Dear Some (Not All) of My Friends:
We all know it's a bummer to expect a phone call, wait for a phone call, but not receive a phone call. If it's all the same to you, I'm going to stop calling you to catch up and get together, because waiting for you to return my calls is a bummer. Some of you remind me of those guys who seemed to enjoy my company but never called for a second date.
I know you're busy; we all are. We don't circulate in precisely the same circles; our kids are different ages or in different schools; we may not live near each other. We're tickled to meet by accident; we swear we'll get together soon, but I feel like I'm the one who always picks up the phone to arrange something. Frankly, calling you and hoping for a return phone call depresses me.
I think I'm a good friend. I'm always available if you need help or want to talk; when I have to find out what you're up to by talking to other friends or reading your Facebook updates, it hurts my feelings not to be included. You say you feel terribly guilty about not keeping in touch and promise you'll call me, but you don't.
I'm not angry. I am, however, disappointed that we seem to see each other twice a year and mostly at my instigation. I get annoyed when I leave you a happy birthday message and you don't even acknowledge that.
Don't misunderstand me; I love you all dearly. I'll be there for you if you ever need me, but you'll have to let me know you need me because I won't be checking in. My affection for you hasn't changed, but I can tell I'm not on the top of your to do list and I accept that. If I want to be mercilessly honest with myself, I've sensed it for a long time and it has always made me sad. Maybe now there'll be a little less sadness clouding my days, since I'll no longer be expecting and hoping to hear from you.
Feel free to get in touch with me any time you want. I promise I'll return your call.
Love, Me
