More about my June 2007 relaxing vacation.
Sadly appropriate graphic from Savage Chickens
After clearing my calendar to allow myself ample time to quake violently for approximately the next 48 years hours, I converted to crisis mode. Luckily, when you come from a family where everyone wants to be boss, your DNA is wired to allow you to multitask expedited disaster management and bitter self castigation.
I researched emergency passport renewal online and called the State Department's toll free number. Strangely, the recording complained about the high volume of calls, ordered me to call back later, and hung up. Seven times.
Automatic redial. Yippee.
I finally made contact with a recording instructing me to wait, wait, wait, wait, promising someone might possibly happen along sooner or later if they didn't hang up on me first. During my forty-five minute musical hold endurance test (lucky me -- my cordless headphone lets me wander freely) I heaved luggage and clothes at each other in case I managed to secure a valid passport before the entire family left without me.
Meanwhile I floundered from web page to web page, debating the merits of hiring one of those passport expediting companies versus flying to Chicago for the day. Naturally all this was happening on a Sunday; the private companies were closed so I'd have squandered an entire day before even being able to speak to them and attempt to persuade them to help me out even though I'm an idiot. I switched my focus to traveling to the Federal Building in Chicago and handling it myself. So, while on my second forty-five minute telephone marathon to confirm exactly what documents I'd need to bring because I didn't trust what the first person had told me, I arranged quickie reservations on Southwest for the next day (I love Southwest Airlines: they're respectful, helpful and easy to work with. Every time I fly Southwest I wonder why I don't fly Southwest every time).
Then I twitched the rest of the day and most of the night, in preparation for the bonus round of my unfortunate and totally self-inflicted adventure.
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