FeeFiFoto Blog

Wordless Halloween Wednesday -- When MY Computer Died I Just Trashed It

Take a closer look.  From Frostfire Zoo

Remember to leave a comment on Friday's post for my giveaway; the drawing is tomorrow.

Customer Service Frustration: Is There Anything Else I Can Help You With?

Busy Mom writes of being abruptly abandoned into the ozone by her internet connection and her frustration with the customer service person who, although robotic, is certainly not bionic.  You can relive the entire delightful conversation here, but one point especially catches my eye.  After an extended satisfaction-free and resolution-free Catch-22ish conversation with Unhelpful Customer Service Lady, comes this:

"Me: "So, you're telling me that in order for you to do anything at all for me I have to not only pay you to come install my wireless network, I must also rent a router from you at an additional monthly charge?"

Comcastic employee: "Yes."

Me: "You're serious, aren't you?"

Comcastic employee: "Yes."

Me: "I'm flabbergasted."

Comcastic employee: "What?'

Me: "Nevermind."

Comcastic employee:"Is there anything else I can help you with today?""

Did everyone catch that last sentence?  Go back and read it if you need to.  I'll wait.

:: brief musical interlude ::

Everyone back?  Good.

Raise your hand if you've never had this experience.  Nobody?  Of course.  The laws of nature demand that any interaction with a customer service representative who has not solved your problem must conclude with the pleasant yet insincere inquiry: "Is there anything else I can help you with today?"  If you're really ticked off you can run them in a continuous circle by responding: "How can you help me with anything else if you haven't been able to solve my original problem?"  It's fun -- try it.  It's like watching a dog chase its tail but more fun because, presumably, you like the dog.

But this brings me to an issue that's been on my mind lately.  For the first time, my web site, FeeFiFoto, is bringing in a 24-hour answering service to field customer service calls during the Christmas season.  Up until now, customer service inquiries had to be submitted by email or through the endless loop of voice mail, with no hope of rescue by a receptionist or corporate directory.  Customers would leave messages and worry about whether any real person would ever get back in touch.  Many of our customers are insomniac shoppers, and hearing a real person on the other end of the phone would be comforting for them.  Starting next week, Time Communications will be answering our phones, and we've been working on a script in preparation for going live.  But that final question has stumped me: what should they say at the end of the  conversation if the problem hasn't been solved?  So far I haven't been able to improve on the decidedly lame "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Any suggestions?

Tackle It Tuesday: The Yard

If you saw my earlier post on sweeping leaves you'll remember that the 200+ trees in our yard produce, well, somewhere between a million and a billion leaves, give or take a few hundred thousand, every spring, and they all loudly crash to earth every October.  The leaves, not the trees.  (Although we do occasionally have trees fall into the driveway or the street, so I pull out my trusty hand saw and get to work.)  Now, most of these leaves we leave to their own devices, but the ones that clog the driveway and sidewalk need to be contained and removed before we're wading through waist-deep piles (no exaggeration) and we tend to lose the dog, along with a couple Girls Scouts and an encyclopedia salesman or two.

So every day the dog and I are out there with the industrial-strength push broom shoving leaves to the end of the driveway.  This is easiest to accomplish after a rain, since the leaves stick together instead of puffing over the broom and out to the sides; plus it's valid exercise for me and Miss Puppy.  You may also recall that our driveway is approximately 170 feet long, so that's a lot of leaf pushing, but by the time 90% of the leaves have taken their leave of the trees, the leaf pile stretches halfway up the driveway, no less than six feet wide and four feet deep (also no exaggeration), which adds up to, let's see... carry the 2... more than 4000 cubic feet of leaves.  Every year.  At least.  Not counting sticks, branches, twigs, beer cans tossed in our yard by friends of the neighborhood teenagers, Jimmy Hoffa, a few more Girl Scouts, and sundry other pieces of detritus.

This year I've resolved to stay on top of the leaf gathering if it kills me, which it probably will.  Therefore, today, as well as six other days of the week, such as Wednesday, Thursday (my birthday), Friday and more, Miss Puppy and I will be out there pushing leaves and rescuing Girls Scouts.

