FeeFiFoto Blog

Bamboozled: The Advantages Of Planting The Right Sort Of Bamboo In The Yard

Last week we did it.  Planted bamboo, I mean.  Here are a couple pictures of the little tykes:

Why bamboo?  First, personal reasons. 

We live on a very wooded property, which means we have lots of volunteer moss, weeds and miscellaneous plants, along with thousands and millions of leaves every fall.  What we don't have a lot of is grass, or, as some might put it, lawn. 

 

Photo originated here.

I tried planting sod and grass seed, which would enthusiastically flourish the first summer, and never return.  It took me a couple years to catch on but catch on I finally did, that while the grass seemed to enjoy summering with us, for some reason we weren't the best of year-round grass hosts, and after a winter slumbering in the shade, the grass moved to greener pastures every spring.

So I planted ivy, in anticipation of a thick, lush yard of dark green springy vines.  Every year I planted a little more ivy.  And every year... I planted a little more ivy.  Yet there never seemed to be any more ivy than when I'd started.  Finally the guy who cuts my weeds (since I have no grass) summoned the courage to suggest that maybe ivy doesn't like the acid from the oak leaves. 

So I crossed ivy off my list.

And then I read an article in the New York Times about bamboo that suggested using it as a ground cover.  And I thought, Hey!  I have ground!  And it needs covering!  Bamboo might do.

Second, environmental reasons.

According to the Times:

"Bamboo is a workhorse at sequestering carbon dioxide and pumping out oxygen. It is a tough plant that manufactures its own antibacterial compounds and can thrive without pesticides."

Additionally:

"As a natural and renewable resource bamboo offers an opportunity to turn away from the destruction of native forests towards managed commercial plantations that can be selectively harvested annually without the destruction of the grove or stand. Tree plantations obviously have to be chopped down and their nutrient arrest terminated at harvest. Bamboo keeps on keeping on, with edible shoots capable of extraction after less than five years. ...  bamboo can be harvested without the destruction of the grove or stand.

Bamboo minimizes CO₂ gases and generates up to 35% more oxygen than equivalent stand of trees."

That sequestering carbon dioxide thing made so much sense I felt quite stupid for not figuring it out myself without having to be told so by the New York Times.  Here's how it works:

• Bamboo, like all plants, sucks in carbon dioxide and emits oxygen.
• The carbon  dioxide becomes part of the plant, making it a carbon-based life form (a characteristic it shares with Paris Hilton).
• The carbon remains locked in the plant instead of being released into the atmosphere.
• The angels sing, the ozone layer is repaired and global warming is stopped in its tracks, although, sadly, Paris Hilton is still at large.

But bamboo grows like... a weed, I suppose.  And the last thing I need is the burden of maintaining my property with a machete in an attempt to subdue a plant:

Image from Movie Dearest

Thank goodness Nature thinks of everything.  Who knew?  There are TWO kinds of bamboo: 

"One can divide bamboos into “Runners” and “Clumpers”. The Clumpers don’t invade. To remove a clumper, just dig it out (and transplant it.) Runners can be well-behaved in cold climates, but some kinds when in a warm climate, and given plenty of water, can become a serious problem. Don’t plant a runner in a small yard in a warm climate, unless you put a barrier around it.

Homer running

If new shoots of bamboo are coming up all over your yard, it is a running bamboo. To get rid of it, there are four steps:

1. Cut it off.

2. Cut it down.

3. Water and fertilize the area, to cause new growth.

4. Cut it down again. And again."

And again and again and again.

See, it's that "again and again and again" part I can live without.

But there are many varieties of Clumping bamboo.  Clumping bamboo, unlike horizontally spreading bamboo, sends out individual rhizomes, allowing the plant to spread only a few inches a year and maintain its original shape.

And... GOOOOOOOOAL!  We have a slow-growing ground cover that helps renew the environment and can stand up to shade and leaves and acid and Miss Puppy.

Take that, weeds.

Fedex Breaks Guitars

Remember this video from this cute guy, Dave Carroll?

Well, United isn't the only carrier that breaks guitars. Fedex breaks them too! Just look:

A little background:

My kids (and everyone else's) come home from Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties schlepping armloads of deplorable plastic rubbish that inevitably winds up in landfills, causing me to cringe with guilt when I trash it while the kids are at school so they won't notice it's gone, which they never do, which proves how meaningless all this debris is to them in the first place.

