FeeFiFoto Blog

Approaching Halfway There: Waiting To Hit The Tipping Point

Leaving the yard to its own devices doesn't equal not having to perform any yard maintenance.  Someday if all the stars align and the moles retreat, resulting in no more mole tunnels and the added bonus (redundant, I know) of the absence of any temptation for Miss Puppy to dig holes for moles although she'd still have the chipmunks to keep her busy...

Was I saying something?

Ah.  If the stars align and the weather is good and absent any other interference (Go cicadas, go!) (If you're like me you now have the theme to Speed Racer running through your brain.  Sorry.) the yard will someday be covered with more moss rather than less, with clover in the sunny spots and liriope and hostas filling the very large and shaded center island.

But we're not there yet.  I'm outside every day (weather permitting; I don't do cold) with a weed-lever-puller-upper thingy displacing dandelions, plantain weeds and violets that encroach on the liriope.  I've filled buckets and buckets and more buckets with weeds; I'm convinced that once the moss takes over no other weeds will be able to set up housekeeping but until that happens I'm weeding my fingers to the bone.

In addition, I'm taking down leggy rhododendrons a few at a time and replacing them with bamboo (don't panic; it's the clumping kind), which will be self-sustaining, easier to contain, half the height of the fence and particularly beneficial for the environment.

I feel like I'm about halfway there, although I'm not sure yet which side of "about halfway there" I'm on right now.

So I've been thinking: how do you identify a tipping point?  How do you know when you've reached the apex and it's all downhill from here?

I have the same question when it comes to measuring progress inside the house.

I used to binge and binge on clothes and decorative objects and kitchenware and scissors and when the closets and basement and garage got full I bought a bigger house.  When the kids came along I had to get more and bigger stuff for them: cribs, toys, sports equipment, more furniture, more books, more dishes.  We got a fish tank, a microscope, a video game, a basketball hoop, sleeping bags, themed bedspreads, themed sheets, baseball hats, Legos and clip-together toys similar to Legos but with different names to distinguish them from Legos.  We had fleece blankets and woven blankets and king-sized blankets and throw blankets and Dora the Explorer blankets.  We had stand up vacuums, handheld vacuums, rechargeable vacuums and robot vacuums.  We accumulated hammers, wrenches, screwdrivers, nails, screws, shovels, spades, rakes, brooms, cutters, clippers and loppers.

Oh, and lots and lots of shoes.

Sometime in the past few years I quit buying everything that didn't buy me first and started trying to get rid of more stuff than we brought in.  And it was HARD.

Replace old, beat-up luggage, but what to do with it?  Nobody wants tired old luggage with no wheels, so it just sat in the basement for a couple of years until I gave it to the Salvation Army.

Get rid of clothes that don't fit or are out of style or have holes or haven't been worn in at least two years.  But I might wear that holey tee shirt under something so maybe I should keep it.

The fish poacher?  I used to use it but the kids don't want to eat poached salmon and if they did I could use a vegetable steamer anyway.  The mortar and pestle?  I used it once for a cookie recipe and we didn't even like the cookies.

I've been going through closets, cabinets and pantries for a couple of years now.  It helps to do it when I'm in a foul mood because I show no mercy: extra sheets that the kids might need for camp or college?  Out.  Shoes that I like but the dog chewed them?  Out.  The second and third string hand vacs, blowdryers and blankets?  Out.

Have I reached the halfway point?  How do I know?  Will I be able to tell when I open cabinets and drawers and they're empty?  Will I know when there are no more dandelions in the yard and all the rhododendrons have been replaced with bamboo?

How do you know when you're halfway there?  Are you ever halfway there, or is "halfway there" a myth like parallel lines that never meet even though they appear to?

Actually I'm Feeling Much Better

What - you didn't know I was feeling crummy?

Neither did I.

I thought my lack of motivation sprung from the weather: that, since winter was long and cold and dark and claustrophobic and spring has been long and cold and wet and claustrophobic, I felt crummy, and I'd feel better once the weather cleared up.  But even when the weather cleared up (for a few days at least.  It's raining again) I still felt down and couldn't make myself do anything except nap or put things off until tomorrow.

You know how it is.  Bills come in.  Paper comes in.  Voicemails come in.  More bills.  More paper.  More and more and more paper, more messages, all of it demanding some kind of attention, at the very least a decision about whether to discard it.  The piles get taller and wider and I feel like Lucy in the chocolate factory but it's not funny and there's no chocolate.  The weather's bad.  My feet are cold and I want to snuggle on the couch with the dog instead of sorting through the stacks of paper (and I include emails in this category) all clamoring for attention.

All I could do was lie on the couch with the dog and push everything off until tomorrow or maybe next week.

It took me a while to figure out that I was feeling overwhelmed.  The overwhelmedness came on so gradually that I didn't notice any difference until the weather cleared for a few days and I wondered why I wasn't feeling any better.  I still didn't feel like walking Miss Puppy, making meals, returning phone calls or clearing off my desk.

