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Selling stuff on Ebay

Do you give your kids an allowance?  I have the allowance free-for-all discussion with my kids every few months, and it always ends the same way: I'm not giving you free money just because you exist, even though I love you more than anything.  Here's what I wrote in January 2008:

"Instead of offering a pointless allowance, whenever my kids whine for one (or even worse, compensation for good grades) I remind them that I won't pay just for the pleasure of their company but I will pay for an honest day's (okay -- quarter hour's) work. Vacuum the car -- get paid. Mop the floor -- get paid. Rake leaves -- get paid. Load the dishwasher -- get bupkes (I'm not crazy -- why should I have to do all the housework?)"

Robey hasn't completely accepted my policy, which is why the issue rears its ugly head periodically, but at least for the moment he understands that I have no intention of throwing money at him so he can waste it on Nintendo sneakers or Nike software or whatever.  So, after we all spent a couple of hours last weekend mucking out the basement, he claimed some Halloween decorations and listed them on Ebay.  Taking out of consideration the facts that I paid for them originally and I'll be responsible for packing and mailing them, he hopes to clear a pocketful of change to blow on more whatevers.  He's listed a skeleton that talks and sings, and three plush Halloween characters.

 

Please.  Do the kid a favor and check out his auctions.  Thanks.

Wordless Wednesday

In case you can't make it out, it says: "My next license plate will be made by Bush & Cheney."

Goodie! I'm A Top Pick For Guy Gifts.

Karen from A Blog Of Goodies has featured FeeFiFoto as a Top Pick for personalized gifts. 

Karen's featuring a Photo Personalized Clipboard from FeeFiFoto as a great gift for guys.  Imagine proud dad, brother or uncle, coaching dear daughter's or son's soccer team, carrying the day's lineup on a clipboard personalized with a photo of the team.

I'm also donating a Snowflake Photo Ornament (okay, the one in the photo is a heart -- we have both):

and a Canvas Tote Bag:

to ABOG's October Giveaway Carnival, so make sure to visit ABOG and sign up when the giveaway is officially announced.

Fall Fame Contest Winner

The winner of the Fall Fame Contest, Sharon at The Artist's Muse, has achieved her three months of fame!  Look for her picture on a photo throw on the home page of FeeFiFoto all through autumn.  Yay Sharon!  You're a winner! Here's a sample:

Sharon's photo is being shown on a 54"x70" 100% cotton jacquard throw.  The image is actually woven into the throw. Great as a wall hanging, or as a warm blanket for the couch

You can also put your photo on a wall hanging or throw pillow.  Perfect for the cold weather we all know is coming.  And remember -- it's not too early to shop for Christmas.

October's Full Of Strange Holidays

Order personalized photo calendars from FeeFiFoto as outstanding Christmas gifts, but make your calendars even more personal with the addition of peculiar dates.

October's much more than Halloween.  In fact, we might refer to October as National Comedian Month; we have two Stooges and two Marx Brothers.  Let's tabulate them, shall we?

Oh, and by the way -- you may recall that I published a similar post once a long, long time ago -- but this is new and improved, with great dates like Cranky Co-Workers Day

1
World Vegetarian Day
Magic Circles Day
International Day of Older Persons
Vladimir Horowitz, v. 1903

2
National Diversity Day
World Smile Day
Name Your Car Day

In a fit of creativity while reading Paradise Lost in college, I named my first car "Beelzebub"

Bud Abbott, b. 1895
Groucho Marx, b. 1890

Two for one

3
Virus Appreciation Day
Alternative Fuel Day

4
Ten-Four Day

Come on -- you saw this one coming, didn't you?

National Golf Day
Buster Keaton, b. 1895
Damon Runyon, b. 1884

I think Buster Keaton qualifies as a comedian

5
National Storytelling Festival
World Teachers Day
Larry Fine, b. 1902

Larry Fine?  Definitely a comedian

6
German-American Day
Mad Hatter Day
Come and Take It Day

7
National Frappe Day

8
American Tag Day

9
John Lennon, b. 1940
Moldy Cheese Day
Leif Erickson Day

10
National Angel Food Cake Day
Ed Wood, b. 1924
Giuseppe Verdi, b. 1813

Ed Wood?  Maybe an unintentional comedian

11
It's My Party Day
Eleanor Roosevelt, b. 1884

12
International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day

How should we express frustration the other 364 days of the year?