I swore not to commit the same environmental sin in connection with Robespierre's Bar Mitzvah party, much to Robey's annoyance.  Despite his protests I held firm and advocated for more useful giveaways than Kanye West glasses or pimp hats or glow sticks. 

Such as lollipops.

Handmade lollipops, to be precise (from Vintage Confections, via Etsy) in the shape of sports balls, Robey's initials, and electric guitars.  

Vintage Confections offers barley sugar lollipops and candies in 49 flavors,

(really -- 49?  You couldn't spring for one more to make it an even 50?)

including (ready?): Amaretto Apple Blackberry Blueberry Blue Raspberry Bubble Gum Caramel Champagne Cheesecake Cherry Cinnamon Cinnamon Roll (with or without "icing") Clove Coconut Coffee Cotton Candy Cranberry Creme de Menthe Eggnog Fleur de Sel Grape Grapefruit Honey Horchata Irish Creme Juicy Pear Keoke Coffee Key Lime Lemon Lemonade Mango Maple Marshmallow Orange Peppermint Pineapple Pomegranate Prickly Pear Raspberry Root Beer Salt Water Taffy Strawberry/Kiwi Strawberry Tangerine Teaberry Tropical Punch Tutti Frutti Vanilla AND Watermelon.

The manufacturer was delightful to deal with -- prompt and helpful, and the candies look almost too pretty to eat.

Don't they look yummy?

 

And aren't they pretty?

Two hundred lollipops arrived yesterday in a cardboard box snugly packed with shredded paper. 

But four of the guitars arrived BROKEN!  Their necks were cleanly shattered and we had no choice but to end their misery by eating them.

They were delicious.

Alas Fedex -- I blame you.  How could you fail me so severely?

If I had any musical talent to speak of, I'd write a song.

Pluses And Minuses: Things We Like And Dislike About Our Neighbors

Advantages and disadvantages to living behind a high school:

• We have a gigantic field at our fingertips (foottips?) for walking the dog, flying a kite or kicking a soccer ball -- a distinct plus when your genuine yard comprises moss, moles and mud.
• The school staff objects when we use their grass -- something about the dog making a mess, I don't know, but really -- if they didn't want us to use their grass then they shouldn't have grass, right?  If we owned a cow we'd definitely be setting it out to graze there.
• Miss Puppy thinks that every time students are yelling in the playing field, they're summoning her to come out, race up and down the fence perimeter and woof at them.

• Sooner or later Miss Puppy overexerts herself chasing her imaginary friends, plunks down and sleeps it off.  This makes me look like a good and attentive parent who actually walks her dog.
• Students, teachers, lawn maintenance individuals frequently throw their trash over the fence into our yard since, apparently, even though the yard contains a house that from time to time has lights on, as well as a clamorous dog, no one actually lives here so no one will mind if you throw your Capri Sun pouch over the fence.
• We can throw our own trash onto their side of the fence and leave it for them to collect.

RELAX -- we don't.  We're composters -- we don't litter.  Geesh.

Anyone have anything else to add?  What are the advantages to your neighborhood?

I Am Mossy: Replacing Grass That Won't Grow, With Moss, Which Might

With sincerest apologies to Bossy, who is one of my blogging idols.  In fact, I might or might not have a shrine to Bossy in my home, replete with life size graven images of her and her Great Dane, Stella (I wanted to name our dog Stella, or Taxi, because, how funny would it be to chase a fleeing dog yelling either name? but my kids wouldn't buy it).  Y'all go read Bossy's blog and then come back to my paltry post.  Better bookmark me, because once you've met Bossy, you might not be interested in me any more, kind of like when Jan's boyfriend met Marcia and all of a sudden he was like: "Jan who?" and Jan was like: "Marcia Marcia Marcia!!"

Was I talking about something?

Ah.  Moss.

More Power To Me: Choosing Green Power

I received a flier in the mail today from our electricity provider, titled "Choose Green Power."  Here's the gist:

"When you enroll in Pure Power, AmerenUE buys 100% renewable energy credits on your behalf.  Most households can reduce the same amount of CO2 emissions in a year as they could by not driving one car for 19 months (emphasis in the original.  Gee, sometimes it's just a little too obvious that I'm a former lawyer, isn't it?).  And they do this for about 50 cents a day."