Remember to leave a comment on my October 26 post to win a gift certificate to FeeFiFoto.

You Mean All I Have To Do Is Write A Post?

Blog About Your Blog is running a contest (Thanks, Working At Home Mom!)  I just entered.  You can too.  Good Luck!

Blog About Your Blog is a central gathering place for bloggers to meet and trade ideas:

"Blog about your Blog (BAYB) is a place for good quality bloggers to come together and collaborate on one big project. We have bloggers from all over the world, blogging about a variety of topics."

It's like gaining access to all the information from all the articles in every newspaper worldwide, without having to obsess about recycling.  In addition to researching and trading ideas, you can promote your own blog, generate traffic and help other bloggers promote their work.  I need this.

This contest is being run in conjunction with Bidvertiser (love that name!), which helps place your advertising on relevant web pages:

"In 2003, Bpath spotted the need of website owners to sell their ad space directly to advertisers, overcoming the disadvantages of automated systems, like Google's AdSense and Overture' Content Match, where neither the advertiser nor the publisher has any control of the advertisements' quality, pricing and timing. Bidvertiser On-Site Bid Per Click offers website owners with the ability to sell their ad space, automatically, to the highest bidder, on a price-per-click basis, where the price is mostly effected by the quality and popularity of their website."

Having engaged in a wrestling match all last Christmas season with Google AdWords, I find quite appealing the idea of  choosing where my ads run.

Miley To Go Before I Sleep

Back to the discussion of marketing and Miley Cyrus at Working At Home Mom:

"Miley Cyrus is really nice. If you have a home based business you have got to learn to be nice. Your customers are not going to come back to you if you always have an attitude. Smile and go with it. Your customers are like Miley Cyrus fans, you have to put them first and they will keep wanting more. Your customers will be wanting to pay whatever it takes to get a piece of you."

This is a critical point.  As a web-based business, FeeFiFoto can attract eyeballs as well as Snapfish or Shutterfly or Kodak Gallery, but we'll keep customers based on more than the initial appeal of a Google search.  We're selling similar products at similar prices, so what distinguishes FeeFiFoto from The Fly or The Fish?  It's partly the sense that real people are reading emails and answering phones.

For example, three months ago I got a phone call on a Saturday afternoon from a lady asking for "Photogiftmarketing," the legal name of my business. I almost hung up on her -- what chutzpah: a sales call on Saturday!  Turned out not to be a sales call; good thing I hadn't hung up.  She said a charge with our name had appeared on her credit card but she'd never heard of us and wondered if someone had lifted her credit information. I took her address and phone number while praying for some colossal and humorous mistake not involving blame; meanwhile I searched for her in our sales records.

She didn't appear, but her teenage daughter did, along with an order for a personalized porcelain plate decorated with a wedding photograph and the caption "Happy Anniversary." Both tickled and relieved, we agreed she should act surprised.

More recently, just last week I noticed an order for a photo Christmas ornament specifying expedited shipping that would have cost twice as much as the ornament itself. Since this order was placed in the middle of October it didn't make sense that the buyer needed it quickly to arrive in time for Christmas; heck, it could have walked (okay, rolled) anywhere in the continental U.S. under its own power in two months.

So I did something you'd be unlikely to see from Kodak or Snapfish or Shutterfly: I emailed the customer and asked if there'd been a mistake.  She responded that she needed the ornament as a sample for a photography expo and had procrastinated so long that she was afraid she'd never receive it in time without expedited shipping.  I changed her shipping specification and saved her a pile of money and the ornament arrived with plenty of time to spare; along the way, FeeFiFoto made a new friend.

Remember to enter a comment on Friday's post to win a $10 gift certificate to FeeFiFoto on November 1, my birthday.