13
National Peanut Festival
L. L. Bean, b. 1872

Some of L.L. Bean's merchandise is kind of funny

14
Be Bald and Free Day
International Top Spinning Day
National Dessert Day
William Penn, b. 1644

15
White Cane Safety Day

National Grouch Day

Why is he so grouchy?  I wouldn't be grouchy if I had my own day.

16
Dictionary Day
Oscar Wilde, b. 1854
Noah Webster, b. 1758

Oscar Wilde?  Certainly a great wit.

17
Gaudy Day
International Day for the Eradication of Poverty

18
No Beard Day
National Chocolate Cupcake Day

19
Evaluate Your Life Day

20
National Brandied Fruit Day
Christopher Wren, b. 1632

21
Babbling Day
Alfred Nobel, b. 1833

22
National Nut Day
Curly Howard, b. 1903

Curley was a nut -- Nyuk nyuk nyuk

 

23
National Mole Day
Gummo Marx, b. 1893

Related to comedians -- that's Gummo on the bottom

24
National Bologna Day

25
Punk For A Day Day
Minnie Pearl, b. 1912

Country comedian

26
Mule Day
Mahalia Jackson, b. 1911

27
Cranky Co-workers Day

Wait -- cranky co-workers get their own day and Oscar the Grouch gets his own day?  I must be doing something wrong...

Sylvia Plath Day
Theodore Roosevelt, b. 1858

Nothing funny about Sylvia Plath.  Or Teddy Roosevelt for that matter.

28
Plush Animal Lover's Day
National Chocolate Day
Jonas Salk, b. 1914

29
Hermit Day

30
National Candy Corn Day
Haunted Refrigerator Night
Fyodor Dostoevsky, b. 1821
John Adams, b. 1735

Why isn't Candy Corn Day tomorrow?

31
National Knock-Knock Jokes Day
National Magic Day
Increase Your Psychic Powers Day
Jan Vermeer, b. 1632

Photo Hunters: View

This is a VIEW of the London Eye.

This is the VIEW from a car of the London Eye.

What's the London Eye?  I'm so happy you asked since I happen to have some information right here in my purse.  Let me see if I can find it... hold on a second.  Here it... wait, that's not it.  Hmmm -- I know it's in here somewhere... deposit slip... claim check -- whoa, I really need to pick up the dry cleaning.  Wait  -- okay -- here it is.

The London Eye is the largest observation wheel in the world, not to be confused with a Ferris wheel; there are some key structural differences between the two, including the fact that Ferris wheel cars are open and the Eye's cars are glass-enclosed capsules.

If the weather's clear in London (in your fantasy world), you can see up to 25 miles in any direction from the Eye, even as far away as Windsor, where the Queen lives when she's not living at one of her eleventy other castles, palaces or estates.

The wheel makes a revolution approximately every 30 minutes, which would add up to 17,520 revolutions per year if it turned all day every day, which would be more revolutions than even CNN could cover.

Each capsule holds about 25 people, which is considerably more than the capsules in the Gateway Arch, and therefore less claustrophobic.

Now for a bonus: Anyone who EMAILS ME with the correct answer to the following question will receive a coupon for a dozen free Greeting Cards from my retail site, FeeFiFoto.  Here's my email address:  smile AT feefifoto DOT com.

Here's the question:

What's the name of the structure in the second photo above, and what's the name of the attached tower?

See more of my photo hunts.