What are Renewable Energy Credits?  According to wiseGEEK:

"While a consumer would ideally... purchase renewable energy for his or her home, this is not always possible. Renewable Energy Credits allow companies and individuals to support alternative power in areas which do not offer it directly...

Along with carbon offsets and other incentive programs, Renewable Energy Credits are part of a growing movement which acknowledges that even small changes make a big difference. By supporting green energy, consumers show that there is a demand for it, and companies can build more plants or accelerate production with the funds raised through the sale of Renewable Energy Credits. Organizations which promote programs like this hope to eventually see everyone's ecological footprint, meaning the amount of resources and space needed to support a particular lifestyle, greatly reduced."

Doing Our Part For The Environment: Composting

Remember to enter FeeFiFoto's Fall Fame Contest. The winner's name will be drawn on September 15. Good luck!

A guy walking through a cemetery comes upon an open grave.  He's astonished to see Beethoven sitting at the bottom of the hole with an enormous musical score on his lap and a huge pink eraser in his hand.  Beethoven is busily erasing and erasing and erasing.  The guy calls down into the grave: "Hey, Beethoven!  What are you doing down there?"  And Beethoven, who evidently enjoys perfect hearing in death, looks up and replies: "Decomposing."

Let's talk about composting.

According to Wikipedia:

"Composting is the aerobic decomposition of biodegradable organic matter, producing compost. (Or in a simpler form: Composting is the decaying of food, mostly vegetables or manure.)"

Some information on why you should compost, from Grist.org:

"Q: I don't compost, instead I just throw the banana peel or apple core into the bushes. I like the thought that maybe one day my apple core will become an apple, or that my banana peel will help nourish that piece of ground/animals in the area over ending up in a landfill... But I've heard that this eco-littering isn't terribly good... Should I start to properly compost my food?

A:  Almost none of the produce you discard will sprout new life...  Any animals that eat the fruit will be scavengers who have other food sources, because no animal could build a life on waiting for banana peels...True, one alternative is to throw them in the garbage, where they will be interred for centuries... [But]if you were to compost your pits and peels, they would transform themselves into nourishing plant nutrients. Composted material isn't just more aesthetically pleasing than rotting banana peels, it has a chemical and structural difference that is beneficial to plants..."

In case you don't know anything about composting, some materials are not recommended to put in your compost pile:

From University of Maine Cooperative Extension:

"Although almost all natural, organic material will compost, you shouldn't put everything in your pile. Some wastes, such as fish scraps, bones, butter and meat, will attract pests and may smell. Other items, such as dog or cat manure, contain disease organisms that can survive the compost process and may attract other animals. Plants that are diseased or are infested with insects should not be added to your compost pile because they can cause future problems. ...

Easy to compost: seaweed, bread, coffee grounds, egg shells, pine needles, fruit peels and rinds, garden waste, grass clippings, leaves, paper, sawdust, straw, sod, tea bags, vegetables, wood ash, wood, shavings

Hard to Compost: butter, bones, cheese, chicken, fish scraps, lard, mayonnaise, meat, milk, cooking oils, peanut butter, salad dressing, sour cream, vegetable oil, wood chips

Meat scraps or fats can attract pest / scavengers like rats or raccoons"

When I lived in a house with a relatively treeless yard, I tried composting kitchen scraps and waste from the vegetable garden.  I saved food scraps in a bucket under the sink; every few days I'd take the bucket outside and empty it into the compost box.

I felt saintly.  I patted myself on the back.  I boasted.

But it was hard.  The stuff in the box had to be turned regularly with a pitchfork, and not only am I a small and delicate hothouse flower who swoons in the heat and prefers air conditioned hotels, I'm lazy and whiny, so it didn't take long before I gave up on turning the composter and concluded that the vegetable material inside could darn well break down on its own, which can take more than a year if the pile isn't turned every few days. 

I still felt sort of holy but now also frustrated that something described as being easy required manual labor.

When I moved into our current home there was no place to put a vegetable garden, but I still wanted to be smart about food waste, so I picked up a green cone composter. 

