Giving

Staci Schoff, A Mommy With An Attitude, laments the Scrooginess she feels when she contemplates that her kids don't need anything more for Christmas than an effective lesson on the necessity of giving back:

"This time of year people call me Scrooge, because when they ask me what my kids need for Christmas I always answer that they need someone to come and haul away three-quarters of the useless junk they already have. But it annoys me to be compared to Scrooge, because the spirit of giving at Christmas is about giving to people who actually need something (which I am all for), not about giving a bunch of crap to my spoiled kids.

I asked J to help me pick out gifts for a child we sponsor, showing him a catalog with things like vaccines, wells, mosquito netting, map puzzles, jump ropes and backpacks. He looked unimpressed by the selection and said, “How about if we give her some Star Wars DVDs instead?”

“That’s not a good choice,” I said, “because she doesn’t even have a TV to watch them on.”

“Well,“ his eyes leapt out of their sockets, “I think we should send her a TV then!”

So I explained that people don’t need TVs. “People need love, healthy food, clean water, medicine, shelter from the elements and peace,” I said, “That’s all anybody needs.”

...

Recently I was telling J a story about the time I met four or five children who were living alone in a cardboard box by the side of the street in Thailand. They were beautiful with big smiles and they said hello to me.

“What did you do with them?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I shrugged, admitting, “Unfortunately, there’s nothing Mama can do about that.” So I explained that I did what any Catholic girl would do, “I just gave them some dollars and said a prayer to the Blessed Mother for their safety.”

His clear dissatisfaction with my answer gave me a smug sense of pride."

Don't feel guilty and don't feel Scroogey.  It takes infinite repetition to teach kids they don't necessarily need more stuff just because the TV insists they do.  It also takes a long time to instill in them the desire to give to others.  Starting in first grade some of my son's classmates (well, their parents, really) began asking for donations to the Ronald McDonald House or Children's Hospital instead of birthday gifts.  By the following year about a quarter of the class did the same, and now, in fifth grade, most of them request donations.  None of the kids really protested too much once their parents carefully explained that there are so many kids who are sick or poor and need stuff much more than they do. 

I bring my kids along deliver gifts to the hospital or RMcDH, so they can see where their donations are going.  They get it, and as good as it makes them feel to see how their donations help people, it makes me feel a hundred times better to see my kids enjoy being kind and generous.  And isn't that the real pleasure of holiday giving?

Comments

[Robbin]

I keep telling the relatives that my son has WAY too much already (only child, older indulgent parents). We only bought him three gifts ourselves. I seriously think we spent more on each other this year.

On Christmas day, we are taking him over to our Church, where I am cooking and serving Christmas Day dinner at our Church's open "soup kitchen". Time for him to start learning that service is the bulwark of our faith.

[MommyWithAttitude]

Hey thank you!