FeeFiFoto Blog

The Kindness Of Strangers: Kind Customer Service

Yesterday my father experienced chest pains while exercising; his cardiologist scheduled him for an angiogram this morning.

We've been through this before.  There's nothing easy about it but that's not the focus of this post.  Turns out The Man From D.A.D. is fine; we all inhaled and exhaled a deeeeeep cleansing breath, and Sweet Talker's Bar Mitzvah is taking place as scheduled, although my father is prohibited from his customary stab at the Electric Slide.

No, this story is about the kindness of the guy who made my lunch today.

I stopped by Panera Bread to pick up soup and sandwiches for five of us who were waiting, impatient and unraveled, at the hospital.  The guy taking my order greeted me in German for no apparent reason; then he began reading my list upside down, mentioning which muffins they didn't have and suggesting alternatives.  I complimented his sense of humor and he goofily declared that his goal was my happiness.  I replied that I could use some cheering up because my father was heading into heart surgery.

His aspect transformed immediately.  All silliness gone, he made sure everything I needed made it into the shopping bag.  (Is this the first time I've walked out of Panera with everything I ordered?  Quite possibly.)  Before handing over the bag he threw in an extra scone just for me, and wished my father the best.

Michael:  Thanks.  You helped make my day.

Wordless Wednesday: How Does She Manage To Sleep So Soundly...

...with all the noise made by her choice of pajamas?

PS: Like the chic haircut? Me too.

Wordless Wednesday: Do You See Anything Wrong With This Picture?

Once More, With Feeling: Holding A Rerun Thanksgiving

My nephew, Stretch, spent the past semester at a strict foreign boarding school, in a sort of Junior Year Abroad program for high school students.  The boys had to wear coat and tie whenever they left campus to go to town; computers and cell phones were prohibited.  (Hey, it wasn't so bad -- they went hiking every day until it snowed and then they skied every day.)

The students were allowed to call home once a week, and Stretch was diligent, calling his parents every week, my parents every other week, and our house three times.  In one conversation with Schpilkes he mentioned his unhappiness with missing Thanksgiving, and asked that we have another Thanksgiving dinner after he came home.  Schpilkes, whose motto is and always has been "Anything for a grandchild," declared that November's festivity was to be only a dry run for the REAL Thanksgiving in Stretch's honor in December.

So.  Today we're recreating Thanksgiving.  Real turkey and stuffing.  Real desserts.  Real china and tablecloths.  Real guests.  Stretch wanted a full blown Thanksgiving, exactly like the one we had a month ago, all alone, without him.

Robey, who can't leave well enough alone, pointed out that, if it were to be EXACTLY like the original, Stretch wouldn't be there. 

At this point my brain turned inside out like a salted snail, so I need to lie down.

By the way -- this isn't the first time we've fudged on Thanksgiving.  Once when I was in college our vacation schedules didn't coincide, so we had Thanksgiving on Friday instead of Thursday.  This change in scheduling resulted in the discovery of one of the most effective methods of telemarketer eradication I've ever seen: convincing them that you're crazy.  You see, a telemarketer called during dinner and Schpilkes, never the most patient bulb on the porch, bellowed into the phone: "Why are you calling us?!?!  Don't you know we're havingThanksgiving dinner?!?1?

Bette Davis's Eyes Had Nothing On Cleopatra's: Choosing Eyeglasses For A Child

Found out a few days ago that Cleo might need glasses.  She'd been complaining that she couldn't read clocks so I took her to the pediatrician and they recommended she see an eye doctor.  The earliest appointment I could get was January 2; we have a strict family policy of needing medical attention or appliance repairs primarily during holiday weekends, so the Christmas season is the Holy Grail of inconvenience for us.  In fact, we've hit the inconvenience trifecta this time, since January 2 is also smack dab in the middle of Sweet Talker's Bar Mitzvah Weekend Musical Extravaganza.  We've already chosen three frame candidates so we can zip down the street between Bar Mitzvah festivities to order the specs if she in fact needs them.

I'm sad.  I always supposed my kids would need glasses; I wear them, as does every member of my family, so it seemed inevitable.  But Cleo!  Cleo has THE. MOST. GORGEOUS. hazel eyes I've ever seen, the exact color of gingerbread cookies.  They're irresistible and it's a good thing she's not on the Dark Side, since she can charm me into doing practically anything she wants just by turning those big browns in my direction.  And now those stunning golden masterpieces will be hidden behind spectacles.

Sigh.

