FeeFiFoto Blog

If July Isn't National Ice Cream Month, It Should Be

Make personalized calendars even more personal with the addition of peculiar dates; here are some for July.

FeeFiFoto has been producing personalized photo calendars as a core part of our business since we were established about five years ago. For the 2007 Christmas season we added a bunch of new templates, a thousand or so pieces of clip art, and the capacity to arrange photos in collages instead of being limited to a single photo per page. We've always had a feature that lets you enter your own family birthdays, anniversaries or special events.

Last year the kids and I designed calendars for our family, and in addition to the usual birthdays and anniversaries, we chose one day each month for a fictitious holiday just to see if anyone was paying attention. January 16 was Talk Like Pirates Day, February 24 was Walk Backwards Day, March 1 was Talk Really Fast Day, August 17 was Snowball Fight Day, and November 2 was Kiss Your Mom Day. We also acknowledged some legitimate holidays and anniversaries, like the Ides of March (March 15), Beethoven's Birthday (December 16) and the anniversary of Paul Revere's Ride (April 18). It was fun and silly.

Don't forget: as of today, June 30, there are 177-odd days left until Christmas.  Why not begin designing holiday calendars now?

July  -- The Month Of Ice Creams.  Let's count them, shall we?

1
Creative Ice Cream Flavor Day
Build A Scarecrow Day

That's one ...

2
Visitation Of The Virgin Mary Day
Thurgood Marshall, b. 1908

3
Stay Out Of The Sun Day
Compliment Your Mirror Day
George M. Cohan, b. 1878

 

4
National Country Music Day
Tom Sawyer Fence-Painting Day
Rube Goldberg, b. 1883

You'll need that napkin to wipe the melting ice cream off your face and hands.

5
Workaholics Day
P.T. Barnum, b. 1810

6
National Fried Chicken Day
John Paul Jones, b. 1747

Fried chicken goes well with ice cream.

7
National Strawberry Sundae Day

That's two ...

8
Video Games Day

9
National Sugar Cookie Day
Nicola Tesla, b. 1856

Sugar cookies go well with ice cream.

10
Clerihew Day

11
National Cheer Up The Lonely Day
E.B. White, b. 1899

12
National Pecan Pie Day

Pecan pie goes well with ice cream.

13
Fool's Paradise Day

14
National Nude Day

 
15
Blame Respect Canada Day
Rembrandt Van Rijn, b. 1606

16
International Juggling Day

17
National Peach Ice Cream Day

That's three ...

18
National Ice Cream Day
National Caviar Day
Red Skelton, b. 1913

And four ...

19
Flitch Day

20
Ugly Truck Contest Day

21
National Tug-Of-War Tournament Day
Isaac Stern, b. 1920

22
Ratcatcher's Day

23
National Vanilla Ice Cream Day
Harold "Pee Wee" Reese, b. 1918

Here's five ...

24
Amelia Earhart Day

I've always wondered who'd be brave enough to use an Amelia Earhart postage stamp.  Wouldn't you worry that your letter would be lost?

25
Threading The Needle Day

26
All Or Nothing Day
Vivian Vance, b. 1912

27
Take Your Pants For A Walk Day (graphic from the BBC)

28
National Milk Chocolate Day
Beatrix Potter, b. 1866

29
Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day

30
National Cheesecake Day

Cheesecake goes well with ice cream too.

31
Parent's Day

Joyful Travel And Dance

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

"14 months in the making, 42 countries and a cast of thousands."  Thanks to MetroDad for sending this my way and making my day.

Her Dead Father

Image of Richard Haydn from www.francesco702

Cleo and I attended a matinée performance of The Sound Of Music in London.  Now, The Sound Of Music used to be an American family standard, running reliably every spring on television, but in recent years it seems to have fallen by the wayside in favor of more exciting films like Jurassic Park and Indiana Jones And The Blahdiblahdiblah.  It was only a few months ago that I persuaded Cleo to watch it with me, and I spent much of the movie explaining plot, characters and 1930s European politics.  But she liked the movie and she loved the songs, some of which her choir performed this spring, so I thought The Sound Of Music would be a safe choice of live entertainment on our trip to England.  I was relieved that Cleo had at least some familiarity with the film; otherwise I might have been hissing or miming explanations to her for nearly three hours.

