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Posted on February 27, 2010 at 07:26 PM in Food, Kids | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: baking, chocolate cupcakes, cooking, kids
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Where have I been? Well, do you see that counter down there? Look down -- it's on the right near the bottom. See the thing that says "106 blah blah blah Bar Mitzvah"? I've been focusing on that stuff. For the past week I've been creating a video containing several million photos of Robespierre; eventually it'll also contain video clips, music, credits. And it's going just swimmingly because I am a professional and talented filmmaker.
Oh. Wait. No I'm not.
Back to work.
Enter my Fame Contest!!
Posted on February 25, 2010 at 09:46 PM in Bar Mitzvah | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: bar mitzvah, bar mitzvah video, fame contest
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A Contest Unlike Anything You've Ever Seen
It's time once again for the FeeFiFoto Fame Contest.
You've seen contests to win candy bars. You've seen contests to win mismatched socks. You've seen contests to win cookies and treats. Now for something completely different:
Enter this contest to win FAME. And a gift certificate.
You'll be as famous as Sadie the Scottie, and who knows -- you might even appear on The Today Show.
The winner of this contest will have one favorite photograph incorporated into a landing page on FeeFiFoto. Just visit FeeFiFoto, cruise around as long as you like, then come back here and leave me a comment about which item you'd like to see with your photo on the home page of my website. Plus, the winner of this contest will receive a $10 gift certificate for a personalized photo gift item from FeeFiFoto.
I'll draw one name at random on February 28th. Once the winner has emailed the photo to me, I'll put it on a graphic on the FeeFiFoto home page.
You can feature family, pets, kids' artwork or artistic shots -- your choice. A black and white photo of your house on a porcelain plate would be lovely. Once your photo is up on the site, far-flung friends and family can tune in and shout to each other: "Honey! Come quickly! Little John/ Paul/ George/ Ringo is in an advertisement! Well lock me in an ice cream store and throw away the key!"
Last year's winner was JC from Castleruins, who chose to have her photo displayed on a Wooden Cherry Colored Box with Tile Inset. The image is printed permanently on a ceramic tile, which is inset into the box's lid. Great as a wedding gift or Mother's Day present.
See your favorite faces featured on beautiful jewelry boxes from FeeFiFoto. Want something funkier? Choose to have your photo displayed on a wooden puzzle.
Any. Where. You. Choose. Visit FeeFiFoto and tell me what you where you want to see your picture. It's all about YOU.
A few simple guidelines:
Good luck everybody!
Read more about the FeeFiFoto Fame Contest.
Posted on February 17, 2010 at 01:45 PM in Fame Contest, FeeFiFoto, Gift Ideas, Giveaway, Personalized Photo Gifts | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: FeeFifoto Fame contest, Giveaway, Mother's Day, personalized photo gifts, personalized photo jewelry box, personalized porcelain plate, personalized wooden keepsake box, Sadie the Scottie, wedding gift, Westminster Kennel Club
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Posted on February 12, 2010 at 07:04 PM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: fail blog, little black dress
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The car. Is four years old. It's been hit more than once ::coughsistercough::. The windshield has two dings. One headlight bulb was replaced a month ago and the other was replaced last week. The seats and floor mats have endured the insults of snow, slush, salt, and Pepsi.
The car is not a Porsche.
Someday, Porsche. Someday you will be mine mine mine -- and no one under the age of 30 will be allowed inside. Nor will pretzels, chips, granola, raisins, wet shoes, wet dogs, or wet beverages. Someday, if it survives, the car will be passed on to a Boy Who Has Received His Driver's License. That will be the day my license goes into the shredder, except for when I feel like taking my tomato-red Porsche out for a drive.
Until then, I'll take good care of this car. Its gas tank will be filled. It will receive the occasional wash. The oil will be changed within 500 miles of the date or distance scribbled on the little Colorform in the windshield's upper left corner.
And I'll continue to schlep the jumper cables.
