Some kids are chess masters. Some excel at skateboarding, music, basketball or writing.
My kids are World Class Nosebleeders.
There are clear advantages to being the parent of an experienced nosebleeder. Such as...
for example...
ummm...
Wait! I know!
If someone you're with has a nosebleed, you'll know exactly what to do.
Ta da!
A few years ago I had their noses cauterized. I had to; our carpets gave the impression that our hobby was axe murdering. Both have had to have the procedure repeated, and Cupcake more than once. I try to remember to have them slosh Vaseline in their noses, with "try" being the operative word.
So we're on a plane to Rome two weeks ago. The flight is long, the plane cramped and inhospitable. Five hours into the flight, Cupcake sneezes.
Sneezing in our family is almost never a positive experience, especially when it occurs on a plane. When Robey was six months old we were traveling and he was wearing THE cutest outfit in the history of infant couture: sky blue and white checked flannel overalls, and a shirt printed with hobby horses, brand new.
Just after taking a bite of mushed carrots, he let loose an epic sneeze.
Bye bye hobby horses. Bye bye sky blue checked flannel.
And then we have the nosebleeds.
Bet you know what's coming, don't you?
Have you ever heard anyone call out for a doctor in a public place? It never happens, does it? It's a myth, a tool for advancing the action in movies and television shows.
It happened on our plane.
It came from me.
I'm such a cliche.
Cupcake and I crammed into one of those tiny airplane loos, and I stuffed dripping tissues into the trash while trying to listen to a handsome young Italian doctor and an American military medic; they gave me plastic tweezers from the plane's first aid kit and explained how to pack her nose if the bleeding continued.
What a great way to endear ourselves to our fellow travelers (as if it weren't enough that I was still coughing helplessly. "Really," I assured anyone within earshot, "it's just an allergy"). After thirty minutes, I finally got her nose to stop bleeding.
We arrived in Rome and exited the plane, to the evident relief of the entire flight crew and all the passengers.
We checked in to our hotel and took pictures and blah blah spent the day and ate lunch and took more pictures and ate dinner and blah blah more pictures and went back to the hotel to get ready for bed. Cupcake hugged my father and he accidentally bonked her in the nose and whoops! Off again.
Like the story? There's more to come. Check back for the next installment in our story: "As The Nose Bleeds."
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