FeeFiFoto Blog

Hallelujah -- Something Completely Different For Christmas

Many many thanks to Omidog! for posting this spectacular piece. I made my day year.

Will There Be Anything Left To Put In It After Paying For It?

Extravagant handbags

Really Burberry?  Seriously Neiman Marcus?  Do I really need a handbag trimmed with barbed wire?  For $1695, and no, that's not $16.95 but $1695.00.

I guess if I'm willing and able to spend nearly $1700 on a handbag I can spring for a few extra bucks here and there on cashmere sweater reweaving, leather coat reconditioning, and silk blouse patching, huh?

For gifts that are just as memorable and way less dangerous, visit FeeFiFoto and put favorite photos on microfiber totes, handbags or diaper bags.

Sweet Ride

Really, Neiman Marcus?  Do you really think I need a $25,000 cupcake that rolls along at a cool 7 MPH?

No thanks.  I already have the coolest Cupcake in town.

It's Beethoven's birthday!

Order Personalized Photo Calendars from FeeFiFoto and put your favorite cupcake's photo on every page.

Definitely Not A Bull's Eye: Target Let Me Down

Yoohoooo...  Target?  Hellooooo -- anybody home?  Are you paying attention?  Because it appears that you're not.

See, I visited one of your stores today to buy a whole bunch of stuff, including a gift card for a Bar Mitzvah, but all they had was this:

Or this:

 

Or this:

Or this:

 Images here, here, here, here, and here

Now, you tell me, Target, which of the above images would be suitable as a gift for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, or a new baby, new home, birthday, or congratulations?

I'm waiting.

Still waiting.

_____________________________________________________

I ended up here:

 

Shame on you, Target.

How Do You Spell "Excited"?

My kids are pretty smart.  And talented. 

No, really -- they're both geniuses, each destined to bring me home scads of awards, including but not limited to the Nobel prize each owes me for enduring unspeakably queasy pregnancies.

The latest evidence?  Cupcake has made it through the first round of her school's spelling bee.  She'll be one of four students representing the 4^th grade at the all-school (well, actually 4^th, 5^th and 6^th grades, since allowing the lower grades to compete would be time consuming and demoralizing, albeit hilarious) spelling bee.

She got in the car yesterday afternoon screaming, and for once the screaming had nothing to do with being hungry or hating homework or the unfairness of having to run laps in gym class.

She called various relatives to bask in the glow of their praise.  My favorite exchange was the text messaging between Cupcake and her incomparable cousin, Artypants:

Hi AP!  It's Cupcake.  Today we had our class spelling bee and guess who's going to the school spelling bee?  That's right.  Hope you're having a good day!!! :-)

And the following response:

Congratulashons thet's grate!

I'll be there on January 15^th, trying to keep my lips from moving as I spell each word along with her in my head.

PS: It's National Lemon Cupcake Day!!  It's all about the cupcakes.

Where Did You Get Those Shoes?!

Want crazy, funky shoes?  Make them yourself.

When the kid gets bored she flops from sofa to chair to floor, moaning.

I'm booooorrred.*  I hate everything.  There's nothing to do.  I've read everything. 

She hasn't. 

I don't have any friends. 

She's kidding herself. 

There's nothing on TV. 

Well, she's right about that last one.

Can I color my shoes?

The shoes arrived from Zappos in September, shiny white and scratch free.  Three months later they're still shiny white and scratch free because Cupcake doesn't like wearing sneakers so she puts them on before gym class and takes them off after gym class.

After three months of requests to Sharpie the shoes I relented for two main reasons:

1. The shoes weren't going to be with us much longer due to my kids' firm policy of accelerated clothing outgrowage, and
2. The persistent whining was threatening to give me brain damage.

An hour later she trotted into my room, where I'd fallen asleep on the floor while pretending to read a magazine been arranging my closets according to color, season, and ability to repel dog hair, and flaunted her handiwork (footiwork?):

 

Now she wears her sneakers every day.

Think they'll fit in a frame when she outgrows them?

*Spellcheck suggested boomeranged or bootstrapped.

Good grief!  Hope these pictures don't end up here.

Shake It

Thanks to my friend Jeff for leading me to this:

Too Many Books Might Be Similar To Too Much Chocolate: Unlikely, But Still Possible

Everywhere we look: books. 

Books in Cupcake's room, books in Robespierre's room, in my room, on the dining room table (which we don't use for meals because it's loaded with books), on the basement steps, in the bathrooms, on the kitchen counter and in every pocket and cranny in the car except the cup holders.  We even have books under the kitchen sink but those are phone books and nobody I know actually reads them (although I'd totally pay to hear James Earl Jones read the phone book).

I converted the kids' baby room into a library but the shelves filled up immediately and there were still more books underfoot.  I finally quit insisting that Cupcake move all the books out of the cabinets in her room and put them in the library because there simply wasn't any room left in the library.

I'm not complaining because books seem to add some insulation in cold weather. 

Okay, I am complaining.  We were beginning to look like hoarders.  Intellectual hoarders, yes, but hoarders nonetheless.

So Cupcake and I created the Book Exchange (patent pending). 