I'm Participating In Another Giveaway

Cruise on over to Pajama Mommy and enter to win an Everyday Bag from FeeFiFoto, worth $120.  This is a sturdy microfiber handbag with your favorite photo printed on the front and back, or you can upload a piece of your child's artwork.  I carry one with a photo of our dog and you would not believe how much admiration it generates, especially if I have Miss Puppy with me while I'm carrying the purse.

What A Weird Number: Why Are There 26 Letters In The English Alphabet?

In honor of my daughter, Cleopatra-Queen-of-the-Nile, who recently taught herself to recite the alphabet backwards, here is a  reverse alphabet about me:

Z -- I lovez my zzzs, and I never zeem to get enough of zem.

Y -- My name ys spelled with a "y" ynstead of an "o" and nobody ever gets yt ryte.

X -- Stands for kisses from my kids, which I also can't get enough of.

W -- Whether the weather be mild or whether the weather be not / Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot / We'll weather the weather whatever the weather / Whether we like it or not. (No, I did not write this.  Wish I had.)

V -- The key that's ery very loose on my laptop, so I hae have to go back and press it oer and oer over and over eery every time I use it.

U -- In California, U-turns are much more common than where I live.

T -- I love tea, but it has to be decaffeinated.

S -- I went to the Super Bowl twice while I was in college but it was nowhere near as big a deal as it is now.  There were no performances by Prince or U2 or Paul McCartney.  One year the halftime show was the finals of the Punt, Pass & Kick championships, (do they even have that any more?) and the other was the finals of the Canine Frisbee Throwing competition.

R -- Robespierre is my son's blog name.  The real Robespierre was a renowned French Revolutionary.

Q -- I had quilts made out of my kids' baby clothes because I couldn't stand to give them away (the clothes, not the kids.  There are many times when I'd happily give my kids away.  And by the way, before anyone panics and sics the authorities on me, I'm KIDDING.)

This is Cleo's quilt.  You can barely make it out but there's an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot gingham check bikini in the bottom center.

P -- My web site, FeeFiFoto.com, produces calendars, purses, mouse pads, mugs and many other kinds of gifts personalized with your photos.

O -- "Off with her head!" is one of my favorite lines from Alice in Wonderland.

N -- Nothing.  Nada.  Nope.  No way no how.  Not gonna happen.  No can do.  Nuh uh.  Noooooooo.

M -- I have a marvelous mug with a picture of a rhino.  It's kind of ugly but it's been mine for many years and I'm kind of attached to it.  Soon I'm going to design and buy a personalized photo mug from my web site with a picture of my kids.  Because, don't you know, my kids are cuter than any rhino.  Although they're not endangered.  My kids I mean.  Unless they don't throw their dirty clothes and towels in the laundry.  Then we'll see who's endangered.

L -- I was a lawyer in a previous life.  I like this life much better.  I felt like a loser as a lawyer.

K -- I love kittens.  I eat two for lunch every day.  KIDDING.

J -- I'm Jewish.  I like many kinds of juice.  I don't wear a lot of jewelry.

I -- I love ice cream.  Sometimes I even scream for it.

H -- I have a handbag from my web site personalized with a photo of my dog.  It's one of the few things she hasn't managed to grab and mangle.

G -- Before having kids I never sent greeting cards for the holidays, but now I want everyone we know to see how cute they are, so I send more and more cards every year.

F -- FeeFiFoto is the name of my web site.  When I bought it the name was PhotoGiftPlace but I feel FeeFiFoto is far more fun.  We put photos on all kinds of gift items.

E -- I was once bitten by an elephant at the zoo.  Okay, not really -- it was a chimp, but it really did nip me.  Ask my mom.

D -- I have a deep dimple in my right cheek but none on the left.  Nobody believes it, but the dimple is actually a scar from when I fell out of bed once when I was two.  My face hit the nightstand on the way down and when the swelling subsided, there was the dimple.

C -- Cleopatra-Queen-of-the-Nile is my daughter's nickname.  We are both chocoholics. She's cute and cuddly.  I have curly hair.  I spend way too much time in my car.

B --  I'm knitting a tallit as a Bar Mitzvah gift for my nephew.