Except -- several times she turned to me to whisper: "Who's her dead father?" 

Now, the stage production of The Sound Of Music is slightly different from the film version; it contains some songs I'd never heard before, and the story smacks more of politics than the straight love story of the movie.  So the first few times she asked I wracked my brain trying to determine if there'd been any mention of Maria's dead father, or her family in general.

Finally, I grasped the source of her confusion, and suppressing a guffaw I leaned toward her and whispered: "Not her dead father, honey.  They're talking about the Captain's friend, Herr Detweiler.

Jet Lag + Muscle Relaxers = ZZZZZ

Vacations -- rarely restful.

We're back and I fully intend to relate some of our travel stories (sorry -- no passport hijinks this time) as soon as I recover from ... zzz ...

Oops - sorry.  Must have dozed off for a moment.

Anyway, there's lots to tell, involving Rolls Royces, the Rosetta Stone, Her Dead Father, Neil Diamond, Princess Diana, Nelson Mandela, security for the Magna Carta, Oprah Winfrey, treacle and Hugh Grant.

Were you aware that, among the alternatives to hijinks suggested by  spell check are: methinks, Nijinsky, and blinks's?  Were you also aware that I didn't know blinks's was even a legitimate word?

The Passport Catastrophe Takes Its Show On The Road

I wrote this post and the two preceding it just after returning from a family cruise a year ago.  Enjoy while I'm away.

My flight left at 6:30 a.m. I'm not a morning person under the best of circumstances, but having to be on the road so early as a result of my own carelessness amplified my distress exponentially.

I landed in Chicago by 7:30 and had so much time before my 11:00 appointment that I decided to take the train instead of a taxi. Arriving at the Federal Building by 8:30, I found -- ruh roh -- dozens hundreds of people waiting for passports. So much for a leisurely breakfast and newspaper before my appointment: I joined the huddled masses.

I won't belabor the story. I won't tell about the 90 minutes it took to clear building security, uncertain whether I was in the right line or even the right building and unable to ask anyone because when I left the line I was shooed back by security guards, who didn't know the answers to my questions anyway. I won't describe the senior citizens, families with small children, and parents with infants standing for hours because we mustn't block the lobby by sitting on the floor. I won't relate the story of the woman who was kicked out for using her cell phone after three hours in line. I won't talk about all the appointments that came and went without acknowledgment, including mine. I won't recount how after nearly four hours the line came to a standstill when most of the staff went to lunch and nobody complained, for fear of being ejected. I won't speak of the guard who grudgingly allowed me to eat half a bagel but wouldn't let me sit on the floor while I ate it. I won't mention the EIGHT HOURS I stood in line because what would be the point?

All day I muttered that while I deserved to be punished for carelessness, I didn't deserve to be beaten up and left for dead. By noon my hands were shaking and I was having a tough time stringing together coherent sentences.  Every time my family called to see how I was progressing I had to hang up on them so I wouldn't get kicked out and have to start over.

On the other hand, I will take note of the people who shared snacks or held your place while you got a drink or went to the bathroom. I will remember the small amusement we felt when a reporter and cameraman showed up outside the building to commemorate our day in Purgatory.  I will mention the lady at the Chicago airport who exclaimed excitedly when she saw me two days later; we'd been at the joint in line together.

All in all it wasn't such a bad day.

Okay -- who am I kidding? It was one of the most fatiguing, preposterous, humiliating, stressful and annoying days of my life. By the end of the day I flew home with a shiny new passport and, yes, a unique story to entertain family and friends.

The Passport Catastrophe Continues

More about my June 2007 relaxing vacation.