 

See more Photo Hunters

Bar Mitzvah News: The Location Has Been Chosen

Looking for a Bar Mitzvah party location

Before Curley even had a chance to step up to the plate, Robey decided that the Unusual Museum would be acceptable for his coming-of-age fest.  His conversion ended up coming after lots of persuasion and silent treatment easily, and only six months since I began running the idea up the flagpole every day.  He and Cleo consulted with the Cool (or is it Hot?) Former Babysitter, who told them that her high school had held a prom there, and any place that was suitable for a high school prom was good with Robey.

I'll save Curley's influence for another day.

In other news, I interviewed and selected a photographer who I think will be perfect.  His work is creative and fun, and the albums are full of funky digital collages.

Who says planning a Bar Mitzvah is hard?  Piece of cake.  I have everything under control

Don't I?

Read more about the fits and starts of our Bar Mitzvah planning:

Our First Site Visit
Location, Location, Whatever
Update on Bar Mitzvah Plans
Would Somebody Please Take my Mother to Lunch?
Planning a Party Two Years In Advance

If I'd Been Named By The Republican VP Nominee ...

My name would be Steam Fangs Palin.  Here's the pertinent name generator.

 I'd be in good company, as I'd share this distinguished name with:

The Political Fancier

Blog de Ford

Herbivoreable, via Post Punk Kitchen

Robespierre would be Spine Breeder Palin, and Cleo would be Strangle Thicket Palin.

How about you?

Thanks to Soccer Mom Files for the referral.

 

I'm Verklempt

Love letter from my daughter

This is what I found in Cleo's locker Tuesday night during the school Open House:

"Dear Mom,

    I don't know about you, but so far I like third grade.  A lot.  Everything is great.  Don't you think?  I am very excited to learn new things.  The only sad part is, I miss my teachers from 2nd grade.  Am I going to let a bump in the road get me down?  No.  Why? Because we are already learning and having fun.  I have a feeling an awesome year is coming.  Can't you feel it?

                Your best and only daughter ever,

                Cleo."

Where did this kid come from?

Visit Cleopatra-Queen-Of-The-Nile at her blog, The Big Hannah Montana Fan.

Wordless Wednesday: If You Did Have Words You'd Have A Colossal Pile Of Paper On Which To Write Them

Thanks to Freaky Frugalite for pointing this out. These are the same guys who made the marvelous video of the Mentos and Diet Coke.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Definitely Not A Soccer Mom

Amber Johnson, of the Mile High Mamas, has experienced the epiphany of becoming a Soccer Mom:

"Last weekend, I became a soccer mom for the first time. I am in the camp that loves sports. I have always loved sports. And I have always wanted my children to love sports. That said, I do not believe children should be pushed into activities they do not want to do. I believe in giving them a choice.

Unless that choice does not involve soccer."

Cleo's "playing" soccer.  What this really means is that she's on the team with her friends, scuttling back and forth, exulting when someone else makes a good move, and skipping down the field because skipping is way more fun than walking or running.  She wears the school-issued uniform which, sadly, does not have her favorite number on the back, and the white socks with the green stripe that Robespierre used last year for baseball.  She wants the black knee socks like some of the other players have; she insists that the black is a required part of her uniform and Coach won't let her play without them.  She also insists that black socks will fit much better and certainly not itch her legs like the white ones do, even through her shin guards.  Many of her teammates have real soccer cleats; Cleo's shoes are white and pink sneakers.

Robespierre played baseball last year.  He's pretty good; he has a great arm and a great eye.  I bought him the cool batting helmet and baseball cleats.  Last year he won his Black Belt in Tae Kwon Doe; I bought him the full uniform and sewed on every single patch by hand.

Cleo's in the Children's Choir.  She wears a uniform of black pants and tuxedo shirt; all the kids look like little waiters.  They practice hard, they work hard, they perform beautifully and professionally.  She loves choir and feels special when they rehearse and perform. I enjoy attending her choir concerts; once a year they perform in our city's symphony hall before a sold out audience. 

Soccer games?  Meh.  If one's rained out, I don't care.  If she doesn't have the black socks, I'm not too bothered.  She's only playing to have fun with her friends, and when they get better at soccer or basketball and she stays the same, she'll lose interest in being on the team.  I resist shelling out for the appurtenances when I know she cares more about the socializing than the competition.

