FeeFiFoto Blog

This Is Public Sleeping Day

Not Public Speaking Day.  Public Sleeping Day.  So go ahead.  Sleep at your desk.  Sleep on the bus or train to and from work.  Sleep in class (but try not to drool on your quiz paper).  Sleep at the wheel but only at red lights.  Sleep in the library but it's probably a good idea to stay away from the horror section so you don't have nightmares and wake up screaming because you know you're supposed to shush in the library.

And Now, The News.

From the Springfield (Missouri) News-Leader:

A section of Interstate 44 in southwest Missouri was closed for several hours after a tractor-trailer crashed and spilled its load, creating a giant slick of mayonnaise.

Springfield police closed the eastbound lanes of the interstate near U.S. 65 for several hours Saturday night as crews cleaned up debris from the tractor-trailer crash, including about 40,000 pounds of mayonnaise.

Jokes commence in 3... 2... 1...

Blogsite Analytics, Anyone?

Who uses what?  And why?  Spill it, because it all looks like math to me.

Guess What? It's International Polar Bear Day.

Let's learn a little bit about polar bears.

What do you mean you don't want to learn about polar bears?  It's always good to learn stuff.  Now sit down and shut up.

• Male adult polar bears can grow up to 12 feet long; the females can reach 9 feet.  This disparity in size enables the males to change the highest light bulbs while the females look up and kibitz.
• Polar bear fur isn't actually white -- it's colorless and the long hairs are hollow.  The hollow hairs trap infrared light to help keep the bear warm.
• On a scale of 1 to 10, polar bears cubs are just about the cutest things on the planet:

Cute picture, huh?

• Polar bears are kept warm by thick fat, two layers of fur and compact ears and tails that help reduce heat loss.  They're made for snow just like Tibetan Terriers, although I can hardly imagine Miss Puppy supporting herself by hunting seals at the North Pole but I can picture her eating her fill of moles if there are in fact moles at the Pole.
• You can adopt a polar bear here, at Polar Bear International.

Happy Birthday, If He Weren't Dead, To...

William Frawley.  Blah blah blah Fred Mertz.  Blah blah Miracle on 34th Street.  Blah blah blah My Three Sons, pre-Uncle Charlie.

It's also the birthday of Buffalo Bill Cody.

Hmm.  Is February 26th a designated Bill day?  Gates?  Cosby?  Clinton?  O'Reilly?  Anyone?

This Day Is The Birthday Of...

George Harrison.  The youngest Beatle.  The shyest Beatle.  The most spiritual Beatle.

 

I've turned Cupcake and Robespierre on to Hard Day's Night, which they quote as extravagantly as they do Airplane! and Monty Python and the Holy Grail, about which I am extremely proud.

Guess What Day It Is

It's National Tortilla Chip Day.  So put on your

 

and make a date with

picture from here

light an aromatic candle for that

and let's enjoy some tortillas, shall we?

Today Is The Birthday Of W.E.B. Dubois...

Dubois was a 20th Century sociologist, intellectual, author and civil rights leader.  Poignantly, he died in Ghana the night before Martin Luther King delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech.

To learn more about King's speech and the events leading up to it, pick up Behind the Dream: The Making of the Speech that Transformed a Nation, by Clarence B. Jones and Stuart Connelly.  Were you aware that King's famous speech was largely improvised?  Me neither.

It's Be Humble Day

There was a brief time, about one semester of law school, when I was feeling so blue and self-pitying that I tried to drown my sorrows in country music. I loved this song by Mac "Raindrops-Keep-Falling-On-My Head" Davis:

 

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror 'cause I get better lookin' each day
To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble, but I'm doin' the best that I can

I know it's hard, but please try.

Wasn't the Muppet Show wonderful?  Discuss.

Is It Any Wonder My Head Hurts?

I organize my life with a BlackBerry.  It does its job reasonably well, storing phone numbers, addresses, birthday reminders and dates.  It even maintains my shopping list.

I use a simple spreadsheet application called Grid Magic to keep track of everything I might need.

My list could have been truly alphabetized but it got too difficult to keep moving things up or down to make room for new items so now I keep my list in alphabetized "chunks."  Occasionally I temporarily add a new listing for a one-time purchase until I can manage to pick up zip ties, rope or a new microwave oven.

The spreadsheet on my BlackBerry is a handy tool to help me not forget anything crucial at the supermarket or superstore.

