My daughter and son came home from camp a couple weeks ago and we still have a few days before school resumes. This year she'll be in 5th grade and he'll be in 8th. She completed much of the summer math packet before leaving for camp, and she read way more than the minimum required number of books; now she has to write a couple of essays. And it's hard. It's hard to read a challenging book and interpret it on command. It's hard to solve complex word problems. It's hard to force yourself into the confining space of school -- can I type my essays or do I have to write them out by hand? Do I have to write about something from the reading list or can I substitute books I like better?
This summer my kids went to camp. They swam, hiked, did arts and crafts, hung out with friends, toasted marshmallows. They did their best and competed only against themselves. If they passed a swimming or boating test they got to move to the next level if they felt like it; along the way they got to keep trying until they passed or decided to stop trying -- no grades, no competition, no judgments. The rules they followed focused on mostly safety and kindness.
Now that school is imminent, my kids have to follow a different set of rules in addition to those governing safety and kindness. For the next ten months any reading they do for school will be followed by assignments, tests, vocabulary lists and instructions to identify themes, characters and relationships.
Summer for my kids is about feeling good and self-esteemish. Whatever they accomplish comes about because they set their own goals and work towards them. Now that school is coming, that hard won self image is going to take a beating. They'll question themselves -- am I getting the idea? Did I say that right? Will I get all the points? Did I write what the teacher wants to read?
While in law school I feverishly wrote down every word my teachers said, even if I didn't understand it, frequently losing sight of the big picture in my scramble to record a professor's every cough and sniffle. I stressed myself so drastically that during one exam period I landed in the emergency room with chest pains; the doctor put me on tranquilizers and suggested I go home and get some rest because I was toeing the line of a heart attack.
School is work, and while it can deliver gigantic rewards, school is also a source of major vexation and anxiety. Summer is a time for feeling good about what you're doing, and if it doesn't feel good, you don't have to do it.
Summer, the time when pretty much anything you do is okay as long as it doesn't interfere with anyone else, is over.