A -- Autodidact is one who is self taught, as in a seven-year-old who teaches herself to recite the alphabet backwards.

Oops.  Mustn't forget to tag someone.  Therefore I tag:

Chewy the awesome photographer

Mary at NoPolarCoordinates.  By the way, those pancakes look yummy.  Can you email me some?

My cold weather friend at OurSevenQtpies

Danielle at OneMoreWord

And Jack, whose blog I really like

Effective Advertising (Giveaway)

Last week I posted a photo of this house; it appears that the only way in and out of the property would be either by helicopter or rappelling /grappling hook.  Today I received this comment from Danielle at OneMoreWord:

"Maybe they're like the couple on that car commercial...I can't remember the car, but the guy parachuted down to his car when he left the house LOL

I just hope there's no rock slide...at least for their sake  ;-)"

I know that commercial, but for the life of me, I can't recall the car being advertised either.  Which makes me wonder: is advertising effective if the audience remembers the advertisement but not the product?  I once saw a billboard that has stayed rooted in my memory for more than twenty years; it showed a Perrier bottle and the simple caption "Eauasis" (in case you don't know, "eau", pronounced "oh", is French for "water".)  This remarkably simple tidbit of marketing achieved the perfect balance, at least for me, of memorable quirkiness and solid connection to the product.

This was the balance I hoped to achieve when I chose the name "FeeFiFoto" for my photo gift site.  The original name, as I've mentioned before, was "PhotoGiftPlace" -- descriptive but not memorable. Many of the most well-known photo gift sites have simple, catchy names: Snapfish, Shutterfly, Kodak (of course), which I still remember as Ofoto.  While prospecting for a new name I kept the Fish and the Fly, and Kodak (the Titan, one might say) in mind.  I think "FeeFiFoto" rolls smoothly off the tongue, and the fingers, in a way that will cause customers to remember our name and our ads.

By the way, the car being advertised is Suzuki Grand Vitara.  To find this information I had to do three Google searches.  The first entry that made reference to this commercial was a query about the background music.  The questioner described the ad but couldn't recall the car maker; his guess was Nissan.  The second applicable listing was about the identity of the jumper.  Neither writer appeared to have any interest in the product being advertised.

What's the most obscure commercial you've ever seen?  Leave me a comment (make sure I have a way to get in touch with you) and next week, on November 1, my birthday, I'll draw one name at random and send the winner a $10 gift certificate from FeeFiFoto.

Introducing: Robespierre, On "Stuff"

Hi. Robespierre here. I'm the big brother. Today I will talk to you about stuff. Here is some stuff about me. I am ten. I am going to test for my Black Belt in Tae Kwon Doe in three weeks. The test takes six hours. I'm not kidding -- Six. Hours. My  favorite sports are  baseball, kickball, and soccer. In the World Series, I am rooting for the Boston Red Sox because I like David Ortiz. The picture of the person in the Puffy Chicken Costume, well, that's me. For Halloween this year, I am going to be a Puffy Sumo Wrestler. And that is some STUFF about me. STUFFFF!

By the way -- I took the picture at the top of this post.  What is it?  Stuff, of course.

Thursday Thirteen: Things In And Around The Kitchen

Thirteen Kitchen Objects That Make My Life Worth Living

Blender -- We use our blender almost every day to make yogurt smoothies.  We have a Braun, which is pretty good at standing up to frozen berries and ice cubes, but the next time I need a new one I want one of these.

Big Black Plastic Farberware Spoon -- I have tons of spoons but this is the one I reach for 90% of the time.

Multicolored Fiesta Dishes -- I had windows put in the cabinet doors so I could admire my mixed-up dishes all day.  We also have a bunch of colorful polycarbonate drinking cups, which are unbelievably sturdy; and a drawer full of terry cloth fingertip towels in various colors to use as napkins.  Cleo and Robey like mixing different combinations of plates, bowls, cups and napkins.

Hand Can Opener -- every time I used the electric can opener whatever was in the can splashed on the counter, so back to the reliable old hand crank.