Sadly appropriate graphic from Savage Chickens

After clearing my calendar to allow myself ample time to quake violently for approximately the next 48 years hours, I converted to crisis mode. Luckily, when you come from a family where everyone wants to be boss, your DNA is wired to allow you to multitask expedited disaster management and bitter self castigation.

I researched emergency passport renewal online and called the State Department's toll free number. Strangely, the recording complained about the high volume of calls, ordered me to call back later, and hung up.  Seven times. 

Automatic redial.  Yippee.

I finally made contact with a recording instructing me to wait, wait, wait, wait, promising someone might possibly happen along sooner or later if they didn't hang up on me first. During my forty-five minute musical hold endurance test (lucky me -- my cordless headphone lets me wander freely) I heaved luggage and clothes at each other in case I managed to secure a valid passport before the entire family left without me.

Meanwhile I floundered from web page to web page, debating the merits of hiring one of those passport expediting companies versus flying to Chicago for the day. Naturally all this was happening on a Sunday; the private companies were closed so I'd have squandered an entire day before even being able to speak to them and attempt to persuade them to help me out even though I'm an idiot.  I switched my focus to traveling to the Federal Building in Chicago and handling it myself. So, while on my second forty-five minute telephone marathon to confirm exactly what documents I'd need to bring because I didn't trust what the first person had told me, I arranged quickie reservations on Southwest for the next day (I love Southwest Airlines: they're respectful, helpful and easy to work with. Every time I fly Southwest I wonder why I don't fly Southwest every time).

Then I twitched the rest of the day and most of the night, in preparation for the bonus round of my unfortunate and totally self-inflicted adventure.

Phase One: Can You Travel With An Expired Passport?

Answer: Maybe if you're George Bush but not if you're me.  I wrote this post and the two following it just after returning from a family cruise a year ago.  Enjoy while I'm away.

Click here for information on passports, passport expiration and passport renewal.

Image from Larvatus Prodeo

My mother, the World's Most Organized Human, planned this trip for a year. She arranged everything, including a small fleet of private buses in various cities to allow our entire family to see what we wanted when we wanted to see it without having to rely on excursions planned by the cruise line.

Every few days she'd bombard me with offer updates; usually I'd zone out, secure in the knowledge that the World's Most Organized Human takes care of everything.

Except my passport.

Three days before the trip I pulled out mine and the kids' so I could fill out online preregistration forms for the ship. I knew exactly where to find our passports because I'm so organized (uh huh) that I have a safe in my basement so I don't have to rely on a bank safe deposit box. Two months earlier I'd checked their passport expiration dates because kids' passports don't last as long as adults'; I hadn't bothered to check my own, however, because that would have been just too ... sensible.

I'll give you three guesses.

Yup. Expired.  Know what you do when you open your passport and discover it's expired? 

You close it and then open it again.  Then you close it again and open it again, and close and open one more time, hoping the passport will spontaneously generate a new and fresh date, well within expirational limits.

Hyperventilation sets in just as you realize that passports aren't self correcting like Microsoft Word.

Would it be trite to say my life flashed before my eyes? I visualized my mother melting down because I'd have to skip the trip she'd labored over for a full year, and who could blame her? I'm sure I must have done dumber things in my life, but so far I haven't been able to recall any other than the time I tried to cut my own hair.

I saved her a lot of trouble because I immediately turned on myself much more effectively than anyone else ever could.

So. Tune in next time for part two of "How Scatterbrained Are You?"

My Daughter The Blogger

Cleo's blog, The Big Hannah Montana Fan,  is still in business and she becomes a stronger writer and storyteller every week.  I still offer plenty of suggestions for possible blog posts -- eek! I'm training my kid to be one of those people who spills tomato sauce all down her front and then shouts: "This will make a great blog post!" -- but the words and thoughts are her own.  Today she whizzed through a new book a friend had lent her, and then she posted a book review on her blog.  Take a look at what she wrote, and then look for The Penderwicks and The Penderwicks on Gardam Street.  Both books involve the kind of intelligent and capable female characters mothers of girls want their daughters to read.

