It's Bastille Day, And You Know What That Means: Time To Update The About Page

Image here.

In case you're confused, there's really no connection between Bastille Day and updating my About page. I'm just messin' witcha.

I have, however, updated my About page, and here are some highlights:

I'm a recovering attorney with two kids, two dogs, a gift site called FeeFiFoto (duh), and very little free time on my hands.

1. I'm really good at parallel parking.  Someone gave me a lesson when I got my first car and I've never forgotten how.  I could park a school bus if I had to.  As long as the bus had an automatic transmission.
2. I did fail parallel parking on the driver's test, however.  Both times.  But I can do it now, I swear.  I even give lessons.
3. I do know how to drive a standard transmission, just not one on a bus.
4. Do they even make school buses with standard transmissions any more?  It's been a very long time since I've ridden a school bus.  Since I get motion sickness even at the mention of a bus, I don't think I'm going to be finding out about the transmissions on school buses any time soon.

Something something spoons...

...

Something something blah blah weather...

I can complete the New York Times crossword puzzle, in ink, any day of the week.

I'm a Beatlemaniac.

I'm a serious chocoholic.  Ask about the chocolate stories sometime.

Blabber about hobbies...

...

I've never smoked a cigarette or taken drugs.  If you need someone who can honestly say that to your kids, call me.

I'm  definitely a Disney and not a Warner Brothers.

Boring information about my family...

I hated practicing law.  I spent most of my tenure slinking around the office clinging to a wall,  wearing beige to fade into the paint, staring at my feet in the hope of never making eye contact with anyone, especially my manic-depressive bipolar secretary, who might yell at me or demand I practice law, for which I clearly was not qualified.

I have math phobia, although unleash me in a roomful of typos and grammatical errors and I'm happy as a hog in a mud puddle.  I might even correct the typos in your comments if you're really nice.  I can't wait until my kids are old enough to handle the family's finances.

Exercise?  Excuse me while I hide...

What my dog ate...

Will somebody please clean up this mess?!...

I have beautiful blue eyes that turn greenish when I wear green, purplish when I wear purple, and turquoiseish when I wear turquoise.

Sports...

I've  been within spitting distance of the following celebrities; although I'm too polite to have spit at any of them there are some at whom I might have liked to spit:  Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, Eva Gabor*, Larry Hagman, Prince Philip, Shirley Jones*, Nelson Mandela, Neil Diamond, Oprah Winfrey, Joe Namath, Hugh Grant, Teri Garr, Joan Rivers, Lou Brock, August Busch II*, Itzhak Perlman*  (key: "*" indicates handshake or conversation).

More junk about my family...

I can see Russia from my house.

Why are you still here? Get out of here and go update your own About page. Scoot!

Comments

[Mette]

About your math phobia - ever heard about dyscalculia? It's "math dyslexia".

[Maureen]

"I can see Russia..."

Har! I think I've heard THAT one before....