The green cone composter is made of two parts: the basket and the cone.  The basket is sunk into the ground and the cone, attached to the top of the basket, rises about three feet above ground level.   When composting above ground, either in an open compost pile or a structured composter, you can put in only vegetable waste but no meat, fat, bones or dairy.  Eggshells are okay; eggs aren't.  But with the green cone you can put in any type of decomposable waste.  Chicken bones are okay; in fact any bones are okay, except perhaps the skeletons in your closet.  Since all the waste is contained by the basket below ground level, pests and scavengers can't get to it.  The cone concentrates the sun's heat to cook down the waste into mush; liquid leaches off into the surrounding earth and insects consume the rest. 

Voila: no turning, no mixing, no emptying, no mess, lots of saintliness.

I set the cone outside the fence where it wouldn't show and every few days I'd take the bucket outside and dump food waste in the cone. 

After a couple years, however, frustrated that anyone who entered our yard through the back gate left it open, forcing me to play tag with my dogs once a week, I locked the gate and said oh well to my ambitions for saintliness because it was too much trouble to reach the cone from the other side of the yard (see above, the part about lazy and whiny).

Then Robespierre and Cleopatra became interested in recycling and one day I said: "Hey kids!  Let's put on a show!"  Or something to that effect.

Cleo's kindergarten maintained a worm composting box.  The worms lived in the dirt and the kids fed the worms banana peels.

From Offsprung.com:

"Kids love worms, and Recycleworks has found an expensive way to tap into that desire: the Educational Waste Buster, or what we know and love as a worm bin.

Why worms?
Worms break down more food garbage than can be accomplished with passive composting, and according to City Farmer, can be done inside or outside. Yeah. I suppose that’s less disgusting, than say, owning a ferret."

I briefly considered installing a worm bin in our kitchen but:  Worms.  Eew.

I announced that we were going to compost outside, after we dug up the green cone and re-situated it inside the yard for easier access (see above: lazy and whiny).

So we dislodged the cone from the basket and dug.  We dug up clean dirt with no evidence that it had ever contained anything besides dirt, except for the styrofoam tray I'd once accidentally dropped into the cone.  Then we dug a corresponding hole inside the yard in a place where the cone would get enough sunshine to facilitate the saintly composting process.  The kids dug eagerly as they argued over who'd get to dump in the first bucket and how they'd divide dumping responsibilities thereafter.  There was much negotiation over who'd carry the bucket, who'd open the cone, and who'd execute the actual dumpage.

For the first week composting went quite smoothly.  Responsibilities were divided equitably and arguing was at a minimum.

The first fissures appeared when the bucket we kept under the sink started developing an aura, shall we say.  Immediately it became my job to open it, close it, dump it and wash it.  Soon after that the green cone also began to become more, um, interesting, as fruit flies and maggots and all kinds of other little buggies took up residence to aid in the composting process.  Bingo: composting is now 100% my responsibility.  I fill the bucket, empty the bucket, wash the bucket, contend with the fruit flies, while the kids keep their distance since, apparently, they're whiny too.

And they wonder why I refuse to get them a guinea pig.

When we last saw our hero she was explaining the fundamental differences between incandescent lighting and fluorescent lighting.  Let's continue our discussion, already in progress.

I started buying compact fluorescent bulbs about a year ago.  When I first saw compact fluorescents in the 1990s they were tall and square and didn't fit most lamps or fixtures; now you can even get floodlights with the twisty stuff inside the globe, as well as chandelier flame bulbs.  They take a moment to warm up after they're switched on; as soon as they're running at full force they give off as much light as incandescent bulbs but with much less generation of heat and usage of electricity.  They're way more expensive than comparable incandescent bulbs but they're supposed to last up to seven years, as opposed to the approximately 1000 hours alloted to typical incandescent bulbs, except for the Centennial Light.

Guess how many years this light bulb has been burning.  Go on -- take a guess.

No.

Nope -- way longer than that.

Nuh uh -- not even close.

Find this clip at MSNBC.com

The Livermore, CA Fire Department's Centennial Light is a four watt hand blown light bulb with a carbon filament that has been burning almost continuously as a firehouse night light since 1901. 