This Makes Me Feel Optimistic: "Stand By Me" Video

My dear friend Sam sent me this (Hi Sam! Thanks! Have a happy and healthy new year!)
 

Why does music seem to transcend disagreement? Is it because harmony is stronger than dissonance?

Thursday Thirteen: Things I Look Forward To Every Week, Month or Year

1. The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.  The owners and handlers may be divas but the participants are so joyful, how could you not clear a space in your calendar for two nights every February and bask in their glow?
2. New Yorker Magazine.  I love a magazine that devotes pages to a description of how live lobsters are shipped through the UPS hub in Kentucky, while working in an explanation of the manufacturing and shipping of Louisville Slugger bats to professional baseball players.
3. Maureen Dowd.
4. Metropolitan Diary, because of stories like this one:
   

   "Dear Diary:

   Arriving at work in Midtown a few months ago just before 9 a.m., I glimpsed a man walking uptown on Fifth Avenue. He was neatly dressed in a business suit, walking briskly, carrying a large cup from Starbucks in his left hand. Nothing special about this.

   But under his right arm? A huge live, clucking rooster. No one gave him a second look. Only in New York. (Perhaps that was the breakfast special of the day?) Beth G. Kneller"

5. Going to sleep at night.
6. Bossy -- keeping it real.  Real silly. 
7. Posts by Daisy the Curly Cat, Cleopatra's (and my) faithful blog correspondent.
8. The beginning of vacation.
9. The beginning of school.
10. Massages.
11. Cranberries.  It's not that I'm that devoted to eating them; I just like what they represent.
12. Package deliveries, except for prescription renewals because zzzzzzzz.
13. The Saturday New York Times crossword puzzle, because it's the hardest.

Oh Mr. Bean -- I Love You: Christmas Videos

Thursday Thirteen: Don't Do Any Of These Things

• Flush "flushable" wipes.  Yeah -- they say they are, but they're not, not really.  They don't decompose and they clog up the pipes and then the plumber has to come out and snake out the pipes and it's costly and ugly, and just don't.

• Throw chunks of meat down the garbage disposal.  Remember not throwing in celery because the strings will tangle the disposer?  Meat works the same way, and this type of clog always seems to happen at 10:30 pm when you're just about ready to go to bed but you decide to finish up the last of those dishes so you can wake up in the morning to a tidy kitchen so you throw the last questionable leftover food down the sink and run the disposer and then spend the next two hours cranking that little unclogging thing under the machine and sticking your hand down the sink hoping the disposal doesn't spontaneously turn itself on and induct you into the "Sound of One Hand Clapping Society", and then bailing out as much water as you can get and squishing it into a bucket and finally going to bed and lying awake for another hour seething with the frustration of having tried something you knew had no possibility of turning out well, so just don't.

• Leave the house without going to the bathroom.  Yeah, this is a Mommy Mantra where the kids are concerned, but you can't expect to make it through the afternoon traffic without hitting every single red light and merging school bus just because you thought you might make it, so just don't.

• Eat a chocolate covered banana an hour before bed time.  Sure, your psyche insists and swears on a stack of psyche bibles that this time you absolutely, without a doubt will fall asleep just before your head hits the pillow and will not lie awake for 90 minutes twitching and replaying the entire sound track of "Mamma Mia!" over and over again in your head and revisiting your 75 most embarrassing moments from junior high to the present day, but you know that your psyche has never been reliable in the past when it wants chocolate, so just don't.

• Try to lift a full sized television or computer monitor into the car without assistance.  Your back will ache for a week, so just don't.

• Mix that last bit of liquid dish soap with the last dregs of dishwasher liquid.  Yes, both substances are intended to clean dirty dishes, but their conflicting chemical makeup requires that if you pour that last squish of Palmolive into the half empty Cascade bottle and then replace the child proof cap, before too long you'll observe that the Cascade container seems to be swelling and you'll figure it's your imagination and then you'll look back at it and know beyond doubt that it's swelling and you'll pick up the bottle to examine it and find that whatever's happening inside has caused the bottle to heat up alarmingly so you'll remove the child proof cap and the caustic soup that's been building up pressure for the last thirty minutes will shoot out of the bottle like a geyser and scare the living daylights out of you, so don't.

• While we're on the subject of Cascade, don't allow your sister's moronic cocker spaniel to sniff and lick the detergent after it's been added to the dishwasher; she'll become violently ill and you'll have to clean up after her, so don't.

