I've Never

• Intentionally watched Oprah or reality programming of any kind
• Read Catcher in the Rye or anything else by JD Salinger
• Broken a bone (chips, yes, but no clean breaks.  Did you know you can chip the tip of your finger if you slam it in a door?  And that, even years later, your fingertip will twinge when you type?  ow)
• Smoked anything, snorted anything, popped anything
• Seen The Godfather, Titanic, A Christmas Story, Lord of the Rings anything, or The Sixth Sense (although I know someone will shoot his eye out, someone else sees dead people, and another guy should leave the gun but take the cannoli)
• Cooked or served ham
• Read USA Today, or anything by Stephen King (not that Stephen King writes for USA Today.  Does he?  I wouldn't know, since I've never read either, see above)
• Held a loaded handgun (although I held the very old, unloaded pistol that my aunt found in my grandfather's desk after my grandfather died.  It was frozen.  We figured that he intended to throw it at burglars)
• Worn Birkenstocks* or Crocs (but Uggs keep my feet toasty oasty oasty these days)
• Seen Stonehenge in the flesh stone
• Eaten an Egg McMuffin*
• Prepared my own taxes, or anybody else's (for that matter, I'd feel great pity for anyone who had to depend on me to prepare their taxes)

What have you never?

*Spell Check wanted laughingstocks or bluestockings, crocus, scruggs, scruffiness

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"What have you never?"

I've never:
- had a warship... or any other conveyance named after me
- been to Twin Falls, Idaho
- driven a tank
- floated in the Dead Sea
- cared much for lima beans