Do You Know How Hard It Is

to blog when two kids are hanging from your belt taking turns insisting Mom ... MOM ... MOM!!! ?

Well, okay -- you probably do.  And this is why I've been blogging so intermittently lately.

Well, take heart my loyal readers, all two million of you.  This week I'm leaving town so I won't be blogging at all.

Until my return I've made arrangements to repost three of my favorite posts from last year, about what happens when someone with bubbles in the brain attempts to leave the country.  Find them here, here and here.

Someone Thinks I'm "Wildly Talented"

According to Nessa, who's hanging out at her Place, I'm wildly talented.  Now, I don't know much about wildly talented, but I can assure you that I am certainly wildly complimented, and I may have some trouble getting to sleep tonight due to my accolade-induced swelled head.

Ducks with Ducktails! Who Knew?

Found this at Henson's Hell, and if it doesn't make you smile then you're having a really bad day.

The Winner Of The FeeFiFoto Summer Fame Contest

 

So I run this Fame Contest at the start of every new season and the winner gets to have a favorite photo pictured on a favorite item from FeeFiFoto and displayed on our home page until the next contest's winner is announced. This season's winner, Chatbug Karen sent me one of the funniest photos I've seen in a long time, along with its companion shot and an explanation:

"[T]hat picture was taken about 30 years ago. Hubby and I had traveled to Canada to go fishing with his Boss and Boss's wife. I like to fish and was very proud to have caught this nice Northern Pike fish. (We actually caught a huge Muskie that still holds the record at the camp we stayed at on the Georgian Bay.) Anyway, I was holding the fish when it started to slip out of my hands. I should send you the picture before this one so you can show the progression of my expression."

Karen opted to have her photo displayed on a totebag so we put her photos on our Mia Cameron microfiber totes, although a canvas tote might be more handy for carrying fish.

Can you carry fish in a canvas tote bag?

Amazing Dad Stars In His Own Superhero Movie

 

For Sweet Talker's third birthday he received a video depicting Barney (yes, that Barney) planning a party in his honor; the role of Sweet Talker was played by a two-dimensional cartoon body featuring Sweet Talker's smiling face. The animation was primitive -- well, in fact it wasn't even animation at all, since nothing moved. You know how the characters move laterally on South Park? This video didn't even have that level of sophistication.

Fast forward to ten years later: Sweet Talker's preparing for his bar mitzvah musical extravaganza featuring a cast of thousands; South Park is still on the air but now the characters move somewhat diagonally; and the latest generation of personalized video DVD is available at FeeFiFoto. You just have to see it because it's so corny that it's adorable.  In fact, the Amazing Dad movie was featured on The View this morning and they raved about it.

We're carrying them now and there's still time to order and receive for Father's Day. By the way, there's also a Christmas DVD, and in case you haven't checked in lately, you have a mere 201 days before the present ripping open begins.

Look! Look!

I just wrote and published my first-ever guest post, about the benefits of using images in your blogging.  Read me at keithgoodrum.com and then leave me a comment and tell me what you thought.  Be kind -- I cry easily.

We've Got A Winner

Image from Improvemyteam.com

Do you see yourself in these words?  If so, you're the winner of the FeeFiFoto Summer 2008 Fame Contest:

"We have seen many contests here on the big Internet and I have even won once or twice. Now there is a fun contest where you get some value when you win. FeeFiFoto is having a Fame Contest and the winner of this contest will have one favorite photograph incorporated into a landing page on FeeFiFoto. Many readers have her blog in their favorites so that will be a great prize. It is easy to enter her contest. Choose the item that you would like your photo displayed on and then leave a comment on the blog. It can’t be easier than that! Have fun."

Announcing the winner of the FeeFiFoto Summer 2008 Fame Contest: Chatbug Karen, come on down! Yay Karen!  You did it!  We knew that you could.  Karen, send me a photo file in jpeg format and I'll let you know when your graphic is up on FeeFiFoto's home page.

Visit FeeFiFoto to decide which item you'd like to see your photo on.