I'm not your stereotypical Soccer Mom.

Can I be the Culture Mom instead?

What Do You Know About Halloween?

Isn't it remarkable how many notable discoveries originate in accidents and luck?  Look at penicillin, Velcro, microwave ovens, Silly Putty.  Seriously, how did someone discover you could eat an artichoke?  It's delicious, but man! what a battle it is to break into one.  Why even bother?  And by the way, Linda -- thanks for teaching me how.

In any case, even though it's nearly 80 degrees today, Halloween is just around the corner.  The stores are full of candy and decorations and costumes; I've heard that Halloween is our country's second biggest shopping holiday after Christmas.

As I've mentioned previously, my home decor is dedicated to my kids' artwork and mementos.  My most unusual mementos/artworks, are each child's first Jack O'Lantern, which I freeze dried.  It might sound peculiar but actually it was ridiculously simple although, admittedly, inadvertent.  After my son's first Halloween I couldn't stand throwing away that cute little pumpkin with his lopsided smile, so I popped it in the freezer and forgot about it.  Nine months later I found it to be almost entirely freeze dried; I did the same thing for my daughter's first pumpkin, and they both occupy a place of honor in the dining room.

Want to know how it really works?  Take a look:

• Place carved miniature pumpkin in a frost free freezer.  Leave it there, undisturbed for 6 to 9 MONTHS, until it's firm and dry when you remove it from the freezer.
• Preheat an oven to 200 degrees, place the pumpkin inside, turn the oven off and leave the pumpkin in the oven overnight.  The residual heat will dry out any last bits of moisture.
• Remove the pumpkin from the oven and sprinkle in a bit of cinnamon or four whole cloves.

My son's pumpkin is 11 years old and counting, and still in the same condition as when I made it.

Most of us have heard of the pagan origins of the Halloween:

From History.com

Celtic Origins

Halloween's origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in).

The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago in [parts of] the United Kingdom and France, celebrated their new year on November 1. This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of ... winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth ... 

To commemorate the event, Druids built huge sacred bonfires ... During the celebration, the Celts wore costumes, typically consisting of animal heads and skins ... 

The Romans Take Over

By A.D. 43, Romans had conquered the majority of Celtic territory. In the course of the four hundred years that they ruled the Celtic lands, two festivals of Roman origin were combined with the traditional Celtic celebration of Samhain.

The first was Feralia, a day in late October when the Romans traditionally commemorated the passing of the dead. The second was a day to honor Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruit and trees...

And The Christians Take Over From The Romans

In the seventh century, Pope Boniface IV designated November 1 All Saints' Day, a time to honor saints and martyrs. It is widely believed today that the pope was attempting to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a related, but church-sanctioned holiday. The celebration was also called All-hallows or All-hallowmas (from Middle English Alholowmesse meaning All Saints' Day) and the night before it, the night of Samhain, began to be called All-hallows Eve and, eventually, Halloween.

But were you aware of the following modern day Halloween statistics?

Statistics for Halloween 2006 (unless otherwise noted), courtesy of Community Dispatch.com:

• 36.1 million:  The estimated number of potential trick-or-treaters (children 5 to 13) across the United States.
• 1 billion pounds:  Total production of major pumpkin-producing states. Illinois led the country by producing 492 million pounds, followed by California, Ohio and Pennsylvania, each of which produced at least 100 million pounds.
• $101 million: The value of all pumpkins produced by major pumpkin-producing states.
• 1,198: Number of U.S. manufacturing establishments that produced chocolate and cocoa products in 2005, employing 38,718 people and shipping $13.6 billion worth of goods. California led the nation in the number of chocolate and cocoa manufacturing establishments, with 128, followed by Pennsylvania, with 121.
• 477: Number of U.S. establishments that manufactured nonchocolate confectionary products in 2005. These establishments employed 21,389 people and shipped $7.6 billion worth of goods that year. California also led the nation in this category, with 73 establishments.
• 26:  pounds per capita consumption of candy by Americans.
• 2,232:  Number of costume rental and formal wear establishments across the nation in 2005.