Cutco knives -- man, are these things sharp.  My mother Some lady I heard about cut her lip licking caramel off a Cutco knife and bled copiously.

Dishwasher -- duh.

Roll out shelves -- There's always extra space in our cabinets.

Asparagus Steamer -- can be used for corn on the cob too, but the best feature is that I can cook spaghetti without having to break it in half to fit in the pot.

Toaster Oven -- we use this almost every day too.  Why crank up the oven when the toaster oven will bake potatoes for a fraction of the energy cost?  Of course, we blow a circuit if we use the toaster oven at the same time as the microwave, so we've learned not to do that.

KitchenAid immersion mixer -- pinch hitter for days when the blender is on the blink and the new part hasn't arrived yet. <<<<<<<

Colossal soup pot -- we love our soup (have you seen Best In Show?  "...We have a lot in common.  We both love soup.").  I make soup out of turkey and chicken carcasses and feel very holy because it's healthy and less wasteful.

Swiffer -- doesn't technically live in the kitchen but hangs out enough that one could call the kitchen its second home.

 

Chandelier -- not useful for anything, but lovely to look at.

SSshhh -- Not A Word; It's Wordless Wednesday*

*We interrupt this Wordless Wednesday post for a special bulletin:

Yes, they are wearing swimming suits.

This concludes our special bulletin.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled wordlessness, already in progress.

Bet These People Have To Buy Girl Scout Cookies On The Internet

Holy Mackerel!  How do you suppose they get up their driveway in the winter?

Miley Cyrus Is A Role Model

Fell through the rabbit hole into Working At Home Mom, and since Miley Cyrus is embedded in my brain, this post caught my eye:

“What can we learn from Miley Cyrus? She really does know how to market herself.  How is she doing it and how can we do it to get our name out there and get as huge results as she is??

Well, for one thing, she is every where! We can take that and run with it. We have got to get our names and businesses out there so that they are everywhere, too."

Excellent point.  Miley Cyrus is ubiquitous; she’s on billboards, TV, tee shirts, nightgowns, backpacks, paper plates, and about everything else besides beer cans.  She’s a product of saturation marketing courtesy of Disney Studios.  Market yourself like Miley (well, actually like Disney markets Miley), and make a long-reaching permanent mark on customers' brains.

But how can I market myself if I don't have Disney behind me? 

As a Class-A distractible ADD poster child I can't drive without flipping my eyes left and right at billboards as if I were watching a tennis match. I know I’m not the first parent to cringe at verbatim recitations of television ads: "please oh please oh please Mom, can we have that? They're magically delicious!" Still, billboards catch only people who drive past them. TV and radio commercials hit insomniacs; stay at home moms with time on their hands (as plentiful as dodos) or couch potatoes, but only within their broadcast range. Then there’s the prohibitive cost of buying advertising.

When I bought my web site, FeeFiFoto, I assumed I’d be able to count on word of mouth to increase sales. "Word of mouth" used to mean exactly that -- you'd talk to your family and friends, they'd talk to theirs, throw in some letter-writing, and in days, weeks or months, the story got out there. Now the phrase refers to something way more powerful than simple conversation or written correspondence. Call it "word of mouse": we're on the Internet now, baby! We spread news, gossip, product and customer service reviews in an instant to all corners of the globe (I've never understood that expression, since globes don't have corners. Maybe it’s a relic from the flat earth days.) The Internet is everywhere; therefore, if we want to market our businesses successfully we need to be everywhere, just like Miley, to keep up. To make an impact on eyeballs all around the world at lightning speed, saturating the Internet is the way to go.

Fortunately, I can generate my own viral version of word of mouth at not much more cost than my time at the computer writing, which is something I enjoy anyway.  So I blog. I write about myself, my family, my business, balancing my family and my business, my dog who eats my shoes, anything I can think of to get some attention and bring eyeballs to my site. The best part is that I can do all of it while wearing my Hannah Montana pajamas.