Unfortunately, occasionally the gremlins invade and tamper with my list.

Anyone know if supermarkets are carrying alpacas, llamas, ponies or gnus this spring?

It's Card Reading Day

Today is Card Reading Day.  What kind of cards shall we read?  It's anybody's guess.

If you saved up all of last year's Christmas cards or Valentines, read them today.  I've kept my kids' friends' annual holiday cards for them to look at later and say either "wow, they've changed!" or "who the heck is that?"

I might go over every birthday card and Mother's Day card my kids have ever given me, which I just might have stored away in a file somewhere in my office.

You could read every business card you've ever received, including those stored in your Outlook or wherever people store e-business cards.

Anybody know anything about Tarot cards?

It's Hoodie Hoo Day

February 20 is Hoodie Hoo Day, a copyrighted holiday:

On this winter day, people go out at noon, wave their hands over their heads and chant "Hoodie-Hoo".

It is a day to chase away winter and bring in spring. After all, everyone in the northern hemisphere are sick and tired of winter at this point and a little crazy being cooped up inside all winter and not seeing the sun.

You first.  I'll be right behind you, I swear.

Let me know how it works out.

Today's Holiday Is...

National Chocolate Mint Day.

Chocolate.  Mint.  Two of the most divine flavors combined to form one uberflavor*.

Peppermint Patties.

M&Ms.

And Cupcake's impossibly delicious Thin Mint Brownies.

I'm hungry.

*Spellcheck offered flavorless.  Uh uh.

Today We Observe...

Pluto Day!

Pluto was the Roman god of the Underwear.  Oops -- I mean Underworld. Originally he was the god of metals but since metals came from mines underground he eventually took jurisdiction over all good things that come from underground, including jewels and precious metals but apparently not yams or carrots.

Pluto's jurisdiction over shiny stuff is probably why rule of the wealthy is referred to as a plutocracy.

Pluto used to be a planet but for the moment he's just a rock floating aimlessly in space on a path to crash through some crotchety old guy's cosmic window.  You might say he and the other real planets have a plutonic relationship.  On the other hand, you might show impeccable taste by not saying it and rolling your eyes when I say it.

How cool is this?

This Day Is...

Champion Crab Races Day.

Robey wanted a pet hermit crab.  I knew that "his" pet would really be "my" pet, and I had very little interest in nurturing an animal that looked like a rock.

So I gently suggested he take a look at the instructions for maintaining your crab and its "crabitat" (I didn't make that word up.  Wish I had.  Just the word crabitat was nearly enough to persuade me I had to allow the little critter in our house, but it still didn't make up for the fact that I would be destined to be the chief crab wrangler).

Look at all these rules!  Rules about humidity, bedding, baths or no baths, toys, friends, chlorine, molting,  even cannibalism!  All for some crustacean as big as your hand that might go belly up days before you notice it hasn't stirred in days.

One glance at the rules was enough to convince him that a dog is much better than a hermit crab, especially since your mother loves the dog and willingly cares for her.

Today's Holiday Is...

Do a Grouch a Favor Day.

Did you know Oscar the Grouch was originally orange?  Guess all that trash made him moldy.

Wordless Wednesday: Doing Dishes

Today We Celebrate...

National Gum Drop Day.  I know Ronald Reagan was fond of jelly beans.  I like them too, especially the sour and tangy ones like lemon, tangerine or cinnamon.

But I've never been certain what a gumdrop is, other than something in that deplorable sweet game Candyland.

Let's Celebrate...

Ferris Wheel Day and National Heart to Heart Day.

It's Ferris Wheel Day in honor of the birthday of George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr., who invented a ride called the Gale Wheel (gotcha!  Just kidding.  It's really the George Washington Wheel) for the World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago in 1893.  Want to learn a little bit about the Chicago World's Fair and feel your toes curl up inside your Uggs at the same time?  Pick up Devil in the White City by Erik Larson, the story of the Fair intertwined with the nefarious doings of Dr. H.H. Holmes, a con artist who lured young women to his World's Fair Hotel and murdered them.

Oh, and it's also Valentine's Day.

Today...

is Get a Different Name Day and Read to Your Child Day

I don't want a new name.  I have a name (actually a title) that I like very much.  Sometimes I forget the title isn't really my new name and I confuse people by referring to myself by the title, so I have to explain and that just confuses them further.

I love reading to my kids.  I think Cupcake would enjoy it even if I read Goodnight Moon to her.