School auctions sure are annoying exciting, aren't they?
Raise your hand if your kids' school conducts fund raisers.
Say Aye if your kids you sell any or all of the following: pizzas, candy, coupon books, cookies, donuts, bagels, BLTs, gift wrap, raffle tickets, candles, cookies, nuclear armaments or personalized clothing.
Clap your hands if your school engages in walkathons, phonathons, bikathons, book fairs or craft shows.
Now, stand up if you enjoy any of these activities.
I thought so.
Our school's main fund raiser, aside from the persistent polite reminders to pledge to the annual giving campaign, is a biannual auction, where we raise XX dollars to benefit the blah blah fund (do you think I actually pay attention to these things?)
In previous years, when I couldn't hide quickly enough cheerfully agreed to share the burden, my jobs varied from begging for requesting auction items from stores, restaurants, salons, artists and anyone else who couldn't outrun me; to requesting visits to the zoo, or private singing lessons or birthday parties coordinated by teachers and school administrators. The teacher part was actually fun, since the school staff knows you're coming so you don't have to chase them. My favorite staff auction item was the chance to be a roadie at the annual Halloween KISS concert hosted by teachers in full regalia. You haven't lived until you've seen gym teachers and math teachers lip sync to "I Wanna Rock And Roll All Night ... And Go To School Every Day."
This year I'm a room parent, so like it or not I'm obligated to help with the auction. Each class creates an art project that's auctioned off to the parents who've been nagged most mercilessly by their adorable offspring highest bidder. We've seen mosaic concrete garden benches, quilts, French screens decoupaged with photos of classmates, and even a huge and hideous paper mache dragon, which actually sold, oh yes it did. Wonder where it is now?
My third grade room parent team likes to refer to ourselves as "The Whatever Room Mothers." Whatever we do has to be easy, simple and uncomplicated. No elaborate party decorations for us, uh uh; the kids don't care and why waste the time, money and effort decorating the classrooms? So when it came time to think of a class project for the auction, our theme was "As long as I don't have to do anything, whatever you pick will be fine with me."
Tune in tomorrow to find out how I solved the problem. Singlehandedly. Because I'm that kind of activist mom.