Last week it dawned on me that something was out of order and I started trying to fix it.

The contractors I'd called in February finally called me back to say they could come on a rain day and fix all the little holes in the wall and ceiling, out of wack closet doors, orphan light switches and leaky plumbing.  While they were here they patched the chair leg that somebody ::coughcoughdogcough:: had chewed, replaced some light bulbs and reinstalled our basketball hoop.

The house looked better.  I felt better.

I forced myself to monitor voicemails, most of which were junk.

The dial tone stopped beepbeepbeeping whenever I picked up the phone.  I felt better.

I picked one piece of paper out of the pile and discarded it; apparently if you procrastinate long enough almost any piece of paper becomes irrelevant.  I picked up another piece of paper, dealt with it and discarded it.  I picked up one more piece of paper and shoved it to the bottom of the pile for later.

The pile diminished.  I felt better.

So, I'm feeling better. Every day I feel a little less overwhelmed.

Baby steps.

Is It Any Wonder My Head Hurts?

I organize my life with a BlackBerry.  It does its job reasonably well, storing phone numbers, addresses, birthday reminders and dates.  It even maintains my shopping list.

I use a simple spreadsheet application called Grid Magic to keep track of everything I might need.

My list could have been truly alphabetized but it got too difficult to keep moving things up or down to make room for new items so now I keep my list in alphabetized "chunks."  Occasionally I temporarily add a new listing for a one-time purchase until I can manage to pick up zip ties, rope or a new microwave oven.

The spreadsheet on my BlackBerry is a handy tool to help me not forget anything crucial at the supermarket or superstore.

Unfortunately, occasionally the gremlins invade and tamper with my list.

Anyone know if supermarkets are carrying alpacas, llamas, ponies or gnus this spring?

More Than A Pair: How Many Scissors Are In Your House?

We actually have more scissors than what you see here: one pair lives in the car; several hang out with the art supplies; there's a pretty brass pair shaped like a stork in the sewing box; not to mention the nail scissors, which I graciously omitted. 

I guess in my mind scissors are equivalent to black shoes: you can never have too many.

How many scissors do you have in your house?  How many black shoes?

Does It Count As Passive-Aggression If There's Only Passivity, Hold The Mayo... Er... Aggression?

I blundered.  For a change.

But I have a plan -- a wonderfully evil and diabolical plan.

It's supposed to snow here tonight and tomorrow -- a lot.  Yet, even though our area boasts a plenitude of snowplows and a copiousness of road salt, we seem to panic at the mere mention of the "S" word.  But me?  I'm not worried; in fact, I'm pleased, for some or all of the following reasons:

1. I went to the store today to stock up on blizzard survival supplies, including but not limited to: crackers, cucumbers, evaporated skim milk, shampoo, frozen strawberries, Ding Dongs, nail polish remover and baking powder.
2. When the snow comes all schools will be canceled, and along with them Cupcake's voice lesson in the north and Robey's clarinet lesson in the south.
3. I'll awwww convincingly when word comes of cancellation of the lessons, while mentally high-fiving myself for not having to reschedule one or the other or both and thus come across as a nincompoop for scheduling two kids for two lessons in two locations at the same time.

Aren't I clever, except for that part where I set up simultaneous lessons for my kids at opposite ends of the city?

In An Effort To Conquer The Imminent Coming Academic Year With Preemptive Organization...

Because I'm addled admirably organized I created a spreadsheet to remind me who likes to eat what for dinner.  I hope it might prevent me from having to endure protests preparing something that one of the kids hates because I've temporarily blanked.

All I hoped for was yes or no answers.

Here are the girl's ratings:

YUMS

The following menu choices earned some form of Yum, YUM, or YUM!:

Lemon Chicken, Roasted Chicken, Burgers, Steak, Waffles and Pizza

• Chicken Soup received a Yummy
• Meatloaf came in at YUM YUM YUM -- the food, not the singer, although I'm sure they'd like this:

  

YESES

Some entries received yes, YES, YES!, or YESSSSSSS, including:

Tilapia, Sushi, Spaghetti, Brisket, Beef Stroganoff, Vegetable Soup, Tomato Soup with Grilled Cheese Croutons, Hard Shell Tacos, Spinach Lasagna

• Barbecued Chicken received a qualified YES, so long as there was no burnt stuff
• Stir Fry garnered a TOTALLY YES, with a request for pineapple
• Pancakes scored a Yes with a side request for chocolate chips

LOVE AND / OR <3<3<3

Liberal <3<3<3 were awarded to Salmon, Tuna, White Chili, and Twice Baked Potatoes

LOATHING

Hatred was expressed for Cornish Game Hens, accompanied by the following wistful note:

• but I love the little wish bones!

BEYOND DESCRIPTION

• Crepes: *I start drooling*
• French toast: *My mouth is creating a baby pool*

At least she didn't request the dressing on the side.

Anyone know where I can get some tiny wishbones?