• Wash a cucumber with soap.  Yes, I know it's oily because they spray that oily stuff on it to make it look more delicious, but don't use soap to wash it off because no matter how relentlessly you try to convince yourself otherwise, you'll taste traces of soap in every bite, even after you've peeled the cucumber and smothered it in ranch dressing, so don't.

• Give in to a child's request to "share" your ice cream; it's not possible, they don't share, you won't get any, so don't.

• Peel, slice or otherwise manipulate jalapeno peppers and then attempt to touch your eye any time in the ensuing two days.  This rule applies only to those who a) wear contact lenses or b) find it necessary to routinely stick their fingers in their eyes, so for all of you, and you know who you are -- don't.  For everyone else -- peel, slice or otherwise manipulate to your hearts' content.

• Leave your cell phone on the edge of the table while you're having a pedicure.  Twice.  Cell phones don't recover from major dunkage in soapy water, so just don't.

• Put your purse on the back of a chair in a coffee shop and then try to sit down without first confirming that your chair is still technically vertical or else you'll be left struggling to determine if your wrenched back is worse than the astronomical embarrassment of falling on the floor, so just don't.

• Try to walk home with the dog from the car dealership that's at least three miles away on a chilly day wrapped in down coat, sweatshirt and long underwear along a very busy road that has no shoulder, because you'll get hot and sweaty and dizzy and have to take off most of your clothing and carry it as you wrestle to keep the dog out of traffic and not get hit by a school bus, so don't.

Not that I've ever experienced any of these things, but if you want you can read more about my klutziness.

Wordless Wednesday: Get Ready Because Chanukah Is Imminent

Wordless Wednesday: Even I Can Tolerate This One

 

To Do List: 100 Things About Me Meme

I saw this on Lynn's blog and, while I usually don't do memes because I find it hard to believe that anyone could be that interested in me, I like Lynn and her blog very much, so I'm linking to her out of admiration for her and her adorable Puggle with the big brown eyes and kissable brown nose.

1. Started your own blog. Duh.
2. Slept under the stars. Yeah.  At night, in a bed.  I think there are stars out there somewhere.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to a charity. Always.
7. Been to Disneyland. Many times.  It's the Happiest Place on Earth, isn't it?
8. Climbed a mountain.  Partly.  A very small mountain.  It was hot.  I had to quit at the halfway point.
9. Held a praying mantis. No, but lots of grasshoppers.
10. Sang a solo. Only to my kids when they were too young to beg me to stop.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris. Ooh, yes.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.  Cooking?  Yeah, that's an art.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France. She's only as big as a piece of looseleaf paper.
20. Slept on an overnight train. The kids and I traveled from San Diego to Seattle a few years ago.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch-hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. Nope -- I'm too honest guilt-motivated.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse. Indirectly.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run. No, but I was almost hit by a foul ball once at Yankee Stadium.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language. Umm -- blogging?
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant. I bought a couple kids ice cream at Baskin Robbins once.  Does that count?
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visted the Great Wall of China. And climbed it.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a marial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies. Not very effectively, though.  It's a good thing Girl Scout cookies sell themselves, because I was the kind of kid who'd ask prospective customers: "You don't want to buy any Girl Scout cookies, do you?"
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp.
67. Bounced a check. Who, me?
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.  Not lately, though.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox.
89. Saved someone’s life. I've had to do the Heimlich maneuver on my niece and Robespierre.
90. Sat on a jury. Mock jury while I was in law school but not a real one.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
98. Owned a cell phone. How old is this quiz?
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

B-B-B-Blue Christmas

Thanks to the Deep Friar for jogging my memory on this one:

Creating A Memento Of A Family Vacation: Personalized Photo Book

Remember our trip to London?
Kids!  What Are You Gonna Do?
Now Accepting Applications For The Position Of Grandchild
Teachable Moment
Her Dead Father
Jet Lag + Muscle Relaxers = ZZZZZ

Cleo and I made up a photo album of our trip.

Now.  Here comes what some might regard as shameless flogging of our photo gift site, FeeFiFoto.  If you're not interested in a bit of flogging salesmanship, then feel free to move along, but do come back and visit us tomorrow.

We made a real, hard bound book commemorating our trip, containing 100 pages and somewhere between 100 and infinity photographs of Cleo, me, Schpilkes, The Man From D.A.D., various famous London locations, antiquities, food, the occasional celebrity, and a Rolls Royce, but mostly Cleo.