We invited all the girls in her grade to bring at least ten books they didn't want to read again, to trade for books they hadn't read.  As I'd suspected, we got a bunch of High School Musical, Rainbow Fairies, Nancy Drew, princesses and mean girls.  We also got Charlotte's Web, The Trumpet of the Swan, two copies of The Penderwicks, The Kid Who Became President, Because of Winn Dixie, books by Andrew Clements, Beverly Cleary, Dan Gutman (but no Harry Potter or Percy Jackson, because who could ever surrender those?).  Almost everything was snapped up quickly; we were left with a handful of orphans to donate to our school's book drive in December.

Entertainment?  Why yes, we did have entertainment.  In addition to hosting a group scuttle from the upstairs playroom to the downstairs playroom to her bedroom to the driveway for leaf sledding, Cupcake prepared a rather challenging quiz called: How Well Do You Know Your Books?

Anyone want to take a stab at it?  I'll give a $10 FeeFiFoto gift certificate to the first person to answer more than half of these questions correctly.

1. Name the 4 houses of Hogwarts and their founders
2. What’s another name for a pen?
3. Name the 4 members of the Mysterious Benedict Society
4. What is the name of Percy Jackson’s sword?
5. Do you like green eggs and ham?
6. What’s the name of the dog in the Phantom Tollbooth?
7. What book has a main character named “Wilbur”?
8. Was Stuart little?
9. Name as many pets as you can from all seven Harry Potter books (we found 16!)
10. What is the name of Rodrick Heffley’s band?
11. Who publishes The Quibbler?
12. What is Jasper's power?
13. Severus Snape: Good or evil?
14. Who is the author of School Story?
15. What does Skye Penderwick do to the cookies?
16. What’s the name of the Meanest Doll in the World?
17. Name the 3 Deathly Hallows
18. Luke Castellan: hero or villain?
19. Here's another riddikulus question: what is that spell from?
20. What is Charlotte’s web address?
21. Fill in the blanks: A ____________ ‘s a ____________ no matter how ________.
22. What language is Miss Perumal teaching Reynie?
23. What is your favorite book?

How well do you know Cupcake's favorite books?

December Already? Add Strange Dates To Personalized Calendars Just To See If Anyone's Paying Attention

Make personalized calendars even more personal with the addition of peculiar dates; here are some for December.

FeeFiFoto has been producing personalized photo calendars as a core part of our business since we were established. For the 2007 Christmas season we added a bunch of new templates, a thousand or so pieces of clip art, and the capacity to arrange photos in collages instead of being limited to a single photo per page. We've always had a feature that lets you enter your own family birthdays, anniversaries or special events.

Last year the kids and I designed calendars for our family, and in addition to the usual birthdays and anniversaries, we chose one day each month for a fictitious holiday just to see if anyone was paying attention. January 16 was Talk Like Pirates Day, February 24 was Walk Backwards Day, March 1 was Talk Really Fast Day, August 17 was Snowball Fight Day, and November 2 was Kiss Your Mom Day. We also acknowledged some legitimate holidays and anniversaries, like the Ides of March (March 15), Beethoven's Birthday (December 16) and the anniversary of Paul Revere's Ride (April 18). It was fun and silly.

Here are some silly, and real (supposedly) holidays you can add to photo calendars.

December

1
Eat a Read Apple Day
National Pie Day
Mary Martin, b. 1913

I thought Pi Day was in March.

2
National Fritters Day
Charles Ringling, b. 1863
Georges Seurat, b. 1859

3
National Roof Over Your Head Day

4
Wear Brown Shoes Day
Francisco Franco, b. 1892

It's my understanding that Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

5
National Sacher Torte Day
George Armstrong Custer, b. 1839

6
Gazpacho Day
National Mitten Tree Day
Ira Gerswhin, b. 1896
Agnes Moorehead, b. 1906

7
Cotton Candy Day
Harry Chapin, b. 1942

8
Take It In The Ear Day
Mary Queen of Scots, b. 1542

9
National Pastry Day
Margaret Hamilton, b. 1902

We seem to have a witch theme in December...

10
Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales

11
National Noodle Ring Day
Fiorello LaGuardia, b. 1882

A bit odd of his parents to name him after an airport, don't you agree?

12
National Ding-A-Ling Day

13
Ice Cream Day
Violins Day

14
National Bouillabaisse Day
Nostradamus, b. 1503

Kind of witchy, no?

15
National Lemon Cupcake Day

16
National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
Ludwig van Beethoven, b. 1770

17
National Maple Syrup Day
Underdog Day

18
National Roast Suckling Pig Day

19
Oatmeal Muffin Day

20
Games Day
Harvey Firestone, b. 1868

21
Look at the Bright Side Day
National Flashlight Day
Hamburger Day
Frank Zappa, b. 1940

22
National Date-Nut Bread Day
Connie Mack, b. 1862

23
Roots Day

24
National Egg Nog Day
Ava Gardner, b. 1922

25
National Pumpkin Pie Day
Sir Isaac Newton, b. 1642
Conrad Hilton, b. 1887
Cab Calloway, b. 1907

26
National Whiners Day

27
National Fruitcake Day
Louis Pasteur, b. 1822

28
Card Playing Day
National Chocolate Day

29
Pepper Pot Day
Charles Goodyear, b. 1800

I prefer Michelins

30
National Bicarbonate of Soda Day
Festival of Enormous Changes at the Last Minute
Rudyard Kipling, b. 1865

31
Unlucky Day
Henri Matisse, b. 1869