What do we do with all those pumpkins?

Why, carve them into Jack O'Lanterns, of course.  Ever wondered how that tradition got started?   According to Pumpkin Nook, the Irish brought the tradition of carving vegetables to America:

"As the story goes, Stingy Jack was a miserable, old drunk who liked to play tricks on everyone: family, friends, his mother and even the Devil himself. One day, he tricked the Devil into climbing up an apple tree. Once the Devil climbed up the apple tree, Stingy Jack hurriedly placed crosses around the trunk of the tree. The Devil was then unable to get down the tree. Stingy Jack made the Devil promise him not to take his soul when he died. Once the devil promised not to take his soul, Stingy Jack removed the crosses and let the Devil down.

Many years later, when Jack finally died, he went to the pearly gates of Heaven and was told by Saint Peter that he was too mean and too cruel and had led a miserable and worthless life on earth. He was not allowed to enter heaven. He then went down to Hell and the Devil. The Devil kept his promise and would not allow him to enter Hell. Now Jack was scared and had nowhere to go but to wander about forever in the darkness between heaven and hell. He asked the Devil how he could leave as there was no light. The Devil tossed him an ember from the flames of Hell to help him light his way. Jack placed the ember in a hollowed out Turnip, one of his favorite foods which he always carried around with him whenever he could steal one. For that day onward, Stingy Jack roamed the earth without a resting place, lighting his way as he went with his "Jack O'Lantern"."

Want to learn how to make extraordinary Jack O'Lanterns?

Take a look at these actual unretouched pumpkins from The Pumpkin Wizard:

 

 

 

Would freeze drying work for any of these elaborate artworks?

I have no idea.  You'd need an awful lot of freezer space.  If anyone tries it, let me know.

It Took A Year

We finally finished the last Harry Potter book on CD.  We started listening to them about a year ago, checking out tapes or CDs from the library.  The tapes were more difficult to manipulate because I could never figure out which direction they were supposed to be facing in the player so I had to keep searching for the spot where we'd left off because I cheated as soon as the kids got out of the car.  The collection runs somewhere around 125 hours on 109 discs, so we scored a lot of non-arguing drive time.  The narration is spectacular, as I'd always heard.

Anyway -- still breathing here, still burned out on blogging, but hoping to feel more loquacious soon.

I Love My Readers And Usually I Think Only Of Their Needs

But today's post is all about my needs.  You see, I know that, as of yesterday, more than five million of you had viewed this video.  I know that in less than a week it's made its way to hundreds, even thousands of blogs.  I know you don't need to come here to view it.  I'm posting it for myself, because years from now, decades from now, I want to be able to know exactly where to find it.  So talk amongst yourselves and visit me later for another post that's all about you, because today's is all about me.

Oh, and by the way -- I can see Russia from my house.

When You're Bored ...

Create a post that will entertain your readers and keep them coming back until you have something interesting to say.

For example:

 

Courtesy of King Kaufman at Salon, comes today's useless waste of time enlightening endeavor: Barack Paper Scissors.  If you feel powerless in the face of the 2008 election (correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't we been mulling this election since 2006?) alleviate your frustration through a rousing game of RPS.  I like the way Dubya stomps his feet in frustration after losing a throw (it appears that he throws only Rock), and Robey just handily beat Mahmoud Ahmadinejad; sadly, Hillary Clinton beat the pants off of him in the third round, but I think it was because Bill was in the background saying distracting things like "Close, but no cigar."  The last two rounds are against Arnold Schwarzenegger and McCain.

Come on people.  We simply MUST elect Obama, if for no other reason than how much fun it is to play with his name.

In case you can't get enough of Rock, Paper, Scissors, you can catch up on the 2008 International Rock Paper Scissors Championship, which was held in Beijing during the Summer Olympics.

I swear I have not made any of this up.  Enjoy.