Read the above line again and catch your breath -- it wasn't a typo: the bulb has been burning more than 107 years, which makes it slightly older than Hugh Hefner, and considerably brighter and more useful.

Although quite bright, the bulb is very shy: it doesn't give interviews.  Still, the bulb's press has included recognitions from the Guinness Book of World Records, Ripley's Believe It Or Not, CNN, NBC, NPR, and newspapers across the country and around the world, as far away as New Zealand. 

The bulb is monitored by the Livermore Pleasanton Fire Department "Bulb Cam", which refreshes every ten seconds.

Why this sudden fixation on lighting?  Because lately, in self defense, I've had to take a crash course in the qualities of different types of light bulbs lately.

Kids really do want to make a difference.

A month ago I posted about my concern that Americans' environmentalism will fizzle as soon as we find something easier or more appealing, like American Idol or something -- naah, that could never happen.  Maybe space travel...

Anyway, today Robespierre told me that one of his friends is circulating a petition around the fifth grade suggesting that the school install solar panels to cut down on electricity use.  He signed the petition and wants to organize a fund drive to raise money for solar panels.

Way to go friend!  Way to go Robey!  Way to go fifth grade!  Looks like at least some of my preaching encouragement has gotten through.

See also:   Kids and Politics, Kids and Giving

What are you doing to reduce your environmental impact?

Carry FeeFiFoto personalized canvas tote bags to the supermarket to cut down on landfill use.

The "Green" movement: does it have staying power?

Amy, at Mums The Wurd, showcases the "Dream Green" collection of children's and toddler tees from a boutique in Nashville called Peas on Earth (cute name -- you know how I love puns).  These simple cotton tees have cute graphics and captions like "Aspiring Environmentalist" and "Aspiring Humanitarian":

"I'm thrilled that there are boutiques like Peas on Earth out there. I believe they will play a part in making a difference in our children's future. It's all about raising awareness and they're on the right track."

I worry about movements like this one.  I worry that protecting and restoring our environment may turn out to be the flavor of the month (or decade), and that we'll move on once we tire of environmentalism.  I hope I'm wrong.  I hope that by teaching our children habits of sensible conservation we'll foster and perpetuate in them an attitude of respectful and thoughtful use of resources.

What do you think?

Enough with the catalogs already!  Enough with the real estate agents dying to sell my house and help me buy a new one.  Enough with the offers to trim my trees, resurface my driveway, clean my teeth or find me a date for Saturday night.  Check out Not Always Right.  I thought I was the only person who did this:

"Why Asking Why Is A Bad Idea ...

Me: “Okay, and if you could just sign the top line of this receipt copy for the return, you’ll be all set.”

Customer: “Wait, this isn’t my correct address. This address printed on this receipt is not mine.”

Me: “Yes ma’am, I realize that. However, our cash registers make us enter address and telephone information whenever anyone does a return or exchange. It’s for fraud prevention, etc. However, whenever I request a customer’s address, they panic, clutch their purse to their chest and hiss, ‘Why would you need to know that?’ Or they shout, ‘I’m not getting on any more [g** d***] mailing lists!’ or they are conspiracy theorists who are convinced that I’m an agent of the government monitoring their spending habits through my DOS-based cash register. Or they think I want to come and hang out with them after I get off work. And it really doesn’t matter how many times I try to explain that it’s a fraud prevention requirement and that I’m neither immediately passing it on to Big Brother nor to my drug dealer named Tito. So I make up addresses because I don’t particularly want to have these conversations anymore.”

Customer, after a long pause: “Yes, that’s a very good plan you’ve come up with.” *scampers away from me*"

Making The Transition From Incandescent To Fluorescent

When we last saw our hero she was explaining the fundamental differences between incandescent lighting and fluorescent lighting.  Let's continue our discussion, already in progress.

I started buying compact fluorescent bulbs about a year ago.  When I first saw compact fluorescents in the 1990s they were tall and square and didn't fit most lamps or fixtures; now you can even get floodlights with the twisty stuff inside the globe, as well as chandelier flame bulbs.  They take a moment to warm up after they're switched on; as soon as they're running at full force they give off as much light as incandescent bulbs but with much less generation of heat and usage of electricity.  They're way more expensive than comparable incandescent bulbs but they're supposed to last up to seven years, as opposed to the approximately 1000 hours alloted to typical incandescent bulbs, except for the Centennial Light.

