FeeFiFoto Blog

Photo Hunters: Thankful

This one was easy.  I'm thankful my kids have grandparents living nearby so they can get cuddles whenever they need them.  I wish my grandparents had been able to know my kids because I'm convinced my father's mother would have worshipped Cleo and my mother's father would have adored Robey.

PhotoHunt

Adventures In Dry Cleaning: "No Ticky, No Washy," She Said

I went to the dry cleaners today to pick up a dress.  I knew exactly where to find the ticket: safe at home next to the telephone.  No problem -- give them your phone number and they look up your account.

The lady (Chinese, by the way) handed me the dress with a smile, and said: "No ticky no washy."  Then she grinned and said: "You ever hear that saying? 'No ticky no washy?'  My husband is Chinese and he's from New York and many dry cleaners in New York are owned by Chinese people.  He told me a long time ago they used to say that if you didn't have your ticket." 

I just gaped at her, terrified that my ADD-rooted inability to read social signals scuttled my chance of responding appropriately.  Of course I'd heard "no ticky no washy" before; my grandmother used to joke about it.  But how was I supposed to respond?  Was it okay for her to talk about it but not me?  Could I laugh with her?  Should I admit to having heard the phrase before?  If I joked about it would I be seen as whatever the anti-Chinese version of anti-Semite is?

I took a prolonged mental pause and then told her I'd hoped she'd give me the laundry if I just gave her my most winning smile.

What would you have said?

Where Have All My Readers Gone?

Yesterday I was up to 51.  Today I'm at 19.  And now, this evening, I'm back to 51.

Whoops -- 19 again.  Wish I were 19 again.

No I don't.  I just wish I looked 19 again.  Yeah, that's it.  Without the bad perm.

I think my blog might be possessed by the devil.

Thursday Thirteen: Things I'd Rather Make From Scratch Than Buy

1. Soup -- chicken, beef barley, butternut squash, roasted turkey.
2. Pancakes.  Actually, I'd rather my mother make them, because hers are sooo good.
3. Waffles -- Okay, I use a mix, but it's whole wheat with only flour, corn meal and leavening.  I do the rest.
4. Popcorn for movies.
5. Corn bread.
6. Pizza.  Not that my kids will eat it; they want Domino's.
7. Chocolate pudding.  I don't actually do this, except for the chocolate meringue pie filling.
8. Bread crumbs.  I know I'm treading on thin ice here, nerdly-wise, but hear me out: once in a while I harvest the last bits of crackers, cereal and pretzels and throw them in the food processor with some spices.  It takes five minutes and uses up leftovers.
9. French toast, made with leftover challah.  Yum!
10. Hot chocolate.  My kids are really good at this; they add vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, maybe a little mint.  I throw a dash of instant coffee in mine.
11. Cookies.  Okay, I'm making that one up.  I'd buy Oreos any day.
12. Valentines.
13. Pottery.

Don't forget to enter the Fame giveaway.  The winner gets fame and a $10 gift certificate.

Wordless Wednesday, Stream Of Consciousness Style: Remember "Went With The Wind"?

I posted this photo:

Image from Yahoo!

...which I labeled with this caption:

I'll nevah go hungry again.

My kids said:

What the devil does that mean?

::Snicker::

Some bloggers like to highlight the Google searches that bring them readers.  I'm looking at the Google Adsense ads that are matched up with my posts.  For example, when I wrote about the differences between monkeys and apes, Google placed this ad:

Watch the Castrol Edge ® Grease Monkeys Super Bowl Commercial Now!

Monkeys and Apes... Grease Monkeys.  Yeah, that's a match.

Snarking: My Take On Oscar Fashions

Miley Cyrus looked like a Christmas tree.

Beyonce looked like a vase.

Will Obama's Stimulus Package Boost The Fashion Industry?

The title of the Spring 2009 New York Times Style Magazine is "A Stimulus Package," as in "Please please please spend some or all of your stimulus money on fashions.  Please?  Pretty please?  Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease?"

