We Didn't Get The Memo: Vacation Is Supposed to Include Relaxation

Vacation: a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess or holiday.

    Dictionary.com

Here's how we spent Monday, the first full day off school for the summer:

• Drop the pups off at day care for a bath, fluff and nail trim.
• Dentist appointment for the kids.  Cupcake's allowed to eat again at 10:15, so she holds my cell phone and announces the passing of each minute and second until precisely then.
• Bank deposit: boring
• Bed, Bath, Kitchen, Back-to-School and Plastic-Stuff-by-the-Register Store: Blankets for Cupcake to take to camp
• Military Surplus Store: We buy everything you could imagine might be useful or lustworthy for a nine-year-old and a 12-year-old to bring to a month of summer camp, including sleeping bag thingies, hiking socks, folding chair thingies, backpacks, wetpacks, and even freeze dried ice cream, because everyone has to try it once even though it reminds one of chewing Styrofoam.  We gingerly give a wide berth to guns; enormous and toothy knives; dead animal innards-taker-outers; and various devices intended to help you relieve yourself and then hide the evidence in the wilderness.  Robespierre insists he needs a backpack with a built in drinking pouch, so he won't strain himself by turning around to grab a water bottle while hiking or canoeing.

Image here

For all I know he's totally scamming me, but since I don't camp I have little choice other than to go along with whatever he says he MUST have.  Some of these things I know we've bought before; when I ask why we're buying them again I get varying answers:

• "I lost it."  Translation: It's not cool
• "I never had one."  Translation: I did but it wasn't cool
• "I broke it."  Translation: It's not cool
• "The old one's not good enough."  Translation: It's not cool
• "I outgrew it."  Translation: Well, actually this one's probably true

Are you keeping track?

• LUNCH BREAK
• Mart The Size Of a Mall : We buy soap, shampoo, toothpaste (but not toothbrushes, thank goodness, since we got those from the dentist and think of all the money we've saved because toothbrushes sure are costly.  Yeehah.)  Oh, and at last, something for me: Worchestershire Sauce!
• They Call It A Club So You'll Feel Like You're Part Of An Exclusive Group: Industrial size laundry detergent and industrial size fruit snacks
• SNACK TIME: Snow cones to protect us from brain damage while driving around town in 96^o heat.

Are we there yet?

• Grocery Store: We return the Famous Major League Baseball Team throw rug that turned Robespierre's feet and bathroom floor red after one use, causing him mental anguish that he'd die of lead poisoning because the rug was made in China.
• Big Deal Camping and Sporting Store: We pick up incomprehensibly costly hiking boots for Robey, who now wears adult sized shoes, and isn't that appalling simply marvelous?  Cupcake still fits into the way less expensive youth sizes, which makes her my favorite child.
• Yet Another Superstore to pick up stationery for Cupcake (Robespierre intends to use notebook paper sealed with duct tape), since the stationery she used last year came from here, and therefore there could not possibly be any place on the planet with better note cards.
• Doggie Day Care so as to close the loop and pick up Miss Puppy and Little Miss, shorn and manicured for the summer.

And here's the aftermath:

I swear it was nearly empty when we set out at 9:00 a.m.

Comments

[laneerg]

Wow! It sure does sound like you had a relaxing start to your kid's summer vacation. It can only get better from here, right? :)

[Maureen]

Yikes! I swear I work less at work than I do at home... but don't tell my boss that.

[feefifoto]

Laneerg: Well, actually today was nearly as bad, since I had to run to a few places we missed on Monday and now we're deeply entrenched in packing all the stuff we bought. In addition, we're going on a family trip before the kids leave for camp, so we have to get ready for that too.

Maureen: Me too, but I think it's because I'm on call at home 24 hours a day.