I Was Going To Write About The History Of Light Bulbs But This Is Way More Interesting

Guess how many years this light bulb has been burning.  Go on -- take a guess.

No.

Nope -- way longer than that.

Nuh uh -- not even close.

Find this clip at MSNBC.com

The Livermore, CA Fire Department's Centennial Light is a four watt hand blown light bulb with a carbon filament that has been burning almost continuously as a firehouse night light since 1901. 

Read the above line again and catch your breath -- it wasn't a typo: the bulb has been burning more than 107 years, which makes it slightly older than Hugh Hefner, and considerably brighter and more useful.

Although quite bright, the bulb is very shy: it doesn't give interviews.  Still, the bulb's press has included recognitions from the Guinness Book of World Records, Ripley's Believe It Or Not, CNN, NBC, NPR, and newspapers across the country and around the world, as far away as New Zealand. 

The bulb is monitored by the Livermore Pleasanton Fire Department "Bulb Cam", which refreshes every ten seconds.

Why this sudden fixation on lighting?  Because lately, in self defense, I've had to take a crash course in the qualities of different types of light bulbs lately.

They Might Just Make It After All

Kids really do want to make a difference.

A month ago I posted about my concern that Americans' environmentalism will fizzle as soon as we find something easier or more appealing, like American Idol or something -- naah, that could never happen.  Maybe space travel...

Anyway, today Robespierre told me that one of his friends is circulating a petition around the fifth grade suggesting that the school install solar panels to cut down on electricity use.  He signed the petition and wants to organize a fund drive to raise money for solar panels.

Way to go friend!  Way to go Robey!  Way to go fifth grade!  Looks like at least some of my preaching encouragement has gotten through.

See also:   Kids and Politics, Kids and Giving

What are you doing to reduce your environmental impact?

Carry FeeFiFoto personalized canvas tote bags to the supermarket to cut down on landfill use.

Teaching Our Children To Clean Up Our Act

The "Green" movement: does it have staying power?

Amy, at Mums The Wurd, showcases the "Dream Green" collection of children's and toddler tees from a boutique in Nashville called Peas on Earth (cute name -- you know how I love puns).  These simple cotton tees have cute graphics and captions like "Aspiring Environmentalist" and "Aspiring Humanitarian":

"I'm thrilled that there are boutiques like Peas on Earth out there. I believe they will play a part in making a difference in our children's future. It's all about raising awareness and they're on the right track."

I worry about movements like this one.  I worry that protecting and restoring our environment may turn out to be the flavor of the month (or decade), and that we'll move on once we tire of environmentalism.  I hope I'm wrong.  I hope that by teaching our children habits of sensible conservation we'll foster and perpetuate in them an attitude of respectful and thoughtful use of resources.

What do you think?

Oops -- Must Have Gotten The Zip Code Wrong

Enough with the catalogs already!  Enough with the real estate agents dying to sell my house and help me buy a new one.  Enough with the offers to trim my trees, resurface my driveway, clean my teeth or find me a date for Saturday night.  Check out Not Always Right.  I thought I was the only person who did this:

"Why Asking Why Is A Bad Idea ...

Me: “Okay, and if you could just sign the top line of this receipt copy for the return, you’ll be all set.”

Customer: “Wait, this isn’t my correct address. This address printed on this receipt is not mine.”

Me: “Yes ma’am, I realize that. However, our cash registers make us enter address and telephone information whenever anyone does a return or exchange. It’s for fraud prevention, etc. However, whenever I request a customer’s address, they panic, clutch their purse to their chest and hiss, ‘Why would you need to know that?’ Or they shout, ‘I’m not getting on any more [g** d***] mailing lists!’ or they are conspiracy theorists who are convinced that I’m an agent of the government monitoring their spending habits through my DOS-based cash register. Or they think I want to come and hang out with them after I get off work. And it really doesn’t matter how many times I try to explain that it’s a fraud prevention requirement and that I’m neither immediately passing it on to Big Brother nor to my drug dealer named Tito. So I make up addresses because I don’t particularly want to have these conversations anymore.”

Customer, after a long pause: “Yes, that’s a very good plan you’ve come up with.” *scampers away from me*"