah). Normally Lilly's a blonde tomboy, but in full Lola regalia she wears funky mismatched clothes and a wig in purple, orange, green or red. Lilly's played by Emily Osment, the younger sister of Haley Joel Osment, the kid who sees dead people; wearing a wig she looks like her brother if he were, you know ... wearing a wig.

At first Cleo declared she was going to have her hair cut short and color it. This was a baaaad idea. Not because I like her in long hair since, frankly, Cleo won't let me fix her hair and when she does it herself it looks like she brushed it with an egg beater. No, this was a bad idea because, as much as I love seeing her pixie face peeking out from a pixie haircut, I had a sixth sense (sorry -- had to throw that in) that the moment the first handful of hair hit the floor she'd melt down and it would be ALL MY FAULT for, I don't know, letting her have her hair cut, which somehow would turn into making her have her hair cut. Consequently I pretended not to understand English when the subject came up.

Well, with Hannah Montana tickets ready and waiting Cleo became more determined to dress as Lola, so today I browsed Google and came upon a lime green wig on Amazon:

Actually, I came upon quite a number of similar wigs in a variety of colors, which I conscientiously showed to Cleo and here's the point to this whole story: my daughter, who always knows what she wants, and wants what she wants, and gets what she wants, insisted on RESEARCHING the exact color and style of wigs Lola wears in different Hannah Montana episodes, and debating the relative merits of each option. So I visited Google again and came upon a YouTube video featuring Lola in various states of wigness. After a good amount of debate Cleo fixed on the lime green, with a request that I save the video for when it's time to research the outfit.

Now I remember one Halloween when I dressed as a leopard in a yellow shirt and yellow tights with brown paper circles taped all over me; admittedly I looked goofy, but I don't think I debated the subtleties or symbolism of my costume choice.

Is it really necessary to put almost as much thought into a Halloween costume as some women put into the selection of wedding gowns? Just asking.

So Ugly It Ought To Be Hidden In A Paper Bag

Correct me if I'm wrong but this is simply one of the ugliest bags I've ever seen. It's asymmetrical, it looks clunky and unwieldy and unbelievably heavy. I can't imagine where you'd carry it (or why) and what you'd possibly be able to tote inside it.

But guess what? It costs $52,500 (guess $53,000 was just a little over the top). It's called the "Louis Vuitton Tribute Patchwork" and it's made from pieces of 14 Vuitton bags that were cut apart and sewn together. This one has been sold to an unnamed, "very sophisticated" client (according to Vuitton) in Washington D.C.; this begs the question: sophisticated people in Washington D.C.? How could that be? Has Katharine Graham been recalled to life?

But I digress.

In any case, only 24 have been made and only 5 have been offered for sale in the United States. Beyonce Knowles owns one, but the identity of the "very sophisticated" client in D.C. hasn't been revealed (because she couldn't possibly exist, DUH!!).

I suppose I can forgive Beyonce this lapse in judgment; I myself made many many ill-advised fashion decisions at her age (I know, I know it's hard to believe when you consider the sleek, sophisticated look I cultivate now). But why anyone over the age of, well, however old Beyonce is now, would think this bag was attractive is beyond me, unless it stems from -- no! it couldn't be -- the cachet of the lavish price?

Take a look at the entire article in today's Washington Post.

My Last Vacation Of The Summer Turns Out To Be A Guilt Trip

We're getting rid of our swing set, a nine year old redwood structure with a climbing wall, teeter totter, clubhouse/fort, slide and tire swing. The kids have liked it well enough but these days Robey is just as happy shooting hoops with friends or spray painting happy faces on the porch with the blue dye he was supposed to be using on his hair (don't ask! but let me just say, 409 is a wonderful product and yes, I made him clean it up) and Cleo is satisfied drawing elaborate hopscotches on the driveway. I figured I'd have to pay someone soon either to tighten all the bolts, clean and reseal it, or to haul it off.

So I advertised it on Craigslist as free to anyone who'd take it away. And oh, man! within less than an hour I'd received a dozen responses; throughout the day I've received nearly thirty emails, some in triplicate, from people begging: Oh! Oh! Choose me! Choose me! (I'm dating myself here but anybody out there remember Arnold Horshack?).

Some of these responses are real tearjerkers: I have five kids; I've been out of work; I'm raising my grandson; I could never afford to buy one of these... Oy vay! I thought I'd do something nice for someone and now I feel like I should be sending these people substantial checks.

This is why I send money to the Humane Society but don't go there to get my dogs.

I'm Going To The American Idol Concert

And I've never seen American Idol in my life!!

Nor have I ever been the least bit interested!

So why am I going? you might ask (or you might not, for all I know).

Well.

I have a friend (J) who has a friend (L) (are you following this?) who's a lawyer at a prominent local law firm. L requested the firm's box seats for the concert and dutifully (but reluctantly) invited some clients, who were unable to attend. J and L were both dying to go, but L would've looked very bad to the partners if she'd just brought a friend who has no prospect of ever becoming the firm's client. So they put on their thinking caps to try to find someone to invite who might at least give the appearance of being a potential client, and my name came up.

I'm somewhat older than both of them, and I own a house and a not-yet-profitable business. My only duty, apparently, is to raise my eyebrows knowingly to imply that I possibly might someday abandon the law firm I've used for years, and practiced law with before that, in favor of this quite large and venerable firm, mainly due to their generosity in affording me the chance to spend two hours watching the singing equivalent of the Campbell's Soup or Discover Stars on Ice, or whoever sponsers semi-famous figure skaters these days.

Maybe it won't be excruciating. It might even be fun, and since I don't get out much it'll certainly be different.

Let's see... big purse, paperback book, teeny tiny flashlight...

Can You Keep A Secret?

Last Saturday some lady called for "Photogiftmarketing," the legal name of my business. I almost hung up on her -- what chutzpah: a sales call on Saturday! I asked suspiciously what I could do for her and she said a charge had shown up on her credit card but she'd never heard of us and was wondering if someone (ie us) had lifted her credit information. With increasing dread and dismay I took her address and phone number while praying for some colossal and humorous mistake not involving blame; meanwhile I searched her name in my sales records. Strangely, her teenage daughter's name showed up; she'd placed an order for a personalized porcelain plate decorated with a wedding photograph and the caption "Happy Anniversary."

Both tickled and relieved, we agreed she'd act surprised.

It reminded me of the time we conspired with our father to plant a magnolia tree in our back yard as a Mother's Day gift; as we (pampered daughters and less-than-handy dad) struggled to dig a hole our mother came outside to empty the trash for what might have been the first time ever and caught us in the act. I also remembered when my sister threw a surprise party for her husband and arranged for his friends to kidnap him for breakfast so she could get him out of the house and he'd think that was the reason for all the whispering; as his friends brought him home he noticed the catering truck at the back of the house around the corner.