We had our choice of page backgrounds but decided to go with this lavendery marbly look on each page instead of coordinating each set of photos with a different background.  We don't do too well with choices; we aren't fond of Chinese menus for the same reason.  In fact we almost always order the same thing in any Chinese restaurant just so we won't have to make a decision.

We had the option of adding a caption beneath or above every photo; this page's caption reads: "What?  More luggage?"

We also had the option of placing up to four photographs on each page.  These two pages show some views of our hotel, including the condiments on the breakfast table.

Here's the only celebrity of whom we got a picture.  We also saw Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister, and Oprah-and-Gayle.  And a few others.  Nelson Mandela was definitely the most exciting.

The book is a fantastic memento of our trip.  Because we were able to add captions in the photo upload process instead of having to write them out or place them by hand, we were able to be humorous and creative in captioning without encountering caption-fatigue, writer's cramp or the frustration of having to change ink color in midstream because the dog had eaten our favorite purple pen.  In fact, we had a choice of about 20 fonts in graduating sizes and an unlimited assortment of font colors.  We went with a swirly font in purple for every caption because, see above: Chinese menus.

Because the process is digital we were able to make identical books for us and the grandparents.  The books were printed and shipped in less than a week.

I made the same sort of book last year to commemorate Robey's black belt test.

A Note To Our New President

Dear President-Elect Obama:

This young man wants to interview you.  He presents himself professionally and intelligently.  Please consider meeting with him.  Remember -- it's always good to have the press on your side.

Thanks to Jeanne Sager at Strollerderby

Nutcracker, Rockettes -- Same Thing: Kids Get Confused Sometimes

Cleopatra and I saw the Rockettes this morning.  Actually we thought we were going to see the Nutcracker Ballet but the Sugar Plum Fairy et al. turned out to be a gaggle of Rockettes.  About six weeks ago we invited Cleo's friend and the friend's mother to see the ballet with us; the mother emailed back that they were already going with the older sister's sixth grade girl scout troop, and invited us to come along.  We gladly agreed and she ordered tickets for us.  When the tickets arrived I was like: "Ruh roh..." and Cleo was like: "Rockettes?  What are those?" I assured her she'd love them and have the best time ever and besides she could sit next to her friend and giggle at the gaggle.

Turns out there was some Nutcracker involvement.  One of the skits constituted a mini-version of the ballet with the dancers dressed in furry teddy bear costumes.  The Russian dancers were brown bears with thick eyebrows and stern visages.  The Chinese dancers were pandas.

Cleo wanted to know if the segment was sponsored by Build-A-Bear.

Photo Hunters: Favorite

This one was easy, although choosing among so many options was a bit challenging.  Here's one of my favorite photos of Robespierre, from Halloween when he was in third grade:

 This is one of those puffy costumes with the little fan inside that puffs it up like one of those awesome jumping castles.  Yellow's a good color for him, don't you think?

See more Photo Hunters here.

The Kids Don't Need To Hear My Opinions On Everything: Should We Shield Our Kids From Bad News?

Judith Warner, of the New York Times, has reminded me of something that seems so easy to forget:

"My daughter Emilie, who is 8, cannot get out of her head the story of the Wal-Mart worker who was trampled to death by frenzied shoppers in the early hours of Black Friday...

I’m not sure how Emilie heard about Damour. It might have been at school – where she learns, to my great regret, about events like 9/11 and the Holocaust. Or it might have been at the dinner table, where I fear I may have let my guard down the other night and vented my feelings after I read about his death.

“It’s the end of everything,” is the kind of thing that I just might have said.

I normally try very hard to shield my children from those kinds of feelings. I know I’m given to negativity – some might say, to hyperbole – and I’m aware that such expressions, however annoying to adults, can be toxic for young minds. But these are hyperbolic times. The glow of the election is fading. The economy is tanking. It really feels like the wolves are at the door. And so when a temp worker – the economy’s weakest link – is crushed under the weight of it all, it feels, well, like the epitome of everything. Or did to me.

I should have expressed myself better..."

I'm a whiner.  I'm a complainer.  I'm a talker.  I have a tough time keeping my thoughts to myself, and am remarkably skilled at airing my thoughts to exactly the wrong person.

I know intellectually that it's usually a good idea to think carefully before speaking.  Unfortunately, opinions sometimes travel from my heart to my mouth without making a visit to my brain, as I wish they would.  Most of the time the result is embarrassment for me, but nothing permanently scarring for which I'd have to wear a mask in public for the next decade. Sometimes the consequences are dire, such as when I open my mouth to the wrong person about the wrong issue and before I know it the horse is not only out of the barn but halfway across the pasture.  I'll never forget the snarky comment I made to a coworker about a sleazy-looking girl making her way toward us across the room, only to learn she was his wife.  Eek.