Shlepping Kids

Jane at BabySquared writes about intentionally dehydrating herself before a long drive with her twin pre-toddlers so she wouldn't have to stop for a bathroom break on the way:

"This was the first time I've attempted a road trip of any length alone with the girls... I was careful not to drink too much water before I left, and though I would have liked a cup of coffee for the road, it was just too risky. I didn't bring a stroller, which meant that there was pretty much no way I could have stopped to go to the bathroom... I tried to imagine what I would do if things got really, really desperate. I decided that I could:

1.) Pull up close to a gas station with a convenience store, look inside to see if there was a sane-looking woman working there and, if there was, run in and beg her to go out and keep an eye on the girls while I peed. (No offense, guys, but it just wouldn't be cool to ask some random man to watch my children. Probably not so cool to ask a random woman either, but if I had no other choice....)

2.) Pull over to the side of the road somewhere semi-secluded but not too secluded and go behind a bush while still able to see the car, but somehow still hidden from other motorists. It would be hard to find the ideal terrain scenario for this.

3.) Go to a Dunkin Donuts, where there's a high probability of seeing a police officer (in New England, the cops at donut shops thing isn't just a stereotype -- or a mere line from a Bangles song, for that matter -- it's for real, I swear), and ask him or her to keep an eye on the babies while I went inside.

4.) Put one baby in the baby backpack, which I did have in the car, and carry the other one, and go into a rest stop. But this would present the problem of what to do with the baby I'm carrying while in the restroom. Put her on the floor? Ick. But again. Extreme bladder emergencies require extreme measures ..."

As a single mom, I've had innumerable similar experiences.  Can you balance a baby on one thigh to change its diaper while standing on your other foot, propped up against a public bathroom wall because the restaurant's clientèle obviously reproduce by cell division and therefore have no children so the restaurant  sees no need for changing tables?  You bet!  At least I can, and have.  I've also gone to the bathroom myself clutching a baby around the waist with one arm; he screamed  copiously, but hey -- at least it showed he was still alive.

My favorite story, however, doesn't involve potties at all, but rather chocolate ice cream.

When my son was a month old we stopped by Baskin Robbins on the hottest day of the year for two scoops of chocolate ice cream on a cone (both for me).  Robespierre was in the pumpkin seat, so I opened the car door and clicked the seat back into its carrier with one hand, holding the cone in the other.  At this point the ice cream began to melt.  Really.  Quickly.  All the way down my arm to the elbow.  And of course, I didn't have any napkins.

Now, what are my options?

1. Return to BR for napkins.  Rejected due to the impossibility of getting the pumpkin seat out of the car singlehandedly.
2. Leave the baby in the car and run back into BR for napkins.  Rejected for sooo many reasons, notably the baby will suffocate, and, as a brand-new mother, I cannot conceive of leaving him alone even for five seconds.
3. Leave the baby in that car with the windows open and the motor running.  Rejected because, well, even I'm not that dumb.
4. Call for help.  Rejected because in those days I still hoped for some dignity.
5. Ignore the dripping and get in the car.  Rejected because -- yuk.
6. Throw away the ice cream.  Rejected because it's against my religion to throw away ice cream, especially chocolate (remind me to tell the hot fudge story sometime).
7. Inhale the ice cream.  A disappointing choice at best as I'll derive very little pleasure from the ice cream, although there is the consolation that I won't have killed my kid so soon when he hadn't even begun to be annoying.

So I went with Number 5, inhaling all the ice cream in two mouthfuls without even suffering brain freeze because it was the hottest day of the year.

Then Robey and I visited my grandmother.  Before leaving I went to the bathroom and saw chocolate smeared all over my face.  My grandmother was practically blind so she hadn't noticed, but the lady that stayed with her surely must have seen it; maybe she didn't mention it because she thought I always looked like that.  Or maybe she was so entranced by Robey that she hadn't even noticed me.

Or maybe she thought I was crazy lady wearing war paint and she ought not to make any sudden moves.