The Winner Of The Fame Contest

Congratulations Sharon Hart at The Artist's Muse! You've won something way better than an Olympic gold medal, since a gold medal couldn't possibly go with your outfit every day, so there will always be some days when you'll just have to leave it in the jewelry box and opt for the pearls instead.  As winner of the FeeFiFoto Fame Contest you'll get to admire your photo incorporated into a graphic and prominently displayed on the home page of FeeFiFoto for the next three months.

Sharon: send me a jpeg of a photo you'd like to see on the FeeFiFoto home page, and also tell me what gift item you'd like to see it displayed on.  

Yay Sharon!

Sad Day

Yesterday was a sad day in FeeFiFotoVille.  First, we got news that Daisy the Curly Cat's beloved sister, Pixie, died after a long battle with feline hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.  We've never met Daisy or her mom, who writes so eloquently and amusingly about her adventures, but Cleo and I check Daisy's blog first thing every morning to coo over her latest exploits, and Daisy recently honored me with a guest post.  Cleo was especially sad to hear of Daisy's loss.

Later we heard that one of the mothers at Cleo's school, (formerly also Robey's school), had died in an accident.  Robey had been in class with her children since kindergarten and we'd seen her every day, walking her kids into class and working on innumerable volunteer activities that helped the school run smoothly.

I pride myself on offering my kids as much independence as I believe they can handle.  They know how to cook, do laundry, and grocery shop. But I don't kid myself that their relative independence would be enough to help them apply to middle schools, navigate the social and academic scene, or cope with impending puberty without my help.  I'm so sad for these children and their father, who now have to make their way without the guidance of a woman who gave their lives organization and logic.

Update On Bar Mitzvah Plans

Election Standings prior to yesterday:

In favor of the Astonishingly Unusual Museum in an abandoned warehouse:

Me*
Curley**
Stretch
Sweet Talker

*It was my idea. Of course I think it's a good one.
**Always envious supportive of my superior creativity, she endorses my daring.

Opposed to the Astonishingly Unusual Museum:

Schpilkes+
Robespierre++

+What do you mean you don't want to hold it at the country club!? Who's ever heard of a Bar Mitzvah party not being held at a country club?!
++Yeah, what she said!! What about my reputation?

Undecided on the issue of the Astonishingly Unusual Museum:

Cleo~
The Man From D.A.D.~~
Click
Artypants

~What's in it for me?
~~Whatever you want, honey.  I trust your judgment.

On The Campaign Trail:

The candidates advocates met yesterday at the museum for the first in a series of smackdowns debates on the issues facing voters. The participants were:

Me: an experienced AUM visitor and supporter with a long track record of enjoying the unique characteristics of this urban museum constructed entirely from recycled materials

Schpilkes: a newcomer to the scene who never had a passport before last year had never previously visited the AUM to which she was so vociferously opposed, apparently on principle

The Debate:

The parties met at the museum entrance, which buzzes with the activities of patrons as well as the excitement of enormous dragons, serpents and tunnels constructed out of everything from recycled tile to rebar.  They passed by walls built out of abandoned stainless steel restaurant containers, floors made out of recycled bricks, and windows made from recycled glass blocks.  Making their way to the third floor party hall, they saw a bar rescued from a condemned hotel, complete with parquet flooring; a maze built of intricate terra cotta tiles, columns, mouldings, pilasters, lions, eagles and gargoyles; and 8 foot diameter barge propellers functioning as room dividers.

The Resolution:

Schpilkes took one look at the wealth of antique doors, stained glass, statues and architectural details and asked: Where do we sign?

The Next Step:

Persuading Robespierre that having a Bar Mitzvah party at the Astonishingly Unusual Museum will not condemn his reputation to the dustbin of history.  Now it's time for Curley, the Spinmeister, to step up to the plate, with support from Stretch and Sweet Talker.

Kindred Spirits

Wonder if Malia Obama and Cleopatra might be related?

Remember to enter FeeFiFoto's Fall Fame Contest. The winner's name will be drawn on September 15. Good luck!

Wordless Wednesday: Got Soup?

Got more soup?