______________________________________________________________
Cupcake and I went to the supermarket Thursday after school and before choir practice, along with everyone in our metropolitan area since snow had been predicted within 500 miles of us sometime in the next decade and that's how we roll around here. We picked up our Super Bowl supplies (go Saints!), Cupcake had a hot chocolate and a gelato (which canceled each other out and neither of which she offered to share with me), and we left the store with plenty of snackage and ample time to make it to her rehearsal.
At this point please imagine the screeching sound of a needle being drawn across a vinyl record. Thank you.
The battery was as dead as a coffin-nail.
Triage!Triage!Triage! Whom to call first? Sister at work -- can't leave. Brother-in-law? Office too far away. Father, playing chess at a friend's house -- not easily reachable. Mother at home? Probably available; almost certainly grumpy. Car dealership? Roadside assistance? Gas station on the next corner? No guarantee that any of them can arrive in less than an hour.
In accordance with the ancient law that Anything for a Grandchild, I handed the phone to Cupcake so she could call Mawmaw. As predicted, Mawmaw skittered to the rescue so her little darling wouldn't miss choir practice, setting in motion the following tribute to Rube Goldberg:
Cupcake Punctuality Issue: under control. Sort of.
Car Not Starting Issue: not so under control.
Call roadside assistance, step out of the car (cold!) to locate the 166,143.72 digit Vehicle Identification Number, count backwards to identify the last four digits for Mr. Automatic Voice Man; when that's not acceptable, step back out of the car (cold!) to identify the final eight digits. Finally, when a Real Person picks up the line, step out of the car one more time (COLD!) to repeat the last four digits, then the last eight digits, then the entire VIN, at which point Mr. Real Boy announces that this car isn't on the list for Roadside Assistance but they'll send a truck anyway for the low, low one-time fee of $61.
I tell him to forget it.
So. Here I am in a parking lot full of cars, adjacent to a grocery store full of people stocking up on milk, eggs, bread, vegetable peelers, batteries, donuts, snow shovels, mangoes, socks, light ammunition, fake firewood, capers, matches, roadside flares and anything else one might need to survive a blizzard predicted to dump one whole inch of snow throughout the metropolitan area. If I can match up one of the cars to one of the people, preferably a young guy who likes to show off for women, I'll be in bidniz.
Do I stalk the supermarket in pursuit of a potential victim Good Deed Doer...
and follow him to his car, or choose my subject from among the people manning the various stores lining the parking lot? Manicure place? No. Yoga studio? Definitely not. UPS store or athletic shoe store? Either one a possibility.
Long Story Less Long
In the shoe store I sense a good omen: two male employees, no customers, because anyone who might normally be shopping for athletic shoes is at the grocery store stocking up on sardines and Jello in anticipation of the approaching one inch blizzard.
Posted on February 10, 2010 at 07:47 PM in Klutzing, Shopping | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: blizzard, dead car battery, jumper cables, Rube Goldberg, Saints, snow, Super Bowl, supermarket, Vehicle identification number, when can I get my Porsche?
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Posted on February 10, 2010 at 06:55 PM in Humor, Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: New Orleans Saints, Peyton Manning, Super Bowl, Who Dat
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Making personalized calendars even more personal with the addition of peculiar dates; here are some for February.
FeeFiFoto has been producing personalized photo calendars as a core part of our business since we were established about five years ago. For a long time our designs and features were relatively unchanged, but last year we added a bunch of new templates, a thousand or so pieces of clip art, and the capacity to arrange photos in collages instead of being limited to a single photo per page. We've always had a feature that lets you enter your own family birthdays, anniversaries or special events.
Last year the kids and I designed calendars for our family, and in addition to the usual birthdays and anniversaries, we chose one day each month for a fictitious holiday just to see if anyone was paying attention. January 16 was Talk Like Pirates Day, February 24 was Walk Backwards Day, March 1 was Talk Really Fast Day, August 17 was Snowball Fight Day, and November 2 was Kiss Your Mom Day. We also acknowledged some legitimate holidays and anniversaries, like the Ides of March (March 15), Beethoven's Birthday (December 16) and the anniversary of Paul Revere's Ride (April 18). It was fun and silly.