There's Always The Inflatable Puffy Chicken

Amanda, today's pinch hitter at 5MinutesForMom, writes about unusual and amusing Halloween costumes:

"Get a bunch of friends together and go as a group costume: The Flintstones, the characters from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, The President and the Secret Service, The American Idol Judges or Michael Jackson through the Years. (OK, maybe you should think of something a little more kid friendly than that last one…)"

She's right.  The most memorable costumes always seem to involve satire or punning.  No matter how groan-inducing puns may be, you have to be smart enough to understand them.  Look at this one:

What is it?  Come on now, think: lady in a dress ... enormous ape's hand around her waist.  Give up?

It's King Kong and Ann Darrow.  Get it?  (Thanks to Christina at Kaboodle Blog.)

Here are simple formulas for some edgy, punny costumes:

• A group + green surgical scrubs = Gang Green
• My sister and brother-in-law + army fatigues (pants on her, jacket on him) = an Upper and Lower GI
• Two people + as much corduroy and argyle as you can muster = the Brooks Brothers
• Girl + bridal gown + cell phone + day planner = Bridezilla

Of course, if all else fails there's always the Puffy Chicken costume.

Doesn't This Count As Exercising The Dog?

Setting:

Scene 1:
Autumn, one acre property entered via steep, 180 foot driveway

Scene 2:
Autumn, interior

Set Decoration:
Well over two hundred (200) trees

Cast of Characters:
One (1) Mom (hereinafter referred to as "Mom"), one (1) medium sized puppy (hereinafter referred to as "Pup")

Props: One (1) push broom

Costumes: One (1) belt, one (1) six foot (6') leash

SCENE 1: Leaves fall from trees, forming a creeping glacier of leafage all the way down the driveway.

Mom: "Hey Pup!  Let's go clear the driveway."

Pup: "Arf!"  

 

Mom attaches leash (see above) to Pup's collar, threads leash handle through belt and puts on belt. Pup and Mom are now joined at the hip. Mom picks up broom and begins gathering leaves from corners of the driveway and pushing them in piles down toward the street. Pup, meanwhile, trots in circles around Mom, tangling Mom and broom in leash.

Mom: "Watch out, pup."

Pup: "Yarp!"

Mom continues to clear a path on the driveway, pushing more piles of leafage toward curb. Pup trots along beside broom, hopping in and out of leaf piles and scattering leaves.

Mom: "Cool it!"

Pup: "Rowf!"

Mom continues sweeping leaves, as Pup prospects in leaf stacks for interesting sticks and treasures.

Mom: "You're not making this any easier."

Pup: "Woof!"

Scene 2: Mom in bathtub, Pup in personalized puppy enclosure.

Mom: "Aahhh."

Pup: *sigh*

I Won! I Won! Now Let's See... Where Did I Put My Speech?

I won something! At Blogtoberfest!  And I didn't have buy any tickets or run really fast or bench press 200 pounds or bake the best brownies, or anything -- heck I didn't even have to get dressed.  Here's the important part of the email notification from Gayla at blogfabulous.com:

 

You've been selected as a prize winner on www.blogfabulous.com - The formal announcement has been made.

What you've won is an HP Photo Book.

*sniff*  I'm so proud.

PS: I didn't win the Stanley Cup.  I just like the way it looks.

Hand Over The Money

Laura over at Mum's The Wurd writes about cotton pajamas for all ages from Hatley Nature.  Besides offering wonderfully comfy-looking jammies and other casual stuff, Hatley is also giving 20% of their online sales profit to Breast Cancer Research throughout the month of October.  This reminds me of something I've forgotten to write about until I read Laura's post.

I've been teaching my kids about charitable giving since they were old enough to drop a quarter in the Salvation Army box.  It recently occurred to me that I could increase our family's philanthropy while generating more income from which to give.

I offered our school ten percent of any purchases made through a link to FeeFiFoto.