Come on -- you saw that one coming, didn't you?

This is an especially unfortunate situation in a home where I am the sole parent.  Although I have extremely supportive family and friends, I don't have another adult in the house to whom I can routinely vent about my issues and the kids' issues, so I bottle up my feelings and thoughts and opinions and occasionally let them bubble over in conversations with the kids.  If one of the kids is having trouble with a friend or a classmate, I desperately want to be nonjudgmental and circumspect, but frequently lose control and find myself venting to them about their friends.

As appealing as the concept may be, I can't allow my primary role as a parent to evolve into being my kids' best friend.  This would interfere with my ability to guide them and discipline them, and I'm the only one in the house who can do those things.  It's incumbent on me to hold my opinions of their friends and classmates, write about them, blog about them, complain about them to the checker at the supermarket, but not air them to my Cleo or Robey.

I'm working on it.  It's challenging.

Any suggestions?

Thursday Thirteen: The Season To Give

Is it worse this year?  I doubt it.  Every year I see stories about how the food banks are hurting, the homeless shelters are in trouble, donations are needed everywhere.  This year I seem to be seeking out more opportunities to give.  It makes me feel good, it sets a good example for my kids, and it helps someone.  So far:

• The sealed anonymous grocery bag filled with canned and packaged food that will go to some family in time for Christmas.
• The needy family adopted by Robespierre's sixth grade class.  He chose the fifteen-year-old boy who wanted a new pair of sneakers; we found Avia running shoes for half price at Sports Authority, and threw in three pairs of socks.
• The stuffed animal donations at Anthropologie for kids with cancer -- a furry brown horse with a fringy mane and tail.
• Ten dollars to the guys who stand out in freezing weather the Thursday morning before each Thanksgiving selling newspapers to raise money for children's charities.  Next year I swear I'll remember to take the paper so I can wave it out the window at all the other newspaper vendors on all the other street corners who appear concerned that I might not yet have participated.

 

• The Salvation Army bucket outside every grocery store.  Click the red button to make a donation to my bucket.  I get nothing out of it; I'm just making it convenient for you to give.
• The scholarship fund at Robespierre's summer camp in memory of the longtime camp director who passed away last month.
• The Macedonia Church of God In Christ, whose not even completed church building burned on election day.
• School supplies being collected and shipped to a town in Israel by Cleo's girls club.
• The book exchange Cleo and I are holding at our house this weekend.  Each guest will bring 10 books and select up to eight books brought by another guest; anything left over will go to charity.
• The extra dollar coupons at checkout at Petsmart, the grocery store, even Domino's Pizza online.

• The Heroes At Home Wish Registry sponsored by Sears.  Thanks to Karen at The Pond for pointing this out.  More than 31,000 military families are registered, most with at least one family member deployed this holiday season.  The touching part is that, as so often happens, family members requesting gift cards never seem to ask for anything for themselves, but always for someone else.
• Cleo's school book fair, where we'll donate books to every teacher she and Robey have ever had.
• A pound of coffee at Starbucks to be sent to soldiers in Iraq.

More on charitable giving: Giving

This Counts As A Wordless Wednesday, Since These Are Not MY Words: Christmas Quizzes

You Know a Lot About Christmas

You got 8/10 correct You know tons about the history and traditions surrounding Christmas. When you celebrate the holidays, you never forget their true meaning - or all the little fun details. Random Christmas fact: The average mall Santa is 5'9, 218 lbs, and 52 years old. The average waist size is 43 inches.

How Much Do You Know About Christmas?

You Are a Practical Gift Giver

Your gifts are useful, appropriate, and custom tailored to each person. In your opinion, the best gifts are gifts that someone will actually use. Your gifts may not be the most glamourous, but they are always appreciated.

What Kind of Gift Giver Are You?

You Are the Furthest Thing From A Grinch

You love and live for the holidays. You even love the Grinch! You're in the holiday spirit year round... because you're all about celebrating and giving.

Are You a Grinch?

Your Holiday Personality is Hyper

Any holiday activity is well suited to you - as long as you keep moving. Shop everywhere and anywhere. Create your own holiday cards. Make everyone on a your list a custom stocking of goodies!

How Should You Spend the Holidays?