I can't imagine that the majority of customers who buy personalized photo calendars from FeeFiFoto have my family's twisted warped exotic
highly developed sense of humor, but on the outside chance that at
least someone out there appreciates a good absurdist* joke, I've
compiled a list of some really weird, but apparently true, national and
international holidays.
February
1
Serpent Day
Clark Gable, b. 1901
2
Purification Day
James Joyce, b. 1882
3
Carrot Cake Day
Cordova Ice Worm Day
I don't even want to know about this one
4
Rosa Parks, b. 1913
Thank A Mailman Day
Create A Vacuum Day
I've heard Dysons are really good
5
National Weatherman's Day
Disaster Day
Could these two be related?
6
Lame Duck Day
Aaron Burr, b. 1756
Babe Ruth, b. 1895
7
Charles Dickens Day
8
Kite Flying Day
Shouldn't this be in April?
9
Toothache Day
Think I'll pass on this one
10
Umbrella Day
11
White Tee-Shirt Day
Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day
Thomas Edison, b. 1847
12
National Plum Pudding Day
13
Get A Different Name Day
Dream Your Sweet Day
Read To Your Child Day
14
Ferris Wheel Day
National Heart to Heart Day
15
National Gum Drop Day
But please, don't drop your gum on the sidewalk
16
Do A Grouch A Favor Day
But only if he asks nicely
17
Champion Crab Races Day
18
Pluto Day
National Battery Day
Umm -- is there a National Assault Day?
19
National Chocolate Mint Day
You got my attention with this one
20
Hoodie Hoo Day
Woo hoo -- it's Hoodie Hoo Day!
21
Card Reading Day
22
Be Humble Day
The rest of the year, be as conceited as you like
23
W.E.B. Dubois, b. 1868
Banana Bread Day
International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day
Miss Puppy likes this one
24
National Tortilla Chip Day
25
Pistol Patent Day (Samuel Colt)
26
William Frawley, b. 1887
Buffalo Bill Cody, b. 1846
National Pistachio Day
I like pistachios better than pistols
27
Marian Anderson, b. 1897
International Polar Bear Day
I like polar bears
28
Public Sleeping Day
I like sleeping
29
National Surf and Turf Day
Do you commemorate Beethoven's Birthday? And what is an "Ides" anyway?
Visit FeeFiFoto to design really personalized calendars with your own photos and dates.
*SpellCheck tried for Kurdistan
Posted on February 04, 2010 at 09:00 AM in FeeFiFoto, Gift Ideas, Holidays: Strange, Weird, Odd & Unusual, Humor | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: Aaron Burr, Babe Ruth, Buffalo Bill Cody, Clark Gable, James Joyce, Marian Anderson, strange February holidays, Thomas Edison, W.E.B. Dubois, William Frawley
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Courage – Do one brave thing today, then run like hell!
I'm sending this to Robespierre to remind him that, the next time he feels compelled to trash talk a wrestling practice partner, he'd better make darn sure he's stronger and/or faster than his opponent, so he doesn't come home again with a swollen jaw and an ice pack.
Posted on February 02, 2010 at 01:35 PM in Humor, Kids | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: middle school sports, trash talking, wrestling practice
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When did giving out Valentines in school become such a big deal?
Posted on February 02, 2010 at 11:54 AM in Holidays, Kids, School | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: chocolate truffles, Dopey, five stages, fourth grade valentines, lollipop, Valentine candy, Valentine's Day, Wacky Packages
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What have you never?
*Spell Check wanted laughingstocks or bluestockings, crocus, scruggs, scruffiness
Posted on February 01, 2010 at 06:39 AM in Lists, Spell Check, Stuff | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Technorati Tags: A Christmas Story, Birkenstocks, Catcher in the Rye, Crocs, JD Salinger, Lord of the Rings, Oprah, reality shows, Stephen King, Stonehenge, The Godfather, The Sixth Sense, Titanic, Uggs, USA Today
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