I thought the development people would have to be resuscitated, as they hyperventilated at the thought of being perceived as asking parents for more money.  I was completely discombobulated by their response.  (BTW -- "discombobulated" didn't ring any alarm bells with Spell Check.  Is this a good thing?  I think so.)  This isn't asking for money -- it's free money.  It's like finding a quarter on the street.  Or in the change slot of a vending machine (my kids find money this way all the time).  It's like having Ed McMahon hand you a check for a million dollars. In fact it's even better than that, because you don't have to shake hands with Ed McMahon.

Anyway, I've left our school to stew in their own devices for now, but the fat lady hasn't sung yet.  I think eventually they'll acknowledge the power of the loyalty program.  Did you know that Office Depot will donate a percentage of your purchase to your school all year round if you just mention your school's name when you check out?  Target does the same thing (I think you have to use their credit card, but still).  There are tons of free dollars out there available to anyone who will swear loyalty.  Heck, you don't even have to be loyal if you don't want to -- you can cross your fingers behind your back if you like, but just remember to mention your school any time you shop at Office Depot.  And heaven knows, mentioning the school's name is way easier to raise money for your school than having to break into your neighbors' homes to sell them gift wrap or Girl Scout cookies because they barred the doors and windows when they saw you coming

After my meeting with our school I called my kids' former preschool and offered them the same arrangement.  I thought they were going to reach through the phone and drag me through the line by my hair in their eagerness to sign up.  I met with the director for ten minutes, showed her how FeeFiFoto works, emailed some graphics and the deal was done.  A few days later I struck the same deal with the preschool at our synagogue.  Piece of cake -- you promote my site, give out a coupon code for your members to use when they complete a purchase, and I donate ten percent to your cash-strapped organization.  Doesn't that make sense to you?  Wouldn't it make sense to anyone?  Someone offers you free money, what do you do?  It's not a trick question -- you take it!

Are you fed up to here with school fund raisers?  Let me know if you're interested in participating in this deal.

Disaster Averted

Can you keep a secret?  No, seriously -- I can't divulge this story unless I know it's just between you and me.  Promise?  Okay.

I threw away the Hannah Montana tickets.

Stop screaming.

It was an accident, I swear.  We'd gotten two of the hottest tickets of the season from a friend at our bank and I couldn't seem to find a time when Cleopatra and I could drop by to pick them up and express our extreme gratitude, so last week I asked the bank to mail the tickets and resolved that Cleo and I would send a really gushy thank you note.

We waited and waited for the tickets that still hadn't shown up by yesterday, and the show is so irretrievably sold out that there was no way short of many hundreds of dollars we were getting into that arena.

"Well," I thought, "maybe they forgot to mail them."  So I called to make arrangements to pick them up on my way home from dropping the kids off at school, and my friend's assistant assured me they'd been sent a week ago in an envelope the size of a greeting card.

You know how you get all this mail every day and most of it's junk so you weed out the few legitimate pieces and throw away the rest?

Uh oh.

Well, the spirits were smiling on me today, for once, probably out of pity for the crippling migraine I've been whining about enduring stoically for the past week. I'd canceled our housekeeper on Monday so I could take a five hour nap (I'm telling you, this is a merciless migraine), so the trash hadn't been taken out.  And, our recycling is scheduled for pickup on Thursday, although they never pick up on time anyway.  So I raced home and flung recycling left and right until I dug up a greeting card sized envelope from the bank, and there they were -- two tickets to Hannah Montana. 

Luckily for me, Cleo is none the wiser.

Unless you tell her.

Thursday Thirteen

Queenie listed thirteen things and VoteForBecki listed thirteen things, and I'm such a copycat that I'm going to take their idea and list thirteen things too.

Thirteen Things I Wish I Had:

1. A tomato red Porsche and the courage to drive it
2. An on-call massage therapist
3. 20/20 vision
4. A painless tummy tuck
5. A guarantee that my loved ones will always be safe and healthy
6. A squirrel-proof vegetable garden
7. A house closer to my kids' school so we could walk there
8. Spectacular talent as a violinist
9. A home pottery studio and the time to throw
10. An expeditious and effective remedy for global warming
11. A horse
12. My grandparents, so they could meet and enjoy my children
13. A genie in a bottle