As a recovering shopaholic (I know, I can't believe it either) in a, shall we say, precarious economy, I feel limited ambition to buy anything, especially the Gainfranco Ferre PVC platform (thanks Imelda):

or the Dior Fertility Fetish heels (thanks Shoebuy):

Enter The Fame Contest

Sticky -- please scroll down

Graphic from Transform Destiny

I'm sweetening the pot.  The winner of this contest will also receive a $10 gift certificate for a personalized photo gift item from FeeFiFoto.

You are getting very sleeeepy.  You will enter the FeeFiFoto Fame Contest.

A Contest Unlike Anything You've Ever Seen

It's time once again for the FeeFiFoto Fame Contest.

You've seen contests to win beauty supplies. You've seen contests to win baby supplies. You've seen contests to win computer supplies. Now for something completely different:

Enter this contest to win FAME.

The winner of this contest will have one favorite photograph incorporated into a landing page on FeeFiFoto. Just visit FeeFiFoto, cruise around as long as you like, then come back here and leave me a comment about which item you'd like to see your photo on. (Okay, I know that was ungrammatical, but sometimes you just have to use a preposition to end a sentence with. Oh no! I did it again!)

Anyway.

I'll draw one name at random on March 10th. Once the winner has emailed the photo to me, I'll put it on a graphic on the FeeFiFoto home page.

Come on.  The Academy Awards are tonight.  Grab your own piece of Oscar-caliber fame.

Photo Hunters: Warm

Remember when the weather was warm enough to do things like this?

Yeah, me neither.

See more Photo Hunters here.

PhotoHunt

What's The Difference Between Monkeys And Apes?

Check into Google Hot Trends for a moment and look for links to this week's unfortunate incident involving a pet chimp.  As of Wednesday, you'd find in the top 100 listings:

10. chimpanzee attack
11. chimp attack
17. monkey attack
27. chimp 911 call
36. Travis the chimp
60. chimp kills woman
75. Travis the monkey, and
95. Travis the chimpanzee

Now, aside from the disturbing fact that so much of the internet population seems to be extravagantly interested in an unfortunate attack by an unfortunately domesticated ape on an unfortunate woman, I must point out that one of my pet (no pun intended) peeves appears in this list more than once.

A chimp is an ape.  A chimp is not a monkey.  Apes are not monkeys; nor are monkeys apes.  While apes and monkeys are all primates, apes and monkeys are different.

Thursday Thirteen: Always

1.    I always bring popcorn and drinks when I take Robey and Cleo to the movies.  I carry it in a large black tote bag.  We've only been caught once, when an actual grownup was taking tickets.  He made us leave our stash in the car.

2.    I always remember the anniversary of Paul Revere's ride.

3.    I always used to go shopping on Black Friday, back when I had time, energy and ambition but not much sense.

4.    I always kiss my kids good night before I go to bed and tuck the blankets around them.  It's the perfect time to steal kisses without being yelled at.

5.    I always forget people's names.  I wish everyone had a Times Square-style zipper running across their forehead that would spell out : "Here's who I am and here's how you know me..."

Wordless Wednesday: What's Wrong With This Picture?

Photo from OMG at Yahoo

This is Angelina Jolie.  She's pretty.  But there's something wrong with this photo of her.  Can you find it?

Give up?  I'll tell you what's wrong. 

It's not that Angelina Jolie doesn't look breathtaking in this dress.  She does.

It's not that the adoptive mother of three and the biological mother of three more has no business looking so fabulous.  Well, actually she doesn't, but that's not the point.

The problem with this picture is that the hand she's holding belongs (presumably) to Brad Pitt, the owner of another of the most magnificent faces in the universe, and he's been EDITED OUT.

That's what's wrong with this picture.

Where do I file my complaint?

Is There Mail On Presidents' Day?

Chez FeeFiFotoville the question is really whether there is mail on any day.  Let's review:

Cleo and I were in New York last weekend, so I put a vacation hold on our mail.

Check.

We came back on Sunday and a big pile of mail was delivered on Monday.

Check.

On Tuesday, we got nothing.

FeeFiFoto Fame Contest: You'll Be As Famous As That Woman With The Octuplets, Minus The Hate Mail

A Contest Unlike Anything You've Ever Seen

It's time once again for the FeeFiFoto Fame Contest.

You've seen contests to win beauty supplies. You've seen contests to win baby supplies. You've seen contests to win computer supplies. Now for something completely different:

Enter this contest to win FAME.

You'll be as famous as Octuplet Mom, but without all the controversy.

The winner of this contest will have one favorite photograph incorporated into a landing page on FeeFiFoto. Just visit FeeFiFoto, cruise around as long as you like, then come back here and leave me a comment about which item you'd like to see your photo on.  No actual prize will be given -- just the right to see your photo on the home page of my website throughout spring.

Photo Hunters: Nautical

This is about as close as we get to nautical: each of my kids built one of these from a kit.  Now we know how they get those ships in those bottles, but we're not telling.  If you want to know, get your own kit!

See more Photo Hunters here.

PhotoHunt

Bar Mitzvah Debriefing

Why, thanks for asking. 

The Bar Mitzvah and party were grand without grandiosity.  Spending the day with one of my favorite people and her family was a pleasure. 

And the Bar Mitzvah boy?  Well, my invitation to Jon Stewart's Bar Mitzvah got lost in the mail, but I'd bet his was somewhat like the one Cleo and I attended last week.  BMB was the center of attention, he knew it, and he milked it for every laugh he could get.  He emoted his Torah portion like an opera singer and at one point he broke into a song from Fiddler on the Roof. 

Funny?  Yes.  Goofy?  A little.  Yet, it wasn't the least bit ridiculous -- more playful and joyful, which is how a Bar Mitzvah should be.

Hello? Tech Support?

On one hand...

It took a week, plus three hours on the phone today, to cajole my All-In-One printer/scanner to communicate with my laptop.  The process included:

• Half a dozen online chat sessions with various HP customer service representatives
• No fewer than 4 (four) software download/uninstall/reinstall sessions
• The disabling of all firewalls and defenses
• Being hung up on (accidentally, but still annoyingly) twice, and
• Two 1.5 hour phone conversations with today's tech support rep (Rusty?  Rudy?  Whozie Poozie?) who took control of the laptop and fixed everything step by step

On the other hand...

I have this nifty cordless headset that allows me to wander around the house and yard unencumbered while carrying on a telephone conversation, thus while Rusty/Rudy/Whozie Poozie was lurking around my computer I:

• made and ate lunch
• tidied my office
• did some dishes, and
• took out the recycling

If he hadn't been in control of my computer I probably would have dropped 300 Entrecards too.

Sometimes I Wonder How Smart She Really Is...: The Things Kids Say

Remember our trip to London, when Cleo and I saw a performance of The Sound of Music and encountered a slight misunderstanding about the meaning of the phrase "her dead father" ?

On this trip we saw a performance of Mary Poppins on Broadway.  Now, on Amazon the book Mary Poppins, by P. L. Travers, ranks 13,914th in popularity.  By contrast, the 25th anniversary DVD of the Disney film ranks at #73 among movies.  Quite a difference.  The Tale of Despereaux comes in at #867 in books, while the various books in the Twilight Saga appear at places 2, 3, 6 and 12.

So it's safe to say that not too many kids or adults are reading the original Mary Poppins books, and that our main impression of the famous nanny everyone wants to employ, even though she never gives references and makes it a practice never to explain anything, comes from the work of Walt Disney and Julie Andrews.  Therefore, any characters who appear in the books but not the movie are going to seem foreign to much of the theater audience.  So I was preparing to answer obscure questions from Cleo regarding unfamiliar characters and events, although she should have been nearly as well informed as I was, since she read a couple of the books last year.

But I wasn't prepared for this.

Buh Bye

Cleo and I are heading to New York for four days, to attend the Bar Mitzvah of the son of my oldest and dearest friend, visit with Artypants, and do some sightseeing.  We might check in; we might not.  Who knows?  In any case, take care of yourselves